Dear Erica,

My friends: Lauren, Megan, Katie and myself in the UBC Rose Garden last weekend. This is a shot I took after we finished up a photo shoot. They were nice enough to take time out of their day to be my models for a VISA 183 project. That’s why I’m in TOMS and they are in heels. What lovely folk they are.

Last summer, I was asked to write a letter to myself for me to receive in the mail one year later. This happened before I started university. Last Friday was a little less than a year, but it came. Somehow, for once, I didn’t recognize my own handwriting that spelt out my name and address on the front of the envelope. I opened it, unsure of what was inside, until I saw 5 main goals written on the outside of the folded sheet of paper.

It read,
“GOAL:
BFA Honours -> MFA
Learn French
Starry Night
Be physically fit
Be happy with yourself”

These were the things I cared about the most. I wrote this just a week before I was leaving for UBC last August. I can say that most of those goals are being met. If you are wondering what Starry Night means, that’s a story for another day that I will share with you soon.

There is also what I wrote inside.

“Dear Erica,
I hope that you have found a great love, your passion and all the inspiration in the world. I hope you reach your Top 20 Under 20 goals. I hope you are sleeping about 8 hours a night and physically fit. I wonder what your relationship is like with Trevor. I think I just ended it with him but it’s usually never over. I hope Starry Night took off and the Mob is a huge success. I hope your grades are around 85. I hope AE in Vancouver is great. I hope you found your life long friends. I hope your acne has cleared up. I hope you still listen to Viva Radio & This America Life.

Be honest.
Use your ethical compass.
Focus on your grades.
Live your life.
Be honest some more.
Share everything with Loran.
Go to Disney World.”

Then there are little things I wrote at the bottom of the letter,

“I’m just trying to be me, whoever that is.” – Bob Dylan

“Make someone’s day special. If you aren’t happy -> figure out why and change it.

Love, Erica Baker.”

Under that, it says “Read reverse.” I flip over the paper. I’ve included a five dollar bill and a note.
“Okay so I’m making a little investment. I’m putting it in this envelope  hoping it makes it to the new me in a year. Use it on something you really need. Use it on something that will make you happier. Use it to benefit yourself. You need to be happy. You need to take care of yourself. Love.”


What a perfect time for me to receive this. I only have two more days of class and I’m currently reflecting on my first year of university. Overall, I have achieved what I wanted.

This semester, I finally convinced myself 8 hours of sleep is good. I am now more comfortable with my body and I even have gone to the gym a few times. To add to that, I took pole dancing classes, joined a UBC REC soccer team and played on my floor’s football team. Hannah even took me for a few early morning runs along old NW Marine Drive & took me swimming in the pool.

Trevor. I wanted to go home this summer to be able to be around him. Those plans didn’t work out. We had a good few months of contact in the winter. Christmas break was a lot of fun, it felt like I had never left my hometown and that we hadn’t stopped dating. 5 years is a long time. Now, we don’t talk. We were living a half-relationship half-not sort of thing for a while that was just too stressful on my system. I’ve really grown in five years, and he hasn’t changed, we’re just not the same mix anymore. It’s hard to find things in common besides the past, but he’ll always be someone I want to call “baby.”

I’ve found my lifelong friends. They know who they are. I have 23 photos of one of them on my wall in my dorm room. We counted. I remember laying down on my longboard last October, looking at the night sky, on the roof of the Marine Drive Parkade. I told Alex, who was sitting on his board next to me, that the most important thing for me this year was my friends. In high school, I was so focused in everything that was American Eagle, volunteering, and politics. I’m glad that I’m coming out of this year with the closest friends a girl could ask for. They even read my blog without me forcing them. Guys, thank you.

I’m keeping true to most of the things I mentioned. I listened to some This American Life today, my acne isn’t as bad as it has been in the past, I am very happy with myself, I’ve shown lots of love, and I’ll always remember that if I’m not happy I will figure out why and I will change it.

Thank you Erica from the past, you rock. I’ll save that five dollars for something special.

12 thoughts on “Dear Erica,

  1. Ontario

    I haven’t commented in a while, but I thought you should know how cool and amazing you really are. I wish we got to hang out more this year, but we still have (at least!) 3 years to do so. Ebakes, you are the real deal

  2. Meagan McLavish

    Hey Erica,
    I saw your fb status, which is how I ended up here…
    I also received my letter (about 10 days ago), and it floored me. It really did. I read it over and over and over again, and I spent the rest of my night reflecting on where I wanted to be then, and where I am now. I know the impact that letter had on me, and I couldn’t help but wonder the impact it had on other scholars…
    I admire so many things about you, dear Erica, and I am proud of you for staying true to yourself, and for reaching your goals from last august. You’re amazing and wonderful, and you inspire me to be better.
    Thank you for sharing 🙂
    -Meagan

  3. Katie

    ERICA,

    You’re adorable and I love you. You’re more honest and nice than anyone. I know you’re happy but… you should smile more so that I can tell and I can stop asking you what’s wrong.

    Love you again.
    hearts and hearts and hearts

  4. Eastwood

    What a beautiful post.

    You’ve just inspired me to set my sights, once again, on a personal goal from last summer of being the best I can be.

  5. Lindsey

    I love your blog. Just thought I’d let you know. I particularly enjoy Music Mondays. The way you spend your days and the amount of work you do so selflessly really makes you stand out as an amazing person!
    Can’t wait to hear all about your summer as it happens.
    xo

  6. Kelvin

    I admire your honesty and the courage of presenting yourself from the past to us: your humble readers. I’m glad you found lots of friends in a radically new place that is UBC.

  7. Megan

    You’re a big loser and I don’t like you…

    Just thought I’d try to be different. But not really, I’m lying in case you didn’t get that. In reality I would appreciate if you did not leave my beautiful city for an entire 4 months and since you unfortunately are make you sure you have more than 23 photos of me on your wall in Toronto. That’s all for now

  8. Matt Corker

    Totally love the letter to yourself idea. It’s always so interesting to see what you were thinking about at the time. Our future and our present can sometimes be so synonymous!
    PS. sweet post.

  9. Paulina

    That is so incredibly cool, whats even more cool is how you really stayed true to yourself. How the heck do you send a letter to yourself that comes a year later though?

  10. Gregory

    That is so cool to do. I wonder if I could write my address so badly it would get lost in the post for at least 10 months but eventually end up getting to me. Then I wouldn’t even know when to expect it.

    If you had a way to do this again then maybe you should invest that $5 in Erica of the future, or even top it up so Erica 2011 gets $10 in the post. Or just buy your life long friends some candy. :o)

  11. Jen Brule

    Erica your super cute
    Im ashamed to say this is the first blog I read, But I loved it !
    So glad we could be reconnected 7 years later at UBC on Nootka 2!

Comments are closed.