Thesis pains

As I sit here working on an outline for attempt I-don’t-want-to-count-anymore of my thesis, I can’t help but worry how I’m ever going to produce 20-25 pages of good writing that I, my supervisor and my second reader will be happy with.

The goal this week is just to produce something, period.

I usually hate talking about my thesis. I don’t hate talking about my topic or the questions currently occupying my brain — I love talking about those at length with people who want to discuss them when I feel safe enough and not defensive — but I hate it when people who clearly are not interested ask anyway just to compare notes on our progress and pat themselves on their backs for how much better they are doing than I am.

I hate excusing myself from answering these questions as much as possible, and the lengths to which I will go to talk about anything else: the food, the weather, oh look, there’s a squirrel! Because most of the time, I don’t want to explain that I have an extension on my thesis and why that is; I don’t want to explain that there are a number of complex reasons why it’s not going nearly as well as the work I’m used to producing, or anywhere close to where I want it to be. I’m not used to not being a good student. I hate that this piece of work that I was looking forward to doing, and which I would otherwise be completely in love with, is tied up in all kinds of negativity because of personal issues I have no intention of divulging to nosy strangers who raise their eyebrows gleefully at my snail-like progress (if one can raise one’s brows gleefully) and say, ‘Really? Well, I’ve done [insert so many pages in so little time], so I know exactly how hard it is!’

No, you don’t. Go away. I honestly don’t give two hoots what you’re writing about either, because it is probably something as obscure and meaningless as mine is to you if we aren’t in each other’s fields. Let’s talk about something we might actually have in common, why don’t we, like that squirrel over there. (I wish I were brave enough to be rude in person.)

Meanwhile, I am going to get back to this exhausting outline. I just rediscovered a 15-page paper that I wrote for a graduate class a couple of years ago that even got a decent grade, and am now telling myself that another 5 pages on top of that can’t be such a great difference. If I did it once, I can do it again.

Right?

Things I Love Thursday

This is a week for the love of the purely domestic. As it turns out, the simplest things are also some of the happiest:

♥ The smell and feel of clean, warm laundry.

♥ The pleasant surprise when I go to clean the lint out of a dryer before I use it to find that the previous user has already done it!

♥ My vegetable peeler from Daiso. You don’t remember how useful these things are until you live with just a knife for a whole year. (Admittedly, I got a little overexcited while peeling my potatoes and probably wasted as much as usual. But no more.)

♥ Other highly useful items purchased from Daiso and IKEA lately: my can opener, dish towels, bath rug, new lamp, cutlery, mugs, plates and bowls. I have enough dishes for four whole people, not just one!

♥ My brother’s fantastic friend who brought 煎饼果子 to the Thanksgiving potluck on Saturday. A Tianjin specialty with no translation that I know of, I never thought I’d eat it anywhere outside of, well, Tianjin.

♥ People who ask for second helpings of something I cooked/baked. Actually, I also quite liked my mac and cheese and wish I’d kept a couple of banana chocolate chip muffins.

♥ People who feed me. Thanks for the delicious turkey dinner on Sunday, Dan!

♥ Heartfelt thanks also go out to my friends who willingly crammed themselves made themselves cosy in my studio just so I could cross off #41 on my Day Zero list. Your food and company were both delectable.

Have a happy weekend!

Feeling creative? Submit to The Garden Statuary!

The latest excitement in my life was applying to and getting on board the editorial team for The Garden Statuary, a fairly new student-run journal for creative and academic work. Hurray!

I haven’t done this kind of editing in four years (proofreading people’s last-minute papers isn’t quite the same…) and am looking forward to seeing the kind of creative work that students are producing.

Which brings me to my next and very predictable point:

If you are even the least bit interested in submitting your work, please do! You must be a UBC undergraduate at the time of submission, but that’s about the only stipulation. (Oh, and don’t plagiarise. Because we all know how uncool that is.)

We accept academic essays, fiction, non-fiction, poetry, stage/screenplay, artwork, photography, illustrations, and even film and music. For more details on submission length and format, check out The Garden Statuary website. The deadline for the Term 1 issue is Monday, 7th November.

Alternatively, if you would like to sign up for the email list, just fill out a comment with your name and email below (your email won’t be displayed).

