The Lover – just no

The Lover by Marguerite Duras.

I cannot say I enjoyed reading this week’s novel as much as I thought I would. Maybe because it was confusing, with the change of perspectives and no clear chronological timeline throughout the novel but with different paragraphs mentioning different events or people in the girl’s life. One page would talk about her son and then the other about when she was fifteen, which was a bit confusing for me. In addition, I thought the younger brother she was talking about was the smallest child until like the last half of the book when she mentioned them being seventeen and eighteen, so I had to look at them from another perspective again.

For me, more than the relationship between the girl and the older Chinese man, I kept my focus more on the dynamics of her family, probably because the parts with the man was so hard to read that I had to take multiple breaks reading it TT. With a dead father and an abusive older brother, it was clear she had issues with the masculine figures in her life, leading to her perverse, weird relationship with an older man. But also about her mother, I could almost relate to her as I have two older brothers, the oldest of which is much much more loved by my mom. It reminded me of the love moms have for their sons, praising them for the smallest things, turning a blind eye to their misdoings because they’re their oh so perfect son. Anyways every character in the book was too depressing that it made it hard to enjoy the book as much!! As much as I love complex, intricate relationships and sad yet beautiful stories, this one was just a bit too much..

The relationship between the girl and the ‘Chinese man’ (which was emphasized a LOT throughout the novel, perhaps to highlight the racial differences as well as their class and age), was very disturbing yet complex. Because it was written from the girl’s perspective, their true actions and the way he is literally grooming her are blurry, leading us readers to think about and even doubt the man’s role in the relationship. It makes me think about how such sickening relationships can be almost seen as ‘acceptable’? just because of the different characteristics of the person in authority. He was less masculine than the average person and was not deemed as powerful because of his race as well as how he behaved. He was ‘scared’ a lot, trembled when he talked to her, which made her think she was the one in control, the object of infatuation. It kind of reminded me of the movie ‘Lolita’, even though I haven’t watched it I know that it is about a relationship between a little girl and an older man, and is discussed about to almost ‘fool’ other girls into thinking it was a love story when in fact it was not.

He’s twelve years older than I, and this scares him. I listen to the way he speaks, makes mistakes, makes love even—with a sort of theatricality at once contrived and sincere.”

Also I just found out that the author also wrote the script for ‘Hiroshima mon amour’, which is a french new-wave movie I’ve been wanting to watch for a long time!! There may lie similarities between the two pieces and I will be analyzing them!!

My question is:

Do you think ‘The Lover’ as a title was trying to define the girl or the man? Or does it have a different meaning?

8 thoughts on “The Lover – just no

  1. Indra, the narrator and time perspectives change and I was also confused at first. The family dynamics have a LOT to unpack for sure. I wish you had talked more about that, What specific moments made you think the older brother was more loved than her? I wonder f you think that the grooming is perhaps blurry because its a memory or because the girl doesn’t recognize it all. Does this make it more or less effective? 

    Thanks for your comment!
    – Tesi

  2. Hi Indra,

    I agree that this book was often a little confusing when it comes to the chronology of events, but I will say that it was an easier read than some of the other books that we read for this class. To answer your question I believe that the title is referring most likely to the Chinese man, as it was him that had feelings for the narrator and even came back later to reveal that more. For much of their relationship it seemed that the narrator was only interested in him for his money in my opinion.

  3. Hi Indra,

    Great post! I completely agree with not enjoying this week’s reading as much as I originally thought. The chronological order also confused me and the same with the artistic choice to change from first to third person. To answer your question, I think the title most likely referenced the man in this dynamic. Considering that a fair amount of the story was written in first person and the dynamic of the relationship gave him a lot of power in the story.

  4. Thanks for your post. I also found the time changes confusing, often having to reread the beginning of sections to understand what time period was being described. To answer the question you pose at the end of your post, I think the title was definitely referring to the man. The book ends with him confessing his sustained love for her, and we don’t even hear a response from her.

  5. Hey Indra, I completely agree with your post, I was not a fan of the book and thought it was a bit challenging, to answer you question I believe the titled reffered more to the man than the girl due to the nature of the relationship

  6. Hi Indra! I really enjoyed reading your post today. I think the books is morally grey and make us extremely uncomfortable for the reason that they cause uncertainty, as we discussed in lecture! I was also lost throughout most of the book, however, I think the writing style and stylistic choices made it a bit easier to find some sort of enjoyment through the discomfort.

  7. Hi Indra! I completely agree that the confusing time order of the events made the book very confusing to read, and I also thought that the younger brother was the younger than the narrator as well. To answer your question, I feel like “the lover” can be thought of both in terms of it referring to the Chinese man and also the narrator herself. The different ways of interpreting this book essentially leads to different perspectives of understanding this book. — May

  8. Hi, I think, the title was definitely referring to the man, I think the author was pointing to the person who changed her life in many ways and took her away from her old life

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *