To: Brionne McWilliams, ENGL 301 Student
From: Beenish Fatima, ENGL 301 Student
Date: March 17th, 2019
Subject: Peer Review of Formal Report Draft
Thank you for providing your formal report draft for peer evaluation, I have reviewed the document titled “Feasibility Analysis of a Professional Psychology Career” and offered my feedback below.
First Impressions
Overall Document
The report is well-constructed and has a clear organization structure that facilitates easy navigation and understanding of the content. This is done by organizing and labeling sections with appropriate headings and subheadings and providing a comprehensive table of contents page. There is significance in the content presented, it is well-referenced using credible literature sources and objectively presented using facts and data. There is a clear identification and breakdown of the problem being explored and the corresponding proposed resolution. More detailed review of each aspect of the report can be found below.
Content
Table of Contents
Includes a complete and helpful outline of all the elements covered in this report, allow the reader to use for quick reference and facilitate easy navigation. However, its use can be further improved by including page number along side the section and sub-section titles.
Introduction
Introduction of the report was the most informative section of the document, it effectively identifies the purpose and focus of the report as am exploration into the feasibility of a career in psychology. It also narrows the objective of this investigation by addressing the limitations and challenges associated with this topic. However, by breaking down this section to narrowed and more specific sub-components will help to emphasize important points of the section.
For example, by creating a specific sub-section heading for the content that covers the identification and analysis of the problem statement and area for improvement, would be more effective in emphasizing that information. This can be similarly applied for the research methodology component of the introduction. Again, using a sub-heading that clearly identifies that the section will cover data collection methodology will allows for increased emphasis of the content, as well as easy reference.
Data Section
The cohesiveness and identifiable progression of each section promotes fluidity and readability of the content. Being more selective and defined with the type of information included is in each of the section can further improve this cohesiveness and present information in a more effective and directed manner, this is specifically applicable for sub-section A of the Section II ‘Data Section’.
To expand on the aforementioned example, sub-section ‘A’ introduces factors affecting a career in Psychology, but the range of factors covered don’t seem to be aligned in the level and type of influence they hold. The diversity in the intricacies of the listed factors could overextend the focus of the reader, thereby overwhelming the reader distracting the reader from the overall objective of the section. Therefore, narrowing the focus to only cover a specific and defined range of factors will help to further enhance the unity of the content and enhance the efficacy its messaging.
Few of the sub-sections were indicated as incomplete due to the in-process data collection and thus were unavailable for review.
Conclusion
The recommendations provided to resolve this compelling problem, are practical and logical in nature. However, by expanding and providing more details for each presented solution, the reader can gain a more comprehensive understanding of their applicability and significance, and by extension conduct a more accurate feasibility assessment of their execution. This can be specifically achieved by providing real life examples of application or by referencing institutions or programs where the proposed recommendations are already being implemented. Furthermore, providing statistical evidence and other quantitative real-life data exemplifying efficacy of the listed solutions, will help to present a more persuasive case.
Few of the sub-sections were unavailable for review due to in-process data collection.
Organization
Overall Document
The report includes a detailed table of contents that outlines all components of the report and enables easy navigation of the content. A recommendation would be to include page numbers for all the listed elements in the table of contents. The same suggestion is applicable for the ‘Figures and Tables’ page. Furthermore, applying a consistent multi-level bullet list in ‘Table of Contents’ and consistently using it throughout to organize the headings and subheadings of the different sections will allow for easy reference of the report’s sections and improved navigation of the content.
The headings and subheadings outlined in the table of contents are appropriately used through out the report and are clearly reflective of each section’s content. Breaking down the introduction into smaller sub-elements such as, ‘Background Information’, ‘Problem and Significance’ and ‘Research Methodology’, introduces further organization to the section and allows the reader to more easily interpret and process the presented information. It also allows the reader to easily access this information for future reference, without having to read through the whole ‘Introduction’ section.
