The episode starts off with Si-Won fighting with her dad as she pleads for a pair of really expensive branded jeans in the car as they head for the hospital to visit Yoon-Jae. Dong-Il, agitated by Si-Won’s whining, he screams “A student only needs a uniform. What else do they need?”
Si-Won and Dong-Il’s fight continues in the car as they throw hurtful words to each other such as,
“I’d rather have him as my own child”
“I am very jealous of that Gyu Geong doesn’t have parents”
When stopped at the lights, a car hits the back of Dong-Il’s car. The couple, Dong-Il and Il-Hwa, get out of the car putting on an act. Both holding their neck and back to exaggerate their injuries and end up calling the ambulance where they are taken to the hospital demanding for a complete checkup. Results of the test for Dong-Il is bad news—he has cancer.
Si won, desperate to gain these special jeans, sends made up stories about people around her to a radio station where they give out these jeans as a prize. She ends up winning the jeans for a story she had made up about her father being diagnosed with cancer. Her made up story come true.
This episode wraps around the story of Si-Won’s dad, Dong-Il as he is unexpectedly diagnosed with cancer. The episode portrays the emotions of Dong-Il and Si-Won. Although the two seem to never get along, the bond between them is unexplainably strong. Dong-Il worries about his family, especially his not yet matured daughter—feeling sorry that he is unable to give everything for Si won. Whereas Si-Won cries in sorrow after hearing about her dad’s diagnosis. She feels guilty for the diagnosis of her dad.
Despite all the harsh words that Dong-Il says, we see his love towards Si-Won through his actions. He finishes Si-Won’s super long summer homework so that his daughter would not receive spanking from her teacher. The episode ends with the surgeon (cameo by singer Kim Jong Min), who we find out is the person who hit Dong-Il’s car, announcing that the surgery was a success.
The father-son or father-daughter relationship is common theme in Korean dramas. Are there any ideas as to why this might be a reoccurring theme in K-dramas? Is Dong-Il and Si-Won’s relationship distinct only in South Korea or is this a universal bond that people have?
Let me know thoughts!
This episode was viewed on Netflix.
Edited by Dohee
Thanks for the post Dohee!
I’ve mentioned in a previous post that usually Il-hwa is the supportive and easy-going parent, meanwhile Dong-il’s personality is quite hot-headed and prefers punitive measures as a form of discipline. This ties into traditional gender roles where women (mothers) are expected to be the highly emotional and sympathetic character in the family, whilst men (fathers) represent rationality and dominance. In the past few episodes, we do see Si-won’s parents arrange parenting/familial responsibilities according to the traditional structure. However, Dong-il breaks the mould and becomes the caring parent after his diagnosis. He worries about Si-won; what her future would be like without a father early on in her life. Dong-il also reflects his mistakes and ineptitude as a father. A big piece of this episode is how Dong-il and Si-won emotionally connect for the first time — honesty breaks down all the walls they’ve put in place. I believe this provides a progressive statement for fathers to identify more with their child, and provide the care and support required for a parent, rather than simply providing material/economic resources that traditional male roles encourage. On a similar note, shows like “The Return of Superman” (슈퍼맨이 돌아왔다) demonstrate changing gender roles for fathers, doing more housework and childcare. Participating in activities and spending time with children can increase the emotional connection between the two parties, and establish a strong relationship built on trust, honesty, and (most importantly) reciprocal love.
Typically in Korean dramas and sometimes in real life, the father-son relationship is portrayed to be a more awkward relationship whereas the father-daughter relationship is portrayed to be more important. In the Korean society there are moments which a father is considered needed for the daughter (wedding and etc.). It is also understandable why Dong-il is so worried by his diagnosis (other than the fact that he could potentially die). Life of single mothers in South Korea is normally difficult compared to other OECD countries like Canada. This article tells us the difficulty of single parenting in South Korea (Read the section on “penalties for single parents”) https://www.reuters.com/article/us-southkorea-economy-policy-familyplann/conservative-south-korea-backs-unwed-couples-single-parents-to-lift-birth-rate-idUSKBN0TZ03I20151216.
Furthermore, In my opinion, I think the father-daughter relationship in South Korea is different than that of other countries. In my opinion, the parent’s role in children for Western nations tends to weaken after the child goes to college or becomes an adult. Furthermore, many children move out after graduating high school. However, in South Korea, the parent-child bond to continue on past after high school. Parents normally fund their children for college and until the child finds a secure job. This is likely another reason why Dong-il is concerned about Si-won. He could feel that his daughter will be left behind compared to other students as he is the only one with an income for the family.
