Monthly Archives: March 2024

Why are we reading fan fiction (The book of chameleons)

The book we are reading this week was most definitely chosen as a personal hate crime against me. Are you having a giggle prof. Beasley? are having a little laugh? Im certainly not laughing after reading this book. This book first started with a quote from Borges- that he would perhaps like to be reborn as something/someone else. I didn’t even think much of the quote- I was too terrified by his presence and the prospect of his stench latching onto this book. For those that don’t know, he actually kidnapped my mom drove over my cat beat my grandma up and held me at gunpoint to read his little book known as Labyrinths which felt like eternal damnation in hell. You can fact check this with Alizey- she also had to read this book. And I had to read the entire book assigned to us this week only to find out in the end that all this time I was reading the thoughts of a gecko that was supposed to be Borges reincarnated, hence why I think this book counts as fan fiction since Agualusa is technically just making shit up about a once real person (as opposed to Borges who only made literal SHIT up). Borges sin was not that he didn’t love, it was that he wrote labyrinths and thus had to be subject to being in a geckos body and dies because he got jumped by a scorpion.

I guess my shitty men of the week this week would be Borges I dont care if he’s not actually a character this week ok he technically is. Anyways I’m done being dramatic about Borges now.

There was a quote from this book that I found really fascinating: “do you think life expects us to be compassionate? I don’t believe so. What life expects of us is that we celebrate. Let’s return to the fish: If you were this fish, would you prefer me to be eating you with sadness or with delight?”. It really is a loaded quote with much to think about, obviously because it probes for the purpose of life and all. I feel like different people would have different answers to this question- after all there are a lot of vegans out there.  I honestly would rather the people eating me to eat with delight, so I guess in some ways I also belief that life is about celebration and experiences and feeling everything. Not that there isn’t a place for compassion, I just think that there’s always going to be much pain in the world. And for those that are in pain, you still need to figure out a way to celebrate your own life both in spite and because of it.

This book featured a lot of different themes- deception being the biggest one, especially with the whole name of the book (Chameleon but in reality its a gecko), Backmann (his double deception), Angela with her background, Ventura with his profession, etc. etc. But I think even beyond the characteristics of the people, this book largely deals with dancing between the bounds of reality and falsehood, truth and lies. This is seen repeatedly between the book, especially in instances where we can’t even be really sure what parts are just a dream versus what parts are reality. As the gecko says, “My dreams are almost always more lifelike than reality” (46). This is quite debatable considering the geckos position as well. The main interactions he actually has with Felix (beyond being a voyeur in his life) happens within his dream. In this sense, we can’t really definitively say which one is the gecko’s reality- when things are actually happening, and what actually feels more real to him. The book actually takes this a step even further too. At one point in the novel, Ventura talks about what another writer said: “I lie with joy! Literature is the only chance for a true liar to attain any sort of social acceptance” (68). Isn’t every story at the end of the day just a lie? it’s a tale about things that didn’t actually happen. Some could say that this book itself is a deception- a fictitious tale about a fake man even with a background rooted in culturally relevant events. To me, this sort of runs parallel with Ventura’s job- to change their genealogy, not necessarily the action of the characters. But a beat later, the writer says “truth is a superstition” (68).  The way I take this, if you believe it to be true, then it is real to you- this applies even to the characters in this book, which while obviously are fictional, I find it disingenuous to characterize them as “not real”. They are real, because we believe them to be real, to actually carry something, and that is what a superstition is most the time. The gecko said to Ventura in a dream later on: “You invented him, this strange Jose Buchmann, and now he’s begun to invent himself. Its like a metamorphosis…a reincarnation…Or rather: a possession”. When I read this, I found this quite funny, because the exact same thing can be said about the gecko; Agualusa invented him-its a reincarnation of Borges in Gecko..or more specifically a possession of Borges’ soul in the gecko’s body. But once the reader sees him, believes in this truth of the character, he begins to invent himself- the author no longer holds jurisdiction over who this character is. I guess to me, the lesson at the end of the day is that we all hold our individual truths- and many times, there are a lot of lies, a lot of contradictions within us and honestly, dishonesty with yourself to some extent. But that doesn’t make us any else false or any less real. The chance for reinvention is still there.

My question to you all this week is, if you were the fish, which way would you rather people ate you? With delight or with sadness?

Money to Burn: the real homosexual agenda

The reading this week, Money to Burn, is one of the longