This is the first novel that I have a physical copy of and the feeling of holding a book and flipping through the pages was so different compared to scrolling through the pages on a computer, so I was looking forward to reading this novel. This week I chose to read The Time of the Doves. This novel takes place during the Spanish Civil War and it shows how the main character, Natalia, had to struggle throughout this challenging time.
“I had two mouths to feed and nothing to put in them.” (134) was such a heartbreaking line to read, it must be one of every parent’s worst nightmares, to not be able to provide for their children. Along with Natalia having to place her son into a camp “for refugee children” (139) so he wouldn’t starve despite her own desire of wishing she didn’t have to leave him. But her desire for Antoni to have his basic needs fulfilled was stronger. Even when he was begging her “not to leave him” (136), she “had to harden [her] heart and push him away” (136) for his own sake. It must have been difficult for Natalia to not give in to her son who was crying and begging to stay with her, but she had to be the level-headed person. Her son was still a child, young, and naive, unaware of the necessary but difficult decisions that must be made for the sake of his health. However, Natalia who is an adult, a mother, doesn’t get the choice to be ignorant. She must be the one to not be blinded by her or his emotions, and make the logical decision. I can’t imagine how that must feel, especially when she looked back at him and Antoni had “stopped crying… his face was like an old man’s” (137). It was like within these few minutes, where Natalia had to run out with her daughter, Antoni suddenly stopped being a child. It was almost like he had grown within those few minutes, and he’s no longer young and naive anymore, as he came out of the camp as a “different boy” (139).
I was extremely shocked when one night when Natalia was lying with Antoni and Rita, she “decided to kill them” (145) and then herself due to being in poverty after her husband, Quimet had passed away in the war. Especially with her belief that “no one loved them” (146), which is once again, another heartbreaking line. However, thankfully a grocer, who ironically had the same name as her son, had saved her and her children by giving her a job and was also a man she ended up marrying. Eventually Natalia “returned to life… [her] children stopped looking like skeletons” (158).
A question I have for my classmates is, were you surprised when Natalia had a plan to kill her own children and herself? Did you think her plan was too extreme or did it make sense due to her challenging situation? What would you have chosen to do?
Thanks for your thoughts, and your question, Tiffany! The question of Natalia’s (contemplated and attempted? – at what point do we draw the line between her efforts to procure materials being an attempt or not?) maternal filicide seems to a hot topic, and I have added your question to the list of possible discussion topics for Tuesday’s class.
Hi Tiffany! To answer your question, although discovering Natalia’s plan was truly shocking, I think it was difficult for me to pass judgment on her. The desperation she must have been experiencing (as a result of the war and extreme poverty) is wholly responsible for that thought even crossing her mind. I can’t imagine as a mother feeling like death was a better option for my children than the life they were currently living. It’s easy for me to say that the thought of doing that is so horrible it wouldn’t even cross my mind, I think it’s impossible to say that without being in a situation as desperate as Natalia.
-Mackenzie Dewar-Pratt.
Hey Mackenzie, I fully agree with you. I feel that it is difficult for us to judge her decision without having experienced feeling so lost, desperate, and alone. I think it’s too easy for us to say that we could never kill our children, but to be not only suffering by yourself but to watch your children suffer is likely more painful than the idea of ceasing to exist.
To Tiffany, I really enjoyed reading this blog post and your question is one that seems straightforward until we really examine it, which is awesome. I also feel that religion and beliefs play a role in this. As an Athiest that feels there is nothing after death (maybe a bit nihilistic too), I feel that I would have done the same thing in her situation if that would stop the suffering. I am unable to speak for those who believe in God, an afterlife, being reborn as an animal, etc., but I think that whether one thinks suicide and killing (despite the other person suffering) is morally wrong will impact their decision. That being said, I wonder if this is comparable to what we often do with pets: putting them down to end their suffering. This of course leads us to ask whether a human life is more valuable than another animal’s life.
Hi Tiffany! Thank you for your blog, I enjoyed reading it! To answer your question, the decision Natalia made was surprising for me. I dont believe the decision was too extreme because the situation must be super challenging to the point of a mother thinking of killing herself and her kids.
Hi Tiffany!! I enjoyed reading your blog post. Especially as I did not read this novel, so I came here to learn a little more about it! You did a great job capturing it within this post! I am very surprised to read that fatal ending of the book, not expected at all. TO answer your question, just from your post I was very surprised!
Thanks,
Sadie