This episode starts with the showcasing of the big family picture of Shi-won and Yoon-Jae. The episode then flashbacks to the teenage years of their parents showing the events that lead them to marriage. Back to the present, Dong-Il jumps back at the sight of Shi-won in her new S.E.S. hairstyle which leads to the argument of disagreement. Later in the episode, there is big news story about a popular website called I Like School that connects students and alumni to each other, invented by Tae-woong. He is announced to be the next big thing who is worth billions. Tae-woong and Shi-won got out for dinner together and buys a matching couple set cell phone. He then takes her to his new office eventually asking her to date him and Shi-won agrees. There is a switch around of the Yoon-jae’s and the girl’s puppies, but they ended up taking home their rightful puppies after all. Later in the episode Shi-won jumps on Yoon-jae’s back thanking him for finding Tae-woong’s envelope. Yoon-jae snaps that she shouldn’t act this way because Tae-woong wouldn’t like it.
In this episode we see the deep-rooted relationship between Shi-won’s and Yoon-jae’s families. Korean youth usually don’t interact with their friends’ families since they mostly hang out with their friends outside instead of their own house. We can discuss about Korean family relationships with other families and what is the convincing level of intensity is required to form a relationship in Korean society like the one portrayed in this episode?
While the two families gather together for the picture, the parents predict that they might end up being in-laws since they both have two sons and daughters. The old Korean family system involved parents arranging marriages without the consent of their children. Is this system still persistent in the modern Korean society?
Shi-won alters her looks under the influence of S.E.S. which her dad is disgruntled about. What incidents and customs caused Dong-il to disapprove Shi-won’s changing appearance? Did other parents and children in Korean society faced similar circumstances in the late 1900s and early 2000s? Is this situation rigid in today’s Korean society?
Navneet Aulakh
In my opinion, I would have to say that arranged marriages in the formal sense of the word (in which people meet for the first time and then have to marry) have largely disappeared from Korean society. In the earlier times, such as in the case of my grandparents, I would say that it was more prevalent. I know that their marriage was one that was arranged by their parents. Though I am basing this more on my personal opinion, I think that it was like this because marriage in the past had a stronger sense of it being a sort of union between two families (and as a result, needed much more management) than the way marriage is viewed in these days.
These days, while parents may have a part in introducing their children to one another, the choice of a courtship is ultimately not in their hands. Aren’t there a countless number of dramas where a couple gets married despite the large familial pressure to not? Love has become much more important and marriage has become intensely focused on the couple than as an avenue for the family to secure a sort of social and financial advancement.
Yet there are exceptions to the norm. For instance, it is different in the case of international marriages, where (as Dr. Saeji pointed out in class) single men largely in the countryside have little prospects for marriage due to women being in the cities, thus creating a need. However, on the whole I would say that the system of arranged marriages has been removed.
Sources:
Kubo, Angela Erika. “South Korea Tightens Rules on International Marriages.” The Diplomat. February 13, 2014. https://thediplomat.com/2014/02/south-korea-tightens-rules-on-international-marriages/
Cho, Jinsu. “As Second Generation Puts Off Marriage, Korean Parents Worry.” Showcasing the best of the community and ethnic media. August 3, 2012. https://voicesofny.org/2012/08/as-second-generation-puts-off-marriage-korean-parents-worry/
Personally, I think that although having friends over in their house is not as common in Korea compared to the Western society, interactions between friends and families is higher in Korea than in other countries I have visited or lived in. In Korea there are pre school, elementary school, middle school, high school, and university reunions which do not really exist in western countries. Furthermore, before social media websites like Facebook existed I feel that in Canada, if a friend moves to a different country or province etc. they do not contact each other and make new friends at their new location. However, in Korea despite moving, people still remain contact frequently. Lastly, although in the metropolitan areas like Seoul or Busan the extremely close relationship portrayed in the episode is likely untrue, however, in the countryside most families treat locals like family as well.
As for parents arranging marriages, it does not exist in Korea as much as in did previously. However, a more recent trend is marriages through professional matching companies. The companies tend to place you in a specific class (hierarchy) and match you with someone in the same class. This is a controversial topic in South Korea because of the emphasis they place on wealth as well as the status rather than personality and other factors that may result in a better marriage. This is an example from YTN of a ranking system http://news.joins.com/article/21156749. Simply, the article shows that Prosectors, Judge, 김앤장 Lawyer, Doctor and Foreign Company Employee are higher ranked among males and ranking of females tend to be focused on their parent’s wealth and status rather than their own. Nevertheless, like Sean said it is as common to marry someone that you met on your own like classmates, through friends etc.
