This random thought popped into my head today while I was walking down Main. (Obviously blog material). I was just thinking about Christmas and going home.
The other night I booked my plane ticket home (actually that’s a lie I’m not as independent as I make myself seem to be – my Mama booked my plane ticket home) and I started singing All I Want For Christmas by Mariah Carey. Yeah, I’m excited about flying back to Toronhaaaa but I’m curious how it’s going to feel. Is my home going to look the same? Will my room look completely childish or will I get hit with nostalgia? I had all these plans to visit my friends but will any of it seem relevant anymore? Have I even spoken to them recently? I don’t know what it’s going to feel like going back but it’s going to be different, just because I’ve established such a different life out here.
Coming to UBC I had only know literally a couple – as in two- other people. But nobody else knew who I was. I realized that I really could be anyone. For all they knew I could’ve been Hit Girl from Kick Ass, part of the Chinese mafia, who enters Scrabble tournaments on Wednesday nights and goes to church fellowship on Sundays afternoons, who’s been tap dancing since she was 10 years old and has a collection of converse sneakers. (One of those things are true. So let’s play 5 Lies and a Truth?)
Point is, I haven’t “reinvented” myself per se by being here. I’ve become who I am by being here and everyday little by little I keep reaffirming who I am. If you act like the type of person you want to be, eventually you’ll wake up one morning and realize that you are that person.
I read a quote once and to paraphrase it said “People don’t change, they just become more of who they really are”. I guess the difference is that I don’t have any witnesses here. I don’t have any one from grade seven pestering me about that time I danced with the geekiest kid in our class or other embarrassing moments that don’t really need to be mentioned…
If we want to get all motivational with the quotes I also really like “Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” I try keeping that one in mind.
Aside: I think I’ve been listening to way too much Bon Iver. I love Justin Verrnon’s music but maybe I should stray from the quiet acoustic folk type while walking in the rain. It makes me feel like my iPod is constantly stuck on the New Moon Twilight Saga soundtrack. Just music that you listen to when it’s gloomy and overcast. For the ‘Twihards’ if anyone pretends they’re in Forks and or that kind of setting. Is that depressing? Perhaps. But I feel like it’s balanced by the Bob Marley my yoga instructor has recently started playing during sessions.
But enough serious talk, randoms thoughts du jour:
Today I dressed up as my prof in blue plaid, a sphinx (because I’m nerdy and dress up like creatures from Greek mythology and plays/works of literature I’m reading in class like that) and signed up for the Quidditch team. All in one day!
Plus, I went to have sex with your advisor. Nicole, you did wHaT?! Ugh, I went to Sex with Your Advisor. Haha because putting in capital letters makes all the difference. Basically, a sex question/answer/advice pannel at Totem Park with your Rez Advisor’s. Pretty awkward, some funny parts, some TMI moments. Bonus! If you came out you got glow-in-the-dark condoms. Be safe, kids! As if there aren’t enough friendly free events for handing out condoms.
Bon nuit tout le monde. Now go listen to bon iver.
[Author’s note: Title comes from Bon Iver’s song Blood Bank more rainy season music. As happy and bubbly as I like to be we all have our quiet moments of contemplation.]
“Like isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”
^ I really like and agree with that one… never came across it before.
But you know what I relate to even more? “If you act like the type of person you want to be, eventually you’ll wake up one morning and realize that you are that person.” Wise words there! I often wonder, why can’t I be the person I want to be, and you’ve answered it. Thanks =)
Haha wow. Totally missed that major typo. (So much for proof reading, eh?)
“Li[f]e isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself” – Unknown. I’m not like a totally like valley girl.
Anytime Paulina, anytime. Keep smiling (:
For me, going back was pretty different, but only for a few days. You get so used to living here and doing things differently that when you go back, you still do them differently. But then you remember where you are, what’s not expected of you anymore (and what is) and you fall back into who you used to be. At least, that’s what happened to me. I became quite independent at university and once I got home, I felt the dire need to go grocery shopping because we didn’t have anything I wanted…but then I remembered that my mom is the one who does the grocery shopping, not me, and other things like that.