Imagine it’s Valentines Day.

You get a kiss form your girlfriend/boyfriend, a hug from your mom/dad, a high five from your best friend, and a salute from everybody else. This salute can take many forms, whether it be in words, a card, or a type of chocolate, but each one shows a level of appreciation for another that’s gone silent for the rest of the year. Valentines day, that fictitious Halmark marketing ploy, makes people say the things that they hide year round, and everybody gets one step closer to becoming a teddybear – warm and fuzzy. In fact, it’s the only day of the year that anybody can walk around handing kisses and hugs off to everybody they want, without any notion of craziness, and that’s exactly what I’d like to talk about.

Everybody in North America has been given a Hershey’s kiss and hug [the hugs are the ones that are striped with white chocolate, while kisses are either one or the other], but I want to know if anybody has ever noticed the segregation that goes on with in these treats. Where hugs are allowed to combine both milk and white chocolate, kisses are designed to be one colour through and through. Where hugs promote integration, kisses promote segregation! If this is the time of year that we are supposed to be true to ourselves, say the things to those around us that we honestly feel, what is it that Hershey is trying to say? Do they want America to return to those dark days? These are my questions….

[This entire post is meant to be sarcastic and satirical… if that wasn’t clear in the tone, and the song choice at the beginning…]