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reminisce > regret

It’s kind of a challenge to think about some moments in my past and not inwardly groan. It is a lot easier for me to wish I did something better or made different decisions than to accept that those mistakes were meant to be made.

Facebook’s new timeline feature reminds me of all those tiny moments of happiness/excitement/betrayal/hurt/exhaustion/stress/persistence/depression that I made through to get to where I am today. I think of them all as learning moments now, reflecting back. But I still feel little leftovers of all those emotions attached to each notch on that timeline.

Until today I didn’t realize how much of my life I put onto the web. I think I knew, but I didn’t see how permanent it was. So many stories of my life, accessible to every single one of my Facebook friends. It’s pathetic, considering “facebook friend” usually means less than acquaintances. So many stories of friendships, broken friendships, naive relationships, unhealthy semesters….

I’m really happy with who I am today, so I can’t complain too much about all those moments that have taught me so much.

 

 

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“The day the child realizes that all adults are imperfect, he becomes an adolescent; the day he forgives them, he becomes an adult; the day he forgives himself, he becomes wise”— Alden Nowlan

Categories
College Personal Self Discovery

Trees, mountains, water.

This morning I woke up to a gold full moon, lying low on the horizon. Took the ferry across from Langdale to Horseshoe bay, and the got onto the bus as the sun rose. So peaceful. Last evening we hiked up Soames Hill and watched the sun set. On our right was a brilliant golden sun dipping behind the trees and mountains; on our left was a pale, almost translucent moon coming up. The forest trail down felt so safe. Comfortable. Familiar, though it was my first visit.

I’m going to miss the daily routine of the teacher’s life, which I got to experience the past few days. It felt so right. Stef and I went with her mom to work every day, and I got the opportunity to drop in on several different grades in the school. I felt exhausted at the end of each day, but wonderfully so. I know I definitely will love working in the field of education, with others who share my passion. I guess it’s something I’m really looking forward to, anyway. Two days ago we got to attend a teacher’s workshop, and there we had many insightful conversations with experienced teachers all over the coast. Right now, I get to look forward to my B.Ed program. Stef and I were talking about our (near?) future when we can attend teacher’s workshops together. It’s so meaningful to share our passion, especially since we were with each other in Uganda.

I love living in BC. Growing up in the city, I never got to experience the comforts of “BC Living”: surrounded by trees, mountainscapes, ocean bodies. I guess I get glimpses of the North Shore from various beaches and points in the city. It’s totally different being away from the city. I love it.

It was still really comforting to bus into downtown this morning– I am a city girl at heart. Pulling into UBC made me feel proud; I love this community of students, I feel at home here.

Categories
College Personal

softly commanding

There is a lot of satisfaction in commanding the attention of my students, not for myself, but for them as my students. I am not teaching to hear my voice. I want them to listen, because what I say is directed to guide them. I quiet my voice, acknowledge their points of distraction, and remind them that they are only in the class for an hour twice a week (they can be distracted so many other hours of the week).

The core of my teaching philosophy is that every student has the potential to do really well. I truly, honestly, passionately believe this. They just need a perfect balance of  diligence, patience, confidence, and humbleness within themselves. As a teacher, I try my best to recognize their individual sparks, or unique potentials, to facilitating a thoughtful learning environment by accommodating the different balances of each student. Every class is a different dynamic, and every lesson differs in mood. Every student learns differently according to those variables. My favourite part of my job is witnessing the learning that happens: in the lesson itself, as well as throughout a term. It’s so fulfilling to see a student rise up to their potential, and interesting to see how they do that in response/under influence from the different dynamics and moods of each lesson.

I am so looking forward to starting my B.Ed application. Education is so important, in my opinion.

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