Because I only think it’s fair for me to be scrupulously honest about both my failures and my successes, the title is the result of my Creative Writing application.
What to say about it? Well, I’m not particularly devastated about this as I would’ve been about English. I’m not even very disappointed as I will be if I don’t get into co-op next term. I’m actually somewhat relieved that I don’t have to choose between an additional Creative Writing major or co-op, because I can’t have both and English on top of that within five years at uni. So I’d feel quite bad if anyone tries to console me, and I’m not saying this in that irritating way that people sometimes do when they won’t admit that they cared about or really wanted something and failed to get it because they don’t want to look like failures — I mean it quite sincerely.
Maybe I shouldn’t have applied if I didn’t care enough, but I wasn’t sure and I figured it’s better to try than to regret not trying. Anyway, I cared enough to put together a 58-page portfolio.
Speaking of which, I’ve seen that portfolio and my opinion coincides with the department’s opinion: it’s not good enough. Most of it is old, old stuff, certainly not very good for a 19-year-old. I’m sorry to say that I’m not even slightly discouraged — as far as I’m concerned, it just means I need to keep practising. Obviously I want to improve, but most of the time I’m just doing it for myself in the same way the only person who hears me play the piano is me. I do it anyway, which is perhaps the key reason why I’m not miserable. Nothing’s changed.
8 responses to “Rejected!”