The most misleading title ever… The Lover by Marguerite Duras

I keep forgetting to ask a question, so I am going to start with it this time: If you could title this work differently, what would you title it? Based on my own experience reading the novel I would title it something like: “The Surfacing of Fears Sunken in Her Pond of Yellow Soap.”  Maybe a bit long, and not so much a title, but that scene where the mother cleaned her house was the most impactful for me.

Now that the question has been asked (I’m sorry for forgetting y’all) my thoughts on “The Lover”

I liked it. The writing style was probably my favourite of all the novels we’ve read. The story itself was not very plot-heavy, which I like. I like reading stories about people and their relations so all the stuff about her family and mother was very compelling to me.

I think that the sexual relationship between her and the older Chinese man was interesting, but her relationship with Helene Lagonelle was the most intimate to me. Although she doesn’t talk about Helene frequently, in two of the times she does talk about her she describes intense sexual and personal attraction to Helene. Especially on page 102 the descriptions of wanting to have “whispering conversations” with her shows the deep intimacy that she sees herself capable of having with her. Although she and the man from Cholon have physical intimacy, on page 74 she describes wanting Helen as a part of this physical intimacy. I wonder why Helen is brought up in the story at all? Is Marguerite expressing homosexual attraction? If not, what other purpose does expresssing your attraction to another woman have? I see Helen as as women to be compared in opposition to Marguerite’s mother, like the beggar. On page 102 Marguerite expresses how H.L. waits up for Marguerite, unlike her mother, who doesn’t care and even tells the school to let her go with whoever she wants. Another thing that I found powerful was the line that describes H.L. as: “not lying down decorously like the other girls”. Marguerite sees her mother as a faker who tries to seem more wealthy, and mentally well than she is; she lies about her sons, she has houseboys even though they don’t have much food, etc. H.L. is not that, she is true. Despite many nights spent together, even the man from Cholon is never described when he is sleeping (although it is said that Marguerite is seen sleeping by him). In this way, even though they don’t have sex, her relationship with H.L. is expressed as more intimate than her relationship with the man. Clearly, H.L. was impactful enough on Marguerite’s life to make it into the book, despite not having any significant role in her life such as family or lover. I think she shows how Marguerite is just beginning her journey, with the man from Cholon. Her curiosity about H.L. shows how the man from Cholon is not capable of being the intimacy that Marguerite needs, she is deeper than he understands with more to explore and discover within herself (likely because she is FIFTEEN!!!)

anyways, those are my thoughts, (again sorry about the question lacking previously)

Beyond my question at the start, does anyone have any thoughts on ol’ H.L.?

Dalia

6 Comments

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6 Responses to The most misleading title ever… The Lover by Marguerite Duras

  1. sitie zhou

    Hi! I really find your post thougthful and interesting! When I was reading it, I was only attending to the relationship between Marguette and Helene. “I am worn out with desire for Hélène Lagonelle.” I find their relationship way more like forbidden love. –Esther Zhou

  2. Cici

    Thanks for sharing! I would probably name the book …. “The tangled love”??maybe~

  3. Jessica Jensen

    I also thought that the way Marguerite described Hélène was very interesting! “The most beautiful of all the things given by God is this body of Hélène Lagonelle’s” suggests Marguerite has a profound appreciation for Hélène’s physical beauty, portraying it as a divine gift. But, she also says that Hélène “makes you want to kill her” and “conjures up a marvelous dream of putting her to death with your own hands,” which I think introduces a darker and more conflicted element to Marguerite’s feelings.

  4. Tesi

    Dalia, great idea to focus on the interpersonal femenine relationships. Great questions surrounding Helene and I love your description of sleeping as intimacy, I think it is a great support to your argument. In a way I also think that the author writes in Helene to contrast the respective ideals of male / female relationships? Maybe also the qualities they each value, brings forth and project (thinking here also about how at certain points the narrator reflects on how the lover would treat her as his own daughter and such). I also think your point about Helene being a foil to the mother is very compelling.

    Thanks for your comment!
    – Tesi

    • Dalia

      So true about him treating her like a daughter, one of the saddest parts of the book for me, really shows how there is a disconnect between them and they are in a relationship where the love/pure intimacy is not the thing they are getting out of their entanglement: it’s money and comfort for her, and an object care for, for the man. H.L. on the other hand is on an even playing field where there relationship would have a chance of being pure, and about love/intimacy. Thank you for the comment!! I love female friendship\love, I think it’s such a powerful theme and always fills me with joy!

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