Gratitude and a deep post

Can I just take a minute to say my thanks?

It’s weird how you kind of re-asess stuff when big scary moments happen in your life. Two weeks ago, I got into a pretty bad car accident, and it’s a giant miracle that all of us came out the way we did. The five of us were in a rental car, on our way to a small ghost town called Real de Catorce. If you’ve ever seen the film “The Mexican” with Brad Pitt, you would recognize the town from this film. Well, actually I wouldn’t know as we never arrived and instead spent two days in the hospital. On the way, the driver of the car spaced out and we went off the road. After “waking up” once we hit the shoulder, he tried to correct and swerve back onto the highway. This took the car out of control and we rolled off the highway, doing several flips and turns until we stopped, upside down.

By some enormous stroke of something bigger than luck, the worst of the injuries was a broken collar bone on one friend, and 11 stitches to the head on another. Wow, looking at these pictures again now makes me feel really anxious and scared. But that’s not what this blog post is about! Post-accident, we are still dealing with different things in different ways, although I think overall we are doing okay.

The biggest thing I realized is that I am not super-human (I know guys, it was a big realization lol) and that humans are so incredibly fragile. I am thankful to the universe that in my lifetime, nothing bad such as death or permanent effects of body functions has occurred to me or my family. How do we go through life, with such fragile bodies, so constantly close to death and still survive out the other end? It’s so easy for things to happen, and we forget that so quickly. Even post-accident I do. I realize that not everyone is so lucky and I’m also blown away by the strength of people when bad things happens. Bad shit can really happen at any moment, how do people live their lives knowing that?

You know what, these next few paragraphs are going to be super cheesy and stuff, so…yeah. But I want to get it out there, I am still working on that whole thing of actions are stronger than words but here are some words anyways.

So thank you amazing body of Saki, that keeps me functioning everyday. For my strong legs, that move me to see so many different things in this world (up stairs and mountains I am especially thankful for, I like seeing the view from the top of things); my observant eyes that let me watch humans and the colours and beauty that surrounds me; my sometimes-clammy-sometimes-not hands that type out messages that keep me in touch with my friends and family,  my ears that allow me to hear the banda music playing on the local bus; my broad shoulders that let me carry heavy things on my back and makes me feel big and strong when I feel scared and small; my teeth and mouth and lips that taste all the bright explosive flavours that Mexico has to offer, and my big stomach that digests all that (even though I know it’s hard sometimes) ; my strong Japanese hair that let’s me express me my creativity and keeps on growing for me; my vocals chords that let me sing songs off key a bit but nonetheless I get to S-I-N-G, and finally, my fucking amazing brain and heart that keep all that functioning well.

 

My family, who, no matter what I do always look out for me. I am glad we are as close as we are, and that we can make jokes with each other/about eachother. I am so looking forward to all being back together again for the first time in years this August. まま, thank you for raising me to be a curious person about this world and teaching me to always remember to laugh. 子供の時、いつもお母さんから旅行の話を聞いていろんな場所に行きたくなった。I know saying things about how awesome-ly your parents raise you make you sound like “yeah, I am an awesome person” but fuck it my mom did a lot of good things okay??!! めぐみ, you are the strongest person I know, and you can get through anything that life throws out you while being still being sensitive to the needs of those around you. 大輔, the big bro that never has been too cool for his youngest sisters—thanks for always giving me advice while giving me the space to go for what I want (also thanks to Sonia too, for  letting me hang out with you too so much).     お父さん,  you’ve been there for us in the ways that you know how and you don’t always get the credit you deserve, ありがとう.

怒っても、笑っても、泣いても、私が変な日本語を使っても、最後は皆一緒。それがミーの人生の一番の安心。。。ありがとう。

 

The Mexican and exchange friends I’ve made here, and the friends from back home. Thanks for going along with my crazy ideas, or letting me go along with yours. My life would be colourless if not for all the moments that we’ve spent laughing too hard at silly things, learning or exploring together, or just sitting and chatting. For all the Mexicans friends who have shared their homes, food,knowledge, with me–thank you. You guys are so patient with my super weird spanish and strange questions (POR OR PARA WHICH ONE). You guys are part of what makes this place so special. Roomie, I am sorry I accidentally called you a whore in spanish and did not realize for like 3 days.

Thanks for the International programs office at UBC and Tec for their support. The people in the office here are amazing and work their butts off so that people here have a safe and good time. That’s so nice. Back home too, there are so many people working so that us exchange students have the best time possible. They support us, and want us to have a good time. I am grateful for that.

Mexico. Thanks for being you. For not trying to hide all the different Mexicos that exist, but instead creating levels of complexity that make it so interesting to be a part of. When people ask me what my favourite part of Mexico is, it’s hard to answer that question. I could say nature but part of why I love the nature here is because of the Mexican-ness of it—the $12 ziplining, the Mayan cave guide whose family has been guiding guests for five generations, the travelling on the back of an open truck to go see bird caves.   Some might say the people are the best part but that’s not so simple either–I  remember the lady who I buy veggies from at the market who gives me free fruit with my purchases, or the gate guards at my apartment who are friendly and remember our names, or the man who pulled a clean plastic bag out of nowhere when my juice own bag started leaking on the street,  or the taxi driver who gave me a ride back to school for free. I don’t want to remember the bus drivers that ignored me when I try to get on, or the police officer that hit my friend, or the corrupt government officials that treats their citizens like shit. So yeah, simple and easy Mexico is not. Strong, complex, surprising, beautiful? Definitely.

This list of gratitude can go on and on and on. Like I could do a shoutout to the guy in mysalsa class that’s always smiling even when I mess up, or the people who make the delicious pulque in my favourite bar downtown, or the dude who has the great loud voice when selling tamales in the neighborhood (TaMAAAAAAALes). It can go big, like to the universe, or small to the bacteria in my intestines that prevented me from getting diarrhea after I ate those sketchy tacos. Seriously I could go on and on. But bottom line what I want to say is that Shit, I am thankful to still be alive today and for my life and everything in it. So thanks, everyone. Everyone and everything.

#ifeelweirdafterwritingthis