Thank you for your post Dohee-I agree we get to see a surprisingly emotional connection between Dong-il and Si-won unlike the last episodes. In response to the question of this being a universal bond I would disagree. Relationships and family are complicated and there are many instances where a father and daughter/son are not caring for each other or not on speaking terms. Dong-Il and Is-wons relationships does seem to correlate to Dong-il being a coach and having tough reputation. He seems unwilling to be weak or vulnerable by showing his love so its more of a tough love attitude he shows. This episode shows us how much he does care for his daughter, even though he is not good at showing it.
Dong-il fits the stereotype of a hard tough guy and one who is not afraid to cut his daughters hair or issues discipline, yet he does have a big heart for her and cares deeply about her. I think in western culture there are quite a few dads who fit into this. Coming from western culture in the US I have quite a few friends with dads who show tough love, or rarely give compliments. Perhaps the real debate is whether tough love is good or negative as you could feel more isolation. On the other hand it could teach your child to be more independent, and to stand up for themselves more.
Some links on “tough love” http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2101786/My-soft-parenting-monsters-children.html
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jon-carras/tough-love-is-tough-on-parents-too_b_5839056.html
Si-won’s naivety is shown when she selfishly sends a letter to the radio lying that her father was diagnosed with cancer to win a pair of jeans. At the end, her lie becomes a reality. Due to his diagnosis of cancer, we see Dong-Il’s deep emotions revealed, especially regarding his worries and guilt about not being their for Si-won in the future. At the same time, we see Si-Won breaking down and embracing her father. Before this event, Dong-il and Si-Won seldom expressed their affections towards each other vocally. This episode is perhaps was encouraging Korean father and daughters to examine their relationship with each other. The majority of fathers in Korea, especially those belonging to the older generation, are stoic and emotionally distant from their children. Their way of showing love is usually through discipline. To make matters worse, due to heavy work hours, Korean fathers spend only an average of 6 minutes a day with their child (OCED report). 6 minutes a day is awfully a short time and these 6 minutes may be minutes that pass by without much talking, awkward silences, or even fighting. It should come as no surprise that many kids see their fathers as a money making machine than a loving parental figure.
As Kelly mentioned, I feel like Korea’s reality TV shows like The Return of Superman are big catalysts to changing parental roles in society. Fathers who assume the identity of “ddal babo” or “daughter idiot” are valued over stoic fathers. Such reality shows, I hope, encourage men to become more involved in their kid’s life.
This cartoon of child asking her father “So we gonna play?” and the father looking exceptionally confused, illustrate how fathers in Korea spend very little time with their kids.
Thank you for your post Dohee, the relationship between father and daughter was particularly prominent in this episode. This episode was noteworthy for me and I imagine for many others because we got to see a softer side of Dong-il. Until now, he was portrayed as a scarier and more distant figure in comparison with the mother. Like how Ashley and Kelly commented, shows like The Return of Superman and moments like this in the drama do push a different sort of narrative than which is seen in others.
Your second question led me to think more about academic pressure and how it was something that the drama constantly alluded to. I discovered an article from Al Jazeera that reported over 200,000 South Korean youths run away from their homes every year. Around 50 percent of surveyed runaways left home because of conflicts with parents and around 30 percent for reasons relating to academics. While the drama shows an instance of two loving parents and their daughter, the reality seems to be that there are many unfortunate others that do not receive/feel love or simply cannot cope with school. It seems that the relationship between Dong-il and Shi-won may be distinct in South Korea in light of this.
Chang, Jennifer. “South Korea’s runaway teen prostitution.” Al Jazeera. November 12, 2012. http://www.aljazeera.com/indepth/features/2012/11/2012111263348392255.html.
Dohee- nice job. And you know, I hadn’t noticed that the surgeon is the guy who hit the car.
Kelly– good job
규훈, another great educational post. When I first got to Korea I was so shocked that all kids thought it normal for their parents to pay for college, and even their life until marriage.
연실, great / depressing comment
예찬, you apparently also want to depress me. If I had those statistics last week when I played 서태지’s “Come Back Home” for my students, I could have cited them.
oops. forgot to mention, good job Alex.
