American & Out of Touch

“This loss hurts. But please, please never stop believing that fighting for what’s right is worth it. It’s always worth it. And we need you keep up these fights now and for the rest of your lives.” – Hillary Clinton

Yesterday morning I woke up to my worst nightmare – a misogynist, a racist, a supremely unqualified political joke was elected to be the next president of the United States.

In a world where tens of horrible things happen every day, not much can shake me. The last time I remember crying when watching the news was during 9/11 – I was 6 years old and I didn’t understand what was going on but my mom was crying and that more than anything terrified me. A lot of terrible things have happened since 2001 but even when seeing some of the worst, I would simply feel numb, or shocked, or helpless.

But yesterday when I saw that Trump was elected, for the first time in 15 years I cried watching the news. Trump’s election was a wakeup call – it showed me how out of touch I am with the American people.

I grew up in Seattle – one of the most liberal parts of the country – in a multicultural family and surrounded by well-educated, multicultural people. I attend university (and have spent the last 3 years in) Canada – one of the best educated and most liberal countries in the world. I currently live in Denmark, another remarkably educated and liberal country. The Americans I grew up around were mostly liberal. The Americans I study with in Canada are most definitely liberal. The Americans I’ve met traveling around the world are without doubt very liberal.

“Life is tough my darling, but so are you.” – Stephanie Bennett-Henry

In my 21 years of life, tolerance and acceptance have been the mantra of the people around me. “Love yourself and others.” “Treat others how you want to be treated.” “Appreciate each other’s differences and learn from them.” “Be a voice for people who don’t have a voice.” “Let any of you who is without sin be the first to throw the stone.”

Meeting someone intolerant was something of an anomaly – to be talked about around the dinner table or laughed at in conversations with friends. I grew used to rolling my eyes at ‘the type of people that vote for Trump’ without realizing how much of a bubble I live in. Every place I’ve been to, I’ve largely met like-minded people. In voting for Hillary and what she stood for, I thought I was in the majority. I thought wrong.

The optimist in me, growing up in the circumstances I did, couldn’t believe that my country would, when it came down to it, elect Trump for president. How could people be so upset, so angry, so biased that they would elect someone that not only was completely unqualified but also so morally questionable to represent our country? Trump’s election yesterday promptly popped the bubble for me.

“When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.” – Henry Ford

I cried yesterday because my understanding of the United States of America has fundamentally altered. I cried because I felt out of place as an American citizen and I didn’t feel connected to the American people. I cried because I felt helpless. I felt helpless because I voted, the people of my state voted, and we overwhelmingly stood up for what we believed in – but we were outnumbered.

Coming out of this nightmare, I have realized something important. I am privileged to have grown up in a community that encourages educated discourse, and tolerance. I am privileged to have a college education. I am privileged to be exposed to the people I am. I am privileged to understand the benefits of diversity and personally benefit from them.

At the same time, I need to recognize that my response to others who haven’t grown up with the same benefits was at times patronizing and even condescending. I need to put that mindset aside and focus on understanding and educating rather than blaming and criticizing. Only then will I fully understand what brought the United States to this point, and start to make real change happen. I will never have the same view of what it is to be an ‘American’ but I will also strive towards helping my country fit the ideal I had in my mind.

When I talked to my dad yesterday, he encouraged me not to “give up on the United States” and I won’t. I am so uplifted by the response I’ve seen from my friends, my family, even strangers. They have reminded me that America the Beautiful was founded on ideals that don’t waver, regardless of the politicians and parties that have power. Knowing for the first time in my life what it feels like to have those values challenged, I will fight even harder.

I will follow the examples of President Obama and Secretary Clinton – both gracious and optimistic in their defeat – and I will recognize that love will always trump hate, even if it takes time. Most importantly, I will not give up.