This is from earlier this week, but I just wanted to share my thoughts on/responses to the trauma literature “station” activity. The text that impacted me was the one that details a factory worker during the Holocaust who is forced to sexually please the German overseer/commander.
I was actually very uncomfortable at the end of the activity and things did not sit right with me. I don’t think it was anyone’s fault except my own, because I have a high degree of empathy so I placed myself in the protagonist’s shoes. Even though I do not have a shared experience or trauma outlined in the excerpt, it just hit me like a truck. It was just unbelievably tragic to see the phrasing which described the scene of trauma: “He learned to be flexible as to [better please his master].” It was almost as if the protagonist was so desensitized to the act of abuse and sexual violence that he almost detached himself to it, almost working and endeavouring to become “better” at it to survive and/or win favours from the commander.
I talked to Amber after the session and she was super comforting and kept apologizing even though it wasn’t her fault that I was feeling that way. I really appreciated her concern and care that she provided before, during and after the activity. I appreciated doing it in groups so that we didn’t have to go through it alone, and that the necessary levels of cushioning and care was always there just in case.
Doing this activity and working with trauma texts definitely helped me to see how students can react to or engage with difficult texts. I didn’t have a similar experience yet the text still hit me hard, and I couldn’t help but imagine how difficult it would be for a student who have a related traumatic experience. Because I learn in an experiential way, because I have had this experience, I feel confident that I would be more equipped to utilizing and teaching these texts and also better understanding and accommodating to my students in the future. Thank you Amber for preparing this activity and to my “station group” members for accompanying me!