I actually quite liked this novel and I think it has a lot of things to unpack! For some reason, it was one of the reads that really got me comfy (I’m talking about a cup of tea, snuggled into bed, the whole combo). Gradually over the course, I think I made time to read the (almost) weekly books whenever I had the chance to. However, for this novel, I actually ended up reading little by little before bed every night. So, I guess that is why I found it to be such a nice read.
Anyways, one of the things that stood out to me the most is the dynamic between the narrator, her son, and ex-husband. With the custody battle, personally, I feel like females tend to be more at a disadvantage? Not sure if that’s the most accurate word. Naturally, our society puts so much weight onto mother’s shoulders. Something I recall from another class is how when fathers take care of their children, they are seen as dedicated to their careers AND their family. On the other hand, when women take care of their children, it is almost always seen as expected and a sacrifice that is made without any “special” recognition.
A quote that I would like to highlight is “incest had never occurred to me. It’s such a rich crime, the basis of so many things, in mythology, in psychoanalysis, in literature, it’s the foundation, the order of the world, of families, of civilization, the great taboo. It’s got quite a ring to it, incest. A real man’s crime” (21). I am unsure if I am taking it too far but my question for this week would be: What does the author mean by “a rich crime”? Is it the idea that only people who have it all consider partaking in this crime? Especially since they are the ones that have nothing to lose?
Another part I would like to talk about is “she says she’s always like this at first, then it gets better, “once the relationship’s more stable”” (140). In one of the relationship courses I am in, we covered the concept of disillusionment this week, sort of perfect timing if you ask me. Anyways, it embodies destiny beliefs where people think certain things such as if you get married, our conflict will be resolved. Overall, these are some of the thoughts that I had while reading and what I was reminded of.
2 replies on “Debré – Custody and Social Roles”
lol what a great question for 2026, given Epstein and rich people having sex with underage kids, i’d have to say yes, incest and sex with kids is a rich person’s crime.
i think however that all the data shows that for custody, men are treated worse by the justice system than women. this was the first hit on google https://alienatedparents.org/gender-bias-in-family-court-why-fathers-face-disadvantages-simply-for-being-men/
“Anyways, it embodies destiny beliefs where people think certain things such as if you get married, our conflict will be resolved.”I take this idea of embodiment from here. In fact, what Debré does is question, through the use of her body, the beliefs about what motherhood should be. In other words, she radically discards expectations: it is ultimately a desembodiment in order to make the societal conflict more visible.