“If our parents take our side, we forgive them for oppressing us and for all the violence they have done to us. But if they continue dismissing our sensibilities and encroaching on our freedom to fly high like birds, we will not negotiate with them.” -Mimesis Group 1993 (Cho 2017).
This quote reminds me of Si-won’s attitude she has towards her father who constantly berates her of her self expression whether that is through the way she dresses or her love for H.O.T. As mentioned in one of my previous comments, Korea was transitioning into a democratic society and one of the results of this was the birth of the “New Generation.” According to Cho (2017), the youth of the New Generation separated themselves with baggy pants, dyed hair, body piercing in order to set themselves apart from the cultural norms imposed upon them. Another form of self expression was the formation of fan clubs for their favourite bands, pop singers, TV stars, to groups more political in nature. Dong-Il represents the traditional and conservative generation while Si-won represents the emerging energetic New Generation. The scene where Dong-Il criticizes Si-won’s fashion reflects how these two generation were in conflict with each other due to different historical upbringing. Dong-Il’s generation called these kids “rebellious” and trouble makers that made teachers lose control of their classes. On the other hand, Si-won’s generation wanted to disconnect themselves from the lifestyle of their parents, which focused on work and valued enjoyment less.
Cho, Jaejoan and Jeffrey Stark. “South Korean Youth across Three Decades.” In the Routledge
Handbook of Korean Culture and Society, edited by Youna Kim,119-133. New York: Routledge, 2017.
Thanks for the post, Navneet!
Your question about arranged marriages in South Korea is both stimulating and intriguing to me because I personally believe it is no longer a prominent or common trajectory in contemporary Korea. I am aware of a colloquial term called “um-chin-ah” (엄친아) which basically translates to “mother’s friend’s son”. It is a comparative term that represents mothers’ ideal image of a son (compared to their own) and/or the ideal son-in-law they would want for their daughters. However, I’ve never really considered the prominency of arranged marriage and whether it is generally followed through are not.
In the late 1800s, marriage brokers were employed to arrange marriages, and these marriages were rarely based on attraction or love, but means to social mobility for the daughter’s family (1). As time went on, these practices were prominent only in ancestral villages, and became less practiced as a whole throughout Korea’s rapid economic development and modernization. As feminist studies and discourses begin to bleed into many societies across the world, it will be difficult (for me, at least) to accept that women are still subjected to arranged marriages for the sake of higher social mobility and capital.
I reckon parental influence in dating and marriage for Korean youths nowadays is still very common, urging to daughters and sons to marry somebody of same ethnic/racial, religious, or class background; better yet, marrying somebody of higher social class. However, actual arranged marriage may be scarce, considering that marriage in general is at an all-time low since 1974 (2).
I don’t think Yun-je and Shi-won’s parents are necessarily implying arranged marriage, considering Seong-ju and Tae-woong were a couple.
(1) Neff, Robert. “Arranged Marriages in Korea’s Past.” 10 Magazine Korea. March 18, 2014. https://www.10mag.com/arranged-marriages-in-koreas-past/.
(2)Noh, Hyun-woong. ” Number of marriages in South Korea hits lowest point since 1974.” The Hankyoreh. March 26, 2017. http://english.hani.co.kr/arti/english_edition/e_national/788003.html.
Since no one has brought it up yet, I would like to talk about the character Tae-woong and his resemblance to Ahn Cheol-soo. Although the producer did not outright confirm that the character was modeled after Ahn Cheol-soo, he acknowledged many similarities between them. To list a few: both their fathers were in the military, they both grew up in Busan, they both taught students, they established their own venture company which were highly successful, and finally they both tried for the 2012 presidential election. Producer Shin had stated in his interview that he had hoped someone like Tae-woong would be elected as president—upright and sacrificial to the people yet smart. If people were able to recognize the resemblances between Tae-woong and Ahn Cheol-soo, could this have influenced the 2012 presidential election (since this series aired from 2012.07.24. to 2012.09.18 which was before the election date, 2012.12.19)?
Another reason I bring this character up is because he portrayed youths of that time (after the IMF crisis). As discussed in class and by how Song (2007) categorizes them, the youths were the ‘new intellectuals’ and the ‘creative cultural capital’. After the IMF crisis, youths had a better opportunity to start their own companies and be creative with their ideas because the society no longer viewed individual-centered aspirations and political spaces to be selfish or destructive as it had been in the past. Which in this case, Tae-woong would fit perfectly into this category because he began his own venture company.