I can’t wait to see what you come up with!

Things I Love Thursday

Thanksgiving weekend is almost upon us and I actually have plans this year! Big smiles all around. As well for:

♥ Last Thursday, Slam UBC had its first poetry slam of the year at Simply French Café on West 10th and Alma (a unique little place run by a delightful family). Music + spoken word + hot chocolate = love.

♥ There’s a single golden tree outside my window that is slowly ripening into its full fire. (Mixed metaphors for the win.)

♥ Over the summer, I was at the Vancouver Art Gallery with a friend and was given a promo to the Keg ($40 steak meal for 2). My brother and I ran off to use it on Monday. Hurray for unexpected deals!

♥ Speaking of the Vancouver Art Gallery, Tuesday evening entry by donations are the way to go for poor, scrimping students (5-9 pm).

♥ While I’m not a fan of Safeway produce, I do enjoy their Customer Appreciation Days on the first Tuesday of every month (10% off all purchases of $35 or more). Hello, 5kg bag of flour for $5!

♥ This is one of my favourite pictures. The coolest thing is that I once saw an alley in Dieppe, France, that was a bit like this (though not as awesome), with hoops and toys and random things strung out along lines above the courtyard.

Suicide

Would you know what to do if someone you loved told you they were suicidal?

If you asked me in my first year at UBC, the answer would have been no. When I first came to Vancouver, I didn’t know anyone — personally — who had died by suicide. Two years later, I would know two. Add the people who attempted or had serious plans to attempt suicide, and we’re well onto counting off the fingers on my second hand.

Now I don’t think these figures are abnormal or that I happen to know more suicidal people than the average student. Suicide is the second leading cause of death for young people aged 10 to 24 in Canada, yet hardly anyone talks about it in daily conversation, and even fewer people would say they feel equipped to support someone suicidal. Most people are visibly uncomfortable when the subject comes up and find it easier not to talk about it at all.

Yet I sincerely believe that not talking about suicide is our gravest mistake. Silence allows people to fall through the cracks, for the seemingly sudden, shocking acts that leave surviving friends and family grieving and asking themselves why they didn’t notice something sooner.

Because the truth is that suicide rarely happens without any warning. The problem is that few people recognise the signs for what they are or, if they do, fewer yet choose to do something because they don’t believe it’s serious, are afraid to act for fear of angering their loved one, or simply don’t know what they should do.

Maybe you know someone right now who is worrying you and you want to help them. Or maybe you don’t, but would like to be a little more prepared when — not if — you do.

 

Resources for suicide prevention

The UBC Mental Health Awareness Club is hosting a speaker on suicide prevention and awareness this Wednesday, 4:30-6:00 pm (IKB 157). Faris Atkinson will be speaking on ‘How to Help a Friend’. Admission is free for members and $1 for non-members. RSVP by email.

QPR (Question, Persuade, Refer) is a suicide prevention program built loosely around the CPR model of providing immediate intervention until professional help can be accessed. Departments and student groups can email them directly to set up workshops.

Here to Help has an excellent fact sheet online that runs through some key, practical points to keep in mind when trying to support someone through a suicidal crisis.

 

If you are in crisis or are approaching crisis

1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) is a 24/7 crisis line for anyone who is in distress or who is worried about someone who may hurt themselves. More than 100 languages are available if you prefer to speak in another language.

UBC Counselling Services is free for UBC students and is located in Brock Hall. All services are confidential. Appointments are by drop-in, unless you need an emergency appointment, which you can request at reception.

YouthInBC is an online service run by the BC Crisis Centre that includes a live, online chat with crisis volunteers from noon to 1 am everyday, professional email support, and crisis lines for all ages.

 
Please note that this is by no means an exhaustive list and there is so much more that needs to be said. Suicide prevention and awareness is something I could write several posts on, but this is all I wanted to point out for now after being reminded tonight of how much I wish I’d known before I needed to know them.

I also apologise for the UBC/BC-centred nature of this post, as I’m well aware that this has very little helpful information for the non-BC resident. Nor do I say any of this with any pretence of being an expert: I’m not any more than a fairly regular student who speaks from personal experience, a little searching around, and a little training in suicide prevention through past volunteer work.