Navneet? Zifeng?
Thanks for the post Dohee. As I watched through the different scenes of the episode, it felt more and more apparent how the father-daughter relationship matured between Si-won and Dong-il. To me, this felt like one of the great turning points in both their lives as they both realized how much they’d miss each other if one of them was gone from their lives forever. Moreover, I felt that the scenes leading up to the unveiling of this newly matured relationship really captivated me; especially the scene of Dong-il in the church before his surgery. By bringing it in within the crux of the moment, I felt that the show’s pace was paused so as to let the audience sympathize with Dong-il’s worries regarding Si-won, and quite possibly reveal a different and deeper side to Dong-il that the audience would appreciate.
I personally feel that the father-daughter relationship in Reply 1997 is a perfect way to introduce a foil to the main character Si-won. Much like many foil characters within plots, the foil character (Dong-il) has a lot of contrasting ideals that skew the dynamics of relationships since they normally conflict with the main character. Furthermore, in the setting of South Korean fathers being the emotionally distant and hardworking father figures, this episode brings in a different perspective that drives the interesting narrative of a soft-hearted and loving father underneath the strict and adamant facade. In a sense, the media is now propagating this notion of a loving father figure to the point that nowadays Korean fathers are attending ‘father school’ to learn how to display more affection to their children. While this may be unfamiliar to many fathers in the past, I feel that this is a step in the right direction for the upbringing of children in South Korea.
Narula, Svati Kirsten. “Korean dads go to “father school” to learn how to hug their kids.” Quartz. October 30, 2015. Accessed October 14, 2017. https://qz.com/537098/korean-dads-go-to-father-school-to-learn-how-to-hug-their-kids/.
Noted.
Shi-Won’s radio contest entry turns out to be true when her dad is diagnosed with cancer. It was interesting to see a caring and mature side of Shi-won. She apologized to her dad while not being able to contain her tears. They both express their deep affection for each other. The audience is given a flashback when Dong-il was in the chapel, as he is wheeled down the hallway. Dong-Il thinks that Shi-won won’t get into a great college, so he wants to take care of her. Eventually he pleads to be alive until the moment he can walk Shi-won down the aisle. As Dr. Saeji mentioned in her lecture, Korean parents would normally have a dependent child who they will support financially until they graduate university and find a stable job. Korean fathers will rarely rest at home or won’t live in the same house for the growth and development of the family especially the child. Some fathers will spend their entire income for their child’s education and they turn into more of an ineffective father figure. Dr. Saeji also introduced the terms goose, penguin, and eagle dads.
기러기 아빠 (goose dad)- Dad works in Korea, and mom and children live closer to the institution for child’s education. The father must travel a great distance to meet his family.
펭귄 아빠 (penguin dad)- Father who is unable to travel and can’t afford frequent visits.
독수리 아빠 (eagle dad)- Father who earns a lot of money and can watch over his family.
Later, we see Shi-won’s mom passing a notebook to her, saying that her dad doesn’t want anyone to hit his daughter. When she opens her notebook, we see that Dong-Il did all her remaining homework. This gives us a sense that Korean fathers really love and care for their children even though they don’t vocally express their appreciation. It also shows that they don’t want their children to fall behind. This is the reason Dong-Il constantly criticizes Shi-won. This situation portrayed in this episode effectively encouraged the awareness of a father’s valuable role in Shi-won’s mind.
A survey finds that South Korean children spend only six minutes a day with their dads: http://english.hani.co.kr/arti/english_edition/e_national/713641.html
School teaching fathers ‘how to hug’:https://www.pri.org/stories/2015-10-28/school-teaches-korean-dads-how-hug
http://www.neonbutmore.com/role-dad-korean-family/
Noted.
Other group members have brought up that Shi-Won and her father’s relationship might not necessarily be representative of most South Korean families (considering the number of children that run away due to pressures put on by parents etc). Maybe this relationship is just for the sake of this drama’s plot. I think that although Shi-Won and her dad fought often before his diagnosis it doesn’t necessarily mean that they weren’t close before. On the contrary, I think their kind of fighting was similar to the mother and father’s kind of fighting: they fought but still love each other in the end. I think both Shi-Won and her dad knew that despite their fights they meant a lot to each other, otherwise I don’t think their most honest moments wouldn’t even have been possible.