I went to this dinner party today because a girl’s parents are visiting her from the US and were kind enough to make like 20 people dinner! How nice. Anyways, in this conversation I was having with this belgium dude he sort of reminded of why I am here, and how lately I have forgotten why I am here:  to learn spanish. I am here to go to bed at night with my head hurting from practicing spanish so much. I am here to be vulnerable andd being okay with feeling stupid, not understanding everything. Being here, I’ve realized I HATE feeling stupid. I don’t mind looking silly infront of people, or curious to learn more. But I have realized I do not like feeling and looking stupid. And this is something that naturally happens when you’re learning a new language. Because you’re learning! So instead of gritting my teeth and digging my heels in, I end up talking in english so that I can be understood. So it is clear to myself and others that I am able to communicate my ideas. I avoid conversations with Mexicans at school in spanish. Because I hate not understanding! But c’mon, how am I going to learn without that yucky feeling of inadecey? I can’t grow from a comfort zone. And I feel like right now, I am getting w-a-y too comfortable here.

So yeah. Quick midnight thoughts.

But don’t worry, you don’t have to wait two weeks until my next post, I won’t count this as a full post. There is one coming up in the next week I promise:)