This week’s poem comes from Retrospective. It was written by Luz Elena (Sergio’s wife in the novel).
—Soldadito, dear soldier—whence have you come?
—From the war, Señorita—how can I serve thee?
—Have you seen my husband—ever, in the war?
—No, Señora, I haven’t seen him—nor do I know what he’ s like.
—My husband is tall, fair—tall and fair, from AragónAnd by the tip of his sword—he carries an embroidered cloth
I embroidered it when I was a girl—as a girl I embroidered,
Another one I am embroidering now—and another I shall.
—From the description you give—your husband is dead,
They took him to Zaragoza—to the house of a colonel.
—Seven years I’ve waited for him—another seven I’ll wait,
If after fourteen he has not come—I’ll become a nun.
—Hush, hush, Isabelita—hush, hush, Isabel,
I am your dear husband—you are my beloved.
I chose this poem as for me it resonates with current world affairs. Since I read it, it stayed with me.
I was behind my reading for Savage Detectives. A reading slump. Then I read 150 pages’ in a day, and I feel my love for reading coming back. There is a small “testimonio” (or novella) that caught my attention. I loved reading it. It is Mary Wattson’s story — She goes to Oxford and then gets in a van going on a road trip with strangers and eventually meets the “night watchman”. I presume that this night watchman is Arturo Belano? The prose’s maturity heals something in me. In fact, I feel more engaged with this part of the novel. Moreover, I am interested in Ulises Lima’ travels to Isr**l. So far, the prose has not mentioned any of there history of the region…. and yet, it subtly approaches geopolitical subjects within dialogue. I had thought Ulises’ travels to Isr**l would be spiritually motivated. I had thought it would culminate in Ulises’ going to Zion and receiving some sort of epiphany that would change the entire plot. Perhaps a deus ex machina? It appears that I am wrong. It was all for Claudia’s love! And talk about San Epifiano, his death was unexpected, and felt sad as Angelica recounts his death. I think this text is teaching me to process emotions. I have laughed, shed tears, felt anxiety, felt happy and re-explored the joys of reading. When reading Maria Font’s entry (as she affairs an affair with Jacinto) I felt sad. Are we humans really sad creatures? I felt sad that Jacinto betrayed Xochitl, especially with his son in the house unit….. how dare he? Perhaps, the text is making me explore or deconstruct how my own beliefs are clashed with others. I like to think that it is a healing experience. That reading this novel, is giving me new perspectives on things. And it also helps me keep things off my mind. I remember, my dream was to do ArtsOne. I always wanted to read those fancy philosophy books and the novels each week. I did not have that opportunity, yet, I have RMST 202 and RMST 495. In its own way, this semester is my own ArtsOne, and I had been stupid to waste it away. This is my dream come true! Reading a novel a week at least. I thought, I always wanted to get paid for reading. (Especially for reading Bolano…) but instead I am getting an education of myself, an exploration of how reading constructs and shapes my identity as a reader. I realize, I have an emotional attachment to some characters now. To Ulises, to Cesarea Tinajero, to Belano, to the way others characters behave. Reading is the hope, the deus ex machina I needed in my life. I think slowly and carefully reading the characters’ “testimonios” holistically portray a bigger picture — and I am interested in uncovering it. I think that once I see the bigger picture, I will get Revelations. The entries then might not be a “ragamuffin” but a tactic from Bolano for delayed revelation for the reader.
I am now at the part wherein Ulises is lost in Nicaragua and am genuinely interested in how the narrative will unfold.









