self-esteem – ECI – Module 1: Typical Development

Emotional Skills

Emotional development is a broad term that describes how a child develops, displays, regulates and understands feelings and emotions. The development of a child’s self-concept and self-esteem (see full Glossary) are part of emotional development.

Emotional development includes the development of emotional regulation, learning how to soothe and calm oneself. This process starts early, with parents or caregivers providing young children with the comfort they need when distressed; for example, crying, hurt, scared and needing comfort.

At first, children need their parents to calm down. Later, they do it mostly on their own. Most parents know what to do, for example rocking their baby back and forth, and do not need to be taught how to soothe their children. It is something that comes naturally.
Some children may take more time to soothe than others. Their parents may find it harder to read their children’s emotions. These children tend to be a bit more irritable than others, but this does not mean that these children cannot be soothed. It’s important for parents to know that this may be their child’s temperament. Parents should not feel guilty if their child is not easy to comfort and should do their best to comfort their child regardless of how irritable they are or how difficult it’s to read their emotions.

Children should develop certain skills and reach certain developmental milestones, in order to become emotionally competent and stable adults. The most important of these emotional milestones/skills, including self-concept, are listed below:

establishing eye contact with others
establishing and maintaining eye contact with others
smiling, and later laughing
enjoying being handled
smiling at familiar people
knowing the difference between familiar people and strangers
enjoying daily routines (such as bathing and feeding)
responding to name being called
recognizing self in mirror
using parent or other familiar adults as a
social reference (see full Glossary)
playing, alone in solitary play (see full Glossary), and later, with others in parallel (see full Glossary) AND cooperative play (see full Glossary)
engaging in pretend play (see full Glossary)
displaying basic emotions
exploring their surroundings
having a “favorite” or “best” friend
displaying complex emotions
recognizing feelings and emotions in self and others
showing pride in achievements
making positive statements about self or showing a strong self-esteem (see full Glossary)
showing guilt over mistakes and/or having done something they should not have done
avoiding dangerous situations that may place them or others at risk
describing their own feelings and emotions
describing feelings and emotions in others

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Johnny was a term baby like his sisters, but was not an easy baby like them. He had trouble sleeping and reflux problem. But Johnny’s parents knew that each baby is different. They did not compare the children. They loved and accepted him. His needs were met and he was given what he needed to grow and thrive. He turned into a happy and fulfilled boy.

Social and Emotional Development: A Brief Overview

Social and emotional skills are key to child’s overall development. Babies, even at birth, are social beings! Newborns are hard-wired to get the attention, love and care of their parents, or anyone else who may be taking care of them. They are biologically programmed to be near people.

Emotional development is a broad term that describes how a child develops, displays, regulates and understands feelings and emotions. It also includes the way a child feels about him- or herself. The development of a child’s self-concept and self-esteem (see full Glossary) are part of emotional development.

Social development is also a broad term that describes how a child relates to others around them, including people they know, strangers, children their age and older or younger children. The ability to share, take turns, understand someone else’s perspective, and carry on a conversation is part of social development.

Babies are also born with distinct personality features or temperaments (see full Glossary). Babies are different also from their siblings in sleeping and eating habits, arousal level and how much stimulation they can tolerate. These are qualities that we all have when we are born. They develop as we grow older to form the adult personalities that we will later have.

Social and emotional development is the area of development more likely to be influenced by the environment. The different temperament styles and how babies learn to relate to their parents and others around them are greatly influenced by the kind of care they receive.

A child growing up in a healthy, loving and nurturing environment has a better chance to develop into an emotionally healthy and well-adjusted adult.
On the other hand, a child growing up in an environment where their basic needs for love, food, shelter, and safety are not met, has less opportunities to feel secure and to develop good relationships with others.

Although these are important factors, not all children growing up in adverse situations will show atypical development or will become maladjusted adults. As we have seen earlier in Module 1, development is a complex process that includes a combination of biological and environmental factors.

Children are resilient (see full Glossary); some of them have an immense capacity to thrive (see full Glossary) even under the most difficult circumstances.
Nevertheless, it’s important to consider the influence of those raising the children and the environment in which they live as a child’s overall development.

Providing security, love and support is essential for our children to ensure their well-being and optimum development.