Writing Style
Overall Document
The writing style incorporates a clear reader-centered approach by utilizing you-attitude strategies. It minimizes the use of pronouns, presents information in an objective tone, incorporates facts and literature references rather than personal opinion and frames the message in context to its benefits to the reader. The latter characterization is achieved through focusing on a shared objective of the report and reader–increasing career prospects of psychology grads.
However, the flow of the document can be further improved by reviewing the grammar and sentence structure utilized throughout the report. Furthermore, the implementation of You-Attitude writing strategies can also be improved by listing the proposed recommendations (in the “Conclusion” section) without the use of imperative verbs and pronouns, and through the characterization of their benefits to the reader.
Below are a few specific examples:
- “A significant limitation to this study, is the lack of primary data on the Psy D doctoral program as there isn’t a Psy D graduate program offered at UBC.”
- Suggested revision: “A significant limitation of this study, is the lack of primary data on the Psy D doctoral program, this is due to an absence of a Psy D graduate program at UBC.”
- “Clearly, deciding if a career in professional psychology is the right choice is an imperative question to answer.”
- Suggested revision: “Clearly, deciding if a career in professional psychology is the right choice is an imperative decision to make.“
- “Speak to practising psychologists such as members of state associations and psychologists at APA’s Annual Convention to gain invaluable advice that can help you make a proper career choice.”
- Suggested Revision:Speaking to practicing psychologists–such as members of state associations and psychologists at APA’s Annual Convention, will facilitate access to invaluable advice that can help make a proper career choice.
- “Explore different career choices by researching career profiles and volunteering (i.e. local agencies in your community or psychology research labs)”
- Suggested Revision: Exploring different career choices by researching career profiles and volunteering (i.e. local agencies in your community or psychology research labs), will help identify alternative suitable career choices.
- “Weigh the implications of each career path (work environment, salary, job outlook, cost of training, length of post-doctorate training option: masters vs. doctorate)”
- Suggested Revision: Weighing the implications of each career path (work environment, salary, job outlook, cost of training, length of post-doctorate training option: masters vs. doctorate) will help to make an appropriate and apt career choice.
Design
Overall Document
By employing consistent formatting through out the report, that utilizes consistent font (ex. Times New Roman), 1.5 pt spacing and 12 pt sized font will make the content more reader-friendly. Visual appearance of bullet lists can be improved by consistent indenting of bullet points.
This draft of the report does not include any graphics, so specific feedback cannot be provided regarding this topic. A recommendation would be to prioritize the inclusion of data visualizations and figures as it will help assist the messaging of the report. Visuals are always a great strategy to engage readers and assist their understanding of the presented information.
The report does seem to include labels for figures that I assume will be provided in future drafts, these are found on the the “Figures and Tables” page. These labels provide an appropriate amount of information, clearly identifying purpose and revealing of the data they will be used to visualize.
Concluding Comments
Overall this report is very well composed, as seen through its thoroughly researched and supported content, consistent organization structure and You-Attitude writing style. It pulls data from relevant and established sources such as students and head of the psychology department and presents its findings in an effective and reader-centered manner. Specific recommendations and areas of improvements highlighted in this review are summarized below:
- Employing a consistent and reader-friendly formatting to enhance the readability
- Including visuals and figures to assist the messaging of the content
- Reviewing and fixing basic grammar errors to improve flow of the document
- Utilizing a consistent multi-level bullet list to organize the different sections and subsections of the report
- Being selective in the information that is included in the different components of the sections by implementing a defined range will enhance the unity and messaging of content
- Breaking down long run-on sections into smaller sub-sections to contribute to the organization and ease-of-processing of the content
- Maintaining a consistent organization structure through out to portray an overall cohesive and professional look
- Reviewing and fixing basic grammar errors to enhance the readability and flow of the document
- Avoiding the use of imperative verbs and pronouns will help characterize proposed recommendation in a more reader-friendly manner.
Hopefully, these recommendations are effective in helping you formulate and improve future drafts of your formal report. Please let me know if you have any concerns or additional questions relating to this review, you can reach me at beenish.ft@alumni.ubc.ca.
Enclosure: 301 Brionne McWilliams Formal Report Draft
Leave a Reply