introduction

For certain assignments, students were given the opportunity to peer review and learn from each other’s works. In my opinion, this was a very beneficial process as I was able to gain insights from reading over my peer’s works and simultaneously receive direct feedback for my own work. I constantly found myself catching mistakes on my work while marking others and learning from my peer’s writing style. This was one of the most enjoyable parts of the course for me and I will miss having the opportunities to learn from peer reviews after this course is over.

Please see below for the first completed peer review on the definitions assignment:

 

Assignment 1:3 – definitions assignment

To: Jordan Zhao, UBC ENGL301 Student
From: Johnathan Tam, UBC ENGL301 Student
Date: October 5, 2021
Subject: Review of Definitions Assignment 1:3 – Virtual Reality

Peer Review/ Term: “Virtual Reality” Definition

Thank you for submitting the definitions assignment for unit 1:3. This assignment provided an excellent definition on the term “virtual reality” and is a very informative and enjoyable read. Please see below for some suggestions to improve the assignment.

First Impressions:

The assignment looks like a very well-organized document with an introduction, clear headings for each definition form, vivid visuals labeled with captions, and a works cited list at the end.

Organization:

• The introduction is well-written with a good outline regarding the objective of the assignment along with a detailed description of the intended audience/ reading situation.
• Including a bolded header for the introduction, in a similar style to all the other headings in the document, will further improve the organization.
• The expansion strategies listed in parenthesis under the Expanded Definition header do not match all the headers in that section.
  • For example, etymology and examples are listed but are not put as headers.
• Including a conclusion at the end will help to properly wrap up the assignment and restate the main points of the definition for readers. Currently, the document ends a bit unexpectedly without further explanation.

Content:

• The assignment meets all requirements as it includes:
  • An introduction that outlines the objective, criteria, and intended audience
  • Three forms defining a relatively complex term
    • Parenthetical Definition
    • Sentence Definition
    • Expanded Definition
  • At least four types of expansion strategies
  • At least one visual
  • A works cited list in MLA style or APA style

Definitions:

• The parenthetical and sentence definition are concise, yet very informative, which helps with properly understanding the term.
• There are a good variety of expansion strategies used – however, sentence definition should not be listed as an expansion strategy as it is one of the three forms of definition used for this assignment.
• Technical jargons can be a bit challenging to read. It could be helpful to provide further explanation of these terms. For example:
  • “The technology from these headsets is shown in Figure 2, in which there are separate LCD screens that render its images for each eye.”
    • A parenthetical definition could be helpful here to explain what LCD stands for and what it means.
• Great in-depth research was conducted for the potential applications of virtual reality.
  • The use of virtual reality in healthcare and education is much more obscure compared to its use in entertainment.
• The explanation of how virtual reality works is a bit difficult to grasp. It would help if this paragraph could be simplified.

Visuals:

• The visuals are very informative and helped in further understanding virtual reality.
  • It was very interesting to see images of virtual reality equipment in the past and compare it to present day equipment.
• Visuals are properly cited.

Works Cited:

• A properly styled citation list that includes more than the required amount of outside references.

Grammar and Typos:

• There are a few comma errors in the document. For example:
  • “The common gear used to experience virtual reality can be seen in Figure 1 which is the typically used headset that creates the near reality experience.”
    • A comma is needed after Figure 1.
  • “Early research by Charles Wheatstone, demonstrated that the human brain could process two different two-dimensional images from eye into a single image of three-dimensions.”
    • A comma is not needed after Charles Wheatstone.
• Some sentences have small errors which made it a bit confusing to read. For example:
  • “Virtual reality is seen as a consumer product in this field and is leads itself as a product for user experience.”

Concluding Comments:

This definition assignment is well-organized, detailed, and enjoyable to read. By making the following changes, it can be further improved to become an excellent document:

• Adding a header for the introduction
• Including a conclusion to wrap up the document and summarize the main points
• Correcting the expansion strategies listed under the Expanded Definition header
• Providing further explanation for technical jargons
• Simplifying the explanation about how virtual reality works
• Double-checking for grammatical errors and typos

Thank you for a great definition on the term “virtual reality”. It was a pleasure to review this assignment. Please do not hesitate to ask any questions.