Sometimes I wonder why literature writers (or is it just the romance ones?) get so obsessed with the Oedipus complex and overall Freud’s theory. There must be something poetic or beautiful within the layers of uncomfortable incestuous relationships for these many writers to focus on it. Even though I started reading the book without any ideas in mind, the first paragraph almost gave it out that it was a book filled with Freudian ideologies. In fact, this was my first note in the online book.

Agostino by Alberto Moravia was by far the easiest read so far. And perhaps because it was an easy read, I enjoyed it a lot. Imagining the warm Italian summer in the beach tinted with a nostalgic yellow, I played the movie inside my mind while reading it. Among the themes portrayed in the novel, including the Oedipus complex, class differences, sexuality, adolescence, and even racism, I found myself more interested with the loss of innocence happening throughout. From a sheltered middle class life with his loving mother, to experiencing different situations like the brutality of the boys, the nauseating boat trip with the disgusting man with six fingers (I don’t know why I had to point that out, but it was an interesting concept!), and most significantly, the brothel, shaped his growth like none other. I wonder what would happen if he didn’t follow Berto that day, if he wasn’t exposed to the lives of the gang of boys. Would it just be another summer on the beach? Would his image of his mother stay the same or change from the relationship between her and the young man? We can already see the shift from seeing her mother as some sort of a godly creature to disgusting with ‘acrid, violent, animal warmth’ right after she spends more time with the man.

It is intriguing to read about adolescence in men, about the formation or ‘gang’ of boys and their vicious ways and the sensual yet uncomfortable relationship with his mom, inside his mind, as a woman who had the complete opposite experience growing up. All the literature I’m reading makes me question the thoughts men (the writers) have sometimes. One part of the boy’s innocence that stood out to me was his thoughts on prostitutes and sex work in general – the way he questions the idea of it with such innocence felt bittersweet to me, because we all know that as he ages, his mindset will be molded to be just like the others, changing from empathy to the workers to seeing them as objects, from going to the brothels out of curiosity to out of lust.

“The idea of the money he would pay in exchange for that shameful, forbidden sweetness seemed strange and cruel, like an insult, which might be pleasurable to the person who delivers it but is painful to the one who receives it.”

I mean, I think we can see it happening when he starts calling his mother ‘nothing more than a woman’, confusing with the idea of a maternal figure and a woman capable of desire and lust. It doesn’t help that his mother is such an attractive, single woman, carefree with her choice of clothing like see-through negligees. The way he describes his mother’s seemingly normal activities like taking her earrings off into slow, sensual activities makes it even more uncomfortable to read. The innocent love for his mother turned into a confusing mess of repulsion and attraction, which evidently shows his loss of childlike purity.

Let me open up the questions I had to you. My question is:

What do you think would’ve happened if he didn’t encounter the boys? Would there be another event like this, something that makes him lose his innocence nonetheless?

Moreover, did you have any experiences that was a start to your shell of innocence breaking apart during your childhood? It doesn’t have to be sexual. Mine was when my older cousin would force me to watch horror videos with jumpscares on Youtube, not to add to the unrestricted internet access I had. I turned out great!