“very early in my life it was too late”.
I feel like that quote in itself really encapsulates the tone of the book very well- the moodiness of the book, to the writing style being a sort of recollections of instances in her life past but sort of looking at it sometimes as if from a third person kind of view? Either way, this writing style was very Lana del Rey of her. This book heavily emanates a sense of melancholic nostalgia to me.
My feelings for this book is a warped one to some degree. I have first heard of this book from another source in a book review- as I believe for one reason or another its been quite popular recently and sort of exists in the same literary canon as Lolita, Norwegian Wood, Breasts and eggs, as “modern classics” to read. So I did choose to read this book with some knowledge of what it would be about, and I sort of came to see this book outside the more academic context and saw it through the lens of “personal enjoyment” like a book you would pick up to read as a pass time. Which I feel like I can say now that this book does not suit those circumstances- pedophilia does not work as light reading.
On another note, this weeks shitty man award goes to the older brother of the book. I think that there’s enough shitty men in every single book so far that its probably worthwhile to hold a shitty man award by the end of the semester to see who can duke it out and win the title for the shittiest man of all. I wanted to beat the shit out of the older brother in this book really bad so I probably would vote for him as being the worst. And I feel like that says a lot when theres a literal pedophile in this book.
Now that I think about it, titling this book The Lover kind of feels like one sick joke. She states in the book that she doesn’t love him, and that his feelings of fear are too great to be love. So where exactly is the love in this book? Her family dynamics is also a big oof; I kept on sighing whenever they were mentioned. However, I guess I see more love in her relationship with her mother- she is after all just a girl obsessed with her own mothers unhappiness- as I would argue is often the case with eldest daughters in immigrant families.
My question to everyone this week is: out of all the shitty men this class has seen so far, which one do you think is the worst and why?
Hello, Kelly! Nice analysis of the book! I agree with your thoughts on the family dynamics of the protagonist. To answer your question I think that this older brother takes the cake for the shittiest man of the books we have read.
lol, I love the title! I think it’s hard to pick which guy is the worst, since we’re always seeing them from the POV of the female author, but I think the husband from time of the doves was the worst, only based off his actions and how he is described. It’s tough though, this guy sleeps with a child, but she describes him in such a way that it doesn’t feel like she went through as much torment as the narrator in time of the doves did. Although I feel this narrator was a lot more disconnected altogether, so i don’t know
– Dali Currie
**dalia
Kelly, you’re the second person to mention Lana! I can definitely see the memoire like nostalgia and the processing of difficult feelings/events. I’m glad you enjoyed it. Great pivot to family dynamics. I feel like there is so much to unpack there.
Thanks for your comment!
– Tesi
Hi Kelly!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on the book this week. I agree that there have been a lot of shitty men in a lot of the books we’ve read so far. All in all I think perhaps the worst one is the boat guy from Agostino (I forgot his name), as he gave me the worst feeling of uncomfortableness of all the characters so far.
Hi Kelly, loved your blog post!! The tile had me laughing so hard 🙂 To answer your question I would say André from Nadja was the worst character so far, in my opinion. Man was toxic as f*** and was basically enabling a mentally unstable women, who needed help.
Hi Kelly! I love how you pointed out the book being titled “the lover” seeming like a sick joke. I genuinely thought this would be another book of a girl being taken advantage of but I guess she doesnt, at least fully. To answer your question, till this day I still hate Breton. Something about men taking advantage of women when they are visibly suffering just hits me hard. He was also the only piece of shit that wasn’t fictional. Fuck Breton.
ALSO I ALSO MADE NOTIONS TO LANA DEL REY LOL! Fav Lana song asap!
Hi Kelly,
I like how you highlighted the complexity of the novel in the lines “She states in the book that she doesn’t love him, and that his feelings of fear are too great to be love. So where exactly is the love in this book?”. At first, I was also a bit confused about the nature of love in their relationship. I think while Duras wrote the novel, she was also still exploring her memory of the relationship with the man. Perhaps this also leaves readers to reflect and explore along with her.
– Janae
“out of all the shitty men this class has seen so far, which one do you think is the worst and why?”
I definitely think we should ask this question the last day of class… and maybe have a vote? Remind me if I forget!
Hi Kelly! Thank you for your thoughtful comments.
I was laughing so hard on your line “its probably worthwhile to hold a shitty man award by the end of the semester”. It would be so funny if we do this on the last day of semester!
I also like you mentioned “Lolita”, as we also talked briefly about it in the class. I think it is hard to directly compare the two, but still the book has some theme aligned with Lolita. Lolita was definitely written on a perspective of a man, Humbert. Thus it is definitely seen as a sexual violence.
Hi! Love the title and I agree, the writing style is soo Lana. I think that the worst man we have read about so far is definitely the husband in Time of The Doves. He treated her so shittily and he was so insecure when it came to other men and that manifested in a bad way. But I think the reason I hate him the most is the fact that it is that exact type of personality that often attracts women, luring them in with the fun and spontaneous side only to show the ugly later.
Hi Kelly! I really loved reading your insights on this weeks’ reading, it was definitely an interesting one for me and I’ve been eager to hear more people’s opinions! In response to your question, I honestly struggle to pick one, and definitely think I could write an essay about all of them, given how much resentment I’ve felt towards a lot of these male characters.