EMORANDUM
To: Cody Gagnon
From: Geneviève Bolduc
Date: August 5, 2020
Subject: Review of Formal Preposal
I have reviewed your proposal Remote Education and UBC’s Learning Management System: Recommendations for Improved Teaching and Learning. You provided a comprehensive report with relevant data and a clear course of action. Below is a list of recommendations to build on your good work.
First Impressions: The report is complete and the analysis is done in a smooth, readable fashion. The pagination is incorrect and could be revised to fit the expected model.
Content: The report was logically laid out and provided an in-depth data review of survey responses. The recommendation section of the report might benefit from some elaboration. The succinct list may benefit from a contextualization in terms of the resources needed to fulfill these recommendations or a general tie-in to the bigger picture.
- Introduction
- The introduction was effective in communicating the purpose of the project and the guiding questions.
- The Data Section
- The data section was very detailed. A couple items stood out. Big chunks of text should be avoided and could be made more succint. Moreover, visuals are incorrectly labelled. They should be in the text and not the appendix.
- Conclusion
- The report ends abruptly and could benefit from
Organization: The draft was effectively organized. The headings and subheadings accurately illustrated the subjects of the paragraphs. One section that may warrant extra attention is the “Least Helpful Feature” section. As this section is longer than the others, the summarizing paragraph can be removed and rather integrated in the summary of findings.
Style: The piece’s tone reflects a professional proposal. It comes across as objective and carefully curated. One passage that is a little more challenging to follow for someone who is familiar with Canvas is the following: “Two respondents suggested that a feature similar to Socrative could be added to Canvas to facilitate real-time quizzes, surveys, and polls during lectures.” Canvas, to the best of my understanding, offers (at least) polls in Collaborate Ultra. Perhaps an additional note on distinguishing this would aid with clarity. Moreover, the piece may warrant from a concrete positive you-attitude in the recommendations as this section should propel the readers into action.
Design: The information could benefit from a little breathing room. Additional spacing may help render the report digestible as well as a couple graphics to support the data outlined. Once these graphics are integrated, clear labelling will be important to integrate.
Overall, the fixes for the report pale in comparison to the successful report you have created. The report was well organized and communicated clear intent, data and trajectory. I hope my recommendations above will help with the finalization of the document. Do not hesitate to contact me for any clarification.