Peer Review of ‘You’ Attitude Memo for Madie Leroux

To:                   Madie Leroux

From:              Jasmin Senghera

Date:               March 3^rd, 2019

Subject:           Peer Review of Writing With “You” Attitude Memo

Thank you for your memorandum on writing with a “you” attitude. The guidelines you mentioned are thorough and provide useful information on writing emails in a professional context. Below are some suggestions.

First Impressions:

Based on an initial glance this memo is outstanding. A major strength of this proposal is the tips for writing emails to professors because they are concise and informative.

• One overall area of improvement would be focussing on ‘us’ throughout the body. This will prevent the reader from being singled out.

Organization:

The order throughout the memo is clear and consistent. The headings are bolded and correctly labelled.

Introduction:

The introduction is clear and successfully outlines the purpose of the memo.

Tips for Writing Emails to Professors:

The tips mentioned all clearly state how to write effective emails to professors. Moreover, these tips are relevant to the purpose of writing with a ‘you’ attitude.

• Focussing on ‘us’ instead of ‘you’ can be achieved by reducing ‘you’ words such as ‘your name’. This will ensure that the reader isn’t being blamed or insulted. Moreover, including a tip on how Evan can focus on positivity and courteousness in emails will be helpful

Conclusion:

The conclusion is strong as it includes adequate contact information in a friendly manner. The use of ‘you’ in this case is strong because it makes a good impression on the reader.

• Ending the memo with a personal message to Evan, such as congratulations for his soon to be graduation or a wish of luck on his email endeavours, will prevent the tone from being too formal. Additionally, thanking him for reading the memo will portray a sense of respect and courtesy.

Writing Style:

The style of writing adopted in this memo is appropriate given the context of writing with a ‘you’ attitude. There are no cases of imperative verbs or the word ‘you’ used in an insulting manner.

• As mentioned previously, ending the memo with a more personable message will ensure that the reader is appreciated and respected.

Grammar and Technical Errors:

Please refer to the following in regard to minor grammatical errors:

Tips for Writing Emails to Professors:

• Including the word ‘from’ in the first tip before the sentence ‘the school provided email account’
• Replacing ‘your name’ in the first tip to ‘our names’
• Removing the word ‘only’ in the third tip

Conclusion:

• Rephrasing the first part of the first sentence to ‘communicating effectively with..’

Overall, you have created a commendable memo on the best practices in writing to a professor that will be beneficial to university students. I hope my suggestions help you during your revision process. Please feel free to email me at jasmin.senghera@alumni.ubc.ca if you have any questions.

Enclosure: 

You Attitude Memo – Madeline Leroux