“I don’t know where I’m going, but I’m on my way” – Carl Sagan
This blog is, and will continue to be, a written narrative of my journey during my time in Cape Town. Which is why the title, “Where I Am And Where I’m Going”, is so meaningful to me. Because I know where I am. That’s obvious. But I don’t know where I’m going. I don’t even have the slightest of idea. But I know I’m going there — wherever that may be — and I have time to thank (and hate) for that. Yes time… it is my greatest of adversaries, and my most trusted of allies.
Here’s the thing about time. It drags us along without asking. Time is indifferent to what we desire, to what we believe, and to what we hope. Time just goes. Sometimes, I’m thankful for time and the speed it brings. Indeed, time is a welcome friend during periods of struggle. Though, more often than not, it seems that time is actively rooting against me, as it pushes me away from periods of great happiness. And this is where I am now.
It seems like just yesterday that I arrived here. It seems like just yesterday I met all of my amazing friends. It seems like just yesterday I began my adventure in this whole new world. But it wasn’t yesterday. It was a long time ago. Even today, I find myself saying things like “there will be another time”, or “we can always go another time”. But now, nearly 3 months into my stay here in Cape Town, I find myself realizing that time is running out.
Just 70 more days.
And these are the struggles that I face now. To stay focussed on the present when the future beckons. To enjoy the moment when I must prepare for the future. To stay happy when the future is full of sadness.
Yes. It appears that time is no longer on my side. There’s nothing I can do to change that. This I know for certain. But what I’ve learned from my time here is important. And that is to worry less. Why should I worry about the unknown? Why should I give in to unnecessary thoughts about hypothetical times? The end is near. I know that. I just won’t let whatever time I have left here be in service of the unknown.
After all, it’s just like that sunset above. I can see an end to this beautiful light. And that makes me sad. But damn it, I’m going to squeeze as much joy as possible into what time I have left here. Before it’s too late.