Día de Muertos (Day of the Dead), and dealing with dissapointment

I would like to say before you start reading: this is a nice song to listen to in the background that is kind of beautiful and spooky and about ghosts and people returning.

This past weekend was one of the weekends I have looked most forward to since hearing descriptions of it from Spanish teachers in high school. Is was one of the few things I knew about Mexico before arriving, and that is Day of the Dead, or Día de Muertos.

Día de Muertos is a celebration that takes place in Mexico on November 1st and 2nd. It is similar, I think, to “obon” in Japan where it is said that family members who have passed on come back to eat, drink, and spend time with family members who are still on earth. All over Mexico, family members and friends spend this evening and night hanging out at the graves of loved ones, oftentimes singing/drinking/eating and taking time to remember them.

Originally a celebration with Indigenous roots, it used to take place at the beginning of summer before Spanish colonization. However, it was was moved to the current day in order to coincide with the Catholic celebration of what we now know as Halloween. Colonization 101 people.

There are a few things that are very symbolic and representative of this holiday:

1. Pan de Muerto: only sold in the few weeks before Day of the Dead. A sweet bread roll oftentimes flavored with cinnamon, chocolate or orange. Super delicious, soft and white. There is a bakery near my school who has offered to make me Pan de Muerto, post Día de Muertos! Woo!
2. Calaveras: skulllllllls. You have probably seen these before, and are pretty iconic with Día de Muertos. Everywhere they sell sugar and chocolate skills that can be eaten or given as small gifts. According to my school, these are  a way of teasing and making fun of death.
3. Along the same lines…La Catrina. There are figurines of her  everywhere too, and is a figurine of a skeleton woman. Many people paint their faces kind of Catrina style during this time of year, which you may have seen before. You can find Catrinas made of clay, sugar, glass everything! So many little souvenirs which embody her.
4. Cempasúchil: a bright orange flower. As you will see in the photos, these sort of marigolds/chrysanthemum  decorate graves and are seen everywhere during this time of year
5. The Altar: A lot of Mexican families build altars in their homes this time of year, decorated with a lot of the things mentioned above and pictures of the deceased to honour/celebrate/remember them.

 

So what did I do this really special weekend? I decided to go to Morelia and Pátzcuaro in the state of Michoacán. It seemed that everyone was telling me to go here and there were a lot of school groups planning trips here this weekend. Its considered to be one of the most popular places in all of Mexico to go this weekend.

I was struggling with the decision to join my friends to go, as I wasnt sure if I wanted to participate in something so huge. On the other hand however, it felt like I should try and see it if its sooo famous. In my gut, I knew I should try finding something smaller, more intimate. But in the end, I decided to go as it was the easiest choice (just join along those who were already going).

Not going into too much detail, it was a disaster. Maybe I am being dramatic. There were just hoards of people everywhere. Everything being sold to seemed kitchy, and aimed at tourists (which may or may not have been true). And we went with 10 people, which meant a lot of time spent on decision making, waiting for others, etc. Usually mild Mexican taxi drivers seemed snarly and trickster, and busses heading home were sold out. The look on the face of the girl who graciously allowed us to stay at our house…she thought there were only four of us coming….then 10 of us showed up at her door….. And to top it all off, we lost a friend in the crowd at 10pm on the Saturday. After waiting for us in the cold for 4.5 hours, he took a 6 hour journey back to Querétaro at 230 in the morning. So yeah, shitty.

I was feeling pretty shitty that it was a shitty trip. I had looked forward to this weekend so much, and was left with feelings of disappointment and frustration. At the cemetery we visited, it was strange to see so many strangers and tourists peering into the rituals and intimate spaces of people trying to connect with their passed-on family members. Was I expecting too much “authenticity”? Striving for a specific experience? Was I bringing in my own ideas of death which were affecting my judgment and thoughts on how people should act?

Whatever the answer is to those questions, I have accepted and come to terms with it. Because some experiences aren’t going to be not great Saki. Remember that you need crappy ones to remind you of the awesome ones too. Actually, this past weekend I took a day trip to Sierra Gorda (a biosphere reserve in the Northern part of our state) and it was GORGEOUS, spontaneous and fun. So, I guess you win lots, and lose some too 😛

 

**Note, some of these photos were not taken by me, but rather a friend with a sweet camera.