Hi Dakota,
Thank you for your submission of the draft application package. Overall I found it to be very professional looking and your passion for your chosen field is very evident throughout, which I believe will make a great impression on Admission Departments or future employers. I have included some feedback and suggestions below.
Job Information:
Appropriate details are provided. Thank you.
References: “School of Urban Planning” – should be all italics.
Cover letter:
This is well written and clearly expresses your passion for your field. As directed, the cover letter should be one-page long, and the help acheive this, it could be edited for conciseness. One suggestion is to edit out pronouns and perhaps remove unnecessary information, as the reader should always be considered to be a very busy person.
Resume:
Layout: The layout of this resume is beautiful. It is visually pleasing and makes it very easy to identify your strengths. The icons next to the headings add a whimsical, personal touch.
Profile: Clear, concise. Well written. A solid beginning to the resume.
Career Vision: The addition of this section is a great way to identify goals and highlight what you have to offer potential employers. I suggest removing the verbs (i.e. “persuing”, “seeking”) and rather just highlight the points of the desired position.
I also suggest editing for conciseness by editing out pronouns:
Original – “I especially enjoy research and am looking for a role that will enable me to use my education, creativity, and passion to positively benefit communities.
Re-write – A position in which my education, creativity, and passion can be used to positively benefit communities
Education: Good. provides relevent detail.
Research experience: Good addition – highlights hands-on experience that you have gained, which is a huge asset!
Community involvement: Well done. Lists a few action items under each heading which describes what was involved.
Employment history: Good.
References: The textbook recommends adding references or indicating “references available upon request” if space is a concern.
Letters:
Written in a polite, friendly tone.
Editing out pronouns can enhance the letter, making it more succinct.
It may be helpful, considering that the reader is very busy, to include a brief mention of skills that you excelled in or things that you learned while working with them, to make writing the reference easier for them.
I hope you found this feedback helpful and that my suggestions were useful in perfecting your application package. Please do not hestiate to reach out if you have any questions, or if you require any clarification on any of my suggestions. You can contact me at alicia.degelder@alumni.ubc.ca. This is an excellent start to a very professional application package and I wish you all the best in your future endeavours.
Best regards,
Alicia DeGelder
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