To: Hannah Becker
From: Jasmin Senghera
Date: February 2nd, 2019
Subject: Peer Review of Formal Report Proposal
First Impressions: I have reviewed your formal report proposal pertaining to email efficiency at Meadow School. The recommended solution is very innovative, yet it still seems feasible within the context of the formal report. Additionally, the questions are very thorough and will definitely be beneficial for conducting the report. Your qualifications will also be an asset in this case. I see some room for improvement mainly in the introduction as it could use some more details. Also, I would address this proposal to the individual you are conducting this report for.
Organization: The organization of this proposal is commendable as it follows the proposal writing protocol very closely.
Introduction: The introduction is strong in the sense that it addresses the issue at hand, however it could use more background on the problem. For example you could provide details about the history of Meadow School, about the importance of emails in this institution, or about issues around emails in other places of work.
Statement of Problem: The implications of email inefficiency mentioned in this paragraph were very concise. Yet, this paragraph was a little hard to follow. The first sentence is quite long thus, I would recommend separating it into parts to be clearer. You could also provide an example of an employee and how their job is disrupted by these emails
Proposed Solution: The solution recommended is very succinct and it is explained in detail. Additionally, it seems very appropriate given the problem.
Scope: The questions proposed are very detailed and will be valuable in advancing your project.
Methods: The primary and secondary sources of information you have in mind appear to be very reliable. In terms of the surveys, an online tool could be used for employees to conduct them to ensure anonymity. In addition to these sources, I would recommend researching email management software programs or looking into studies on productivity in relation to email management.
Qualifications: Your qualifications look to be very apt for this report. It would be interesting to know a few more details about your experience in POLI 380.
Conclusion: The conclusion encompasses the main points of the proposal. However it could use some specifics to encourage reader acceptance. I would recommend talking about email inefficiency in relation to productivity. A sentence asking for permission to continue the research should also be included.
Grammar/Typos:
- In the introduction paragraph, the word them should be included in the second sentence as shown here “it gets in the way of them completing their work”
- In the proposed solutions paragraph, the word it should be included in the last sentence as shown here “the school should make it clear”
Concluding Comments: Overall this formal report proposal is very strong and has a lot of potential. The main areas of improvement are the introduction and statement of the problem. I hope that my recommendations prove to be helpful in completing this report. The main suggestions I have are:
- To add more background information in the introduction
- To change the sentence structure within the problem statement portion to be more understandable
- To expand on your experience in POLI 380
- To provide an aspect of reader acceptance in the conclusion
Enclosure: Hannah’s Formal Report Proposal
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