Song, Jesook. 2007. “‘Venture Companies,’ ‘Flexible Labor,’ and the ‘New Intellectual’: The Neoliberal Construction of Underemployed Youth in South Korea.” Journal of Youth Studies 10 (3): 331-351.
Kim, Mi-kyung and Han-hyung Lee. “응답하라’ 신원호PD “송종호, 안철수 모티브 했냐고?”(인터뷰) [Reply’s Shin Won-ho producer “Is Song Jong-ho’s character based on Ahn Cheol-soo?” (interview)].” Newsen. 2012, August 28. http://www.newsen.com/news_view.php?uid=201208271824050610.
Thanks for the post, Navneet!
In response to one of your questions about Si-won’s change in appearance, the topic of Korean beauty standards could be derived; whereby in the ever-changing phases of Hallyu, the trends and standards become unpredictable.
During the scene, Si-won is seen to attempt in surprising both her father and Yun-je with her newfound appearance (and to some extent, confidence) which to no surprise resulted in a disappointed look from the both of them. While the disapproval could be justified through the culture of those living in 1997, the same disapproval that youth and later stages of adulthood face in the 21st century is likewise justified with Korean beauty standards that Hallyu has consequently popularized.
As a country that has prided themselves to being “one”, the scene of Si-won further elaborates on the youths’ attempts at trying to fit within “one”. An article I read clinically summarizes the basic features that highlight contemporary Korean beauty standards: large eyes, straight, small nose, V-shaped jawline, and poreless, porcelain skin. However, that only applies to the face which constitutes to only a portion of one’s entire image. As a result, complemented by the prominent presence of Hallyu in our current society, Korean beauty standards has influenced many parts of Asia, bringing forth a new age of makeup and fashion design.
Shim, Sabrina. “What it’s like growing up with korean beauty ideals.” I-d. May 26, 2016. Accessed October 29, 2017. https://i-d.vice.com/en_us/article/qv85g3/what-its-like-growing-up-with-korean-beauty-ideals.
Good write up I will answer some of the questions posed in the post below. As far as arranged marriages in Korea go, they are not as common as compared to areas like China and India in modern times. It seems it depends however as Philipinos have migrated and had arranged marriages to Koreans.
http://news.abs-cbn.com/global-filipino/11/07/11/exploring-realities-korean-filipino-marriages
The whole idea of parents arranging the marriages seems to be more and more rare.
In addition more and more Koreans are getting married later, or becoming ok with not getting married, which is a drastic change to their parents social norms.
https://www.koreabang.com/2015/stories/number-of-koreans-saying-no-to-marriage-quickly-rising.html
Dong-il is the hard headed coach who disciplines his kids with an iron fist. Of course he is conservative and does not approve of his daughters hairstyle. These days younger kids are growing up with families who do not understand a rapidly changed Korean youth culture. In addition young Koreans struggle to be happy, and if Si-won is happy idolizing K-pop fashion, it’s much better than the alternative a depressed daughter.
http://www.intheforefront.org/why-young-south-koreans-struggle-to-be-happy-the-ominous-intersections-of-traditional-culture-and-modern-development/
Navneet, great introduction to the episode and good questions. Yes, parents are still involved in helping or even choosing spouses for their children. 예찬 (Sean) is right in that they aren’t blind marriages totally set up by parents– but even my best Korean GF currently can’t marry her boyfriend, and her mom even attempted suicide to get her to stop seeing him. It’s totally a K-drama. The guy is not from an elite family, my friend is. Her parents expect her to marry a guy from an equivalent-status family and job. They’ll let her pick the guy, but only if he meets their expectations.
Edward 규훈 also brings up a good point- agencies.
연실, good job, and nice bringing in that recent publication.^^
Kelly nice job– bringing more historical complexity
*loving how this group is staying with a theme here in the discussion*
Dohee, great job. Ahn Cheolsu (even the stupid hair) is obv. the model here, but he dropped out of the running in 2012, leaving Mun Jaein to contest with Park Geunhye and not splitting the vote. Thanks for bringing in more ac literature, too.
Raymond, nice comment
Alex, your comment feels disconnected from the blog/episode. Also please note correct citation styles as modeled by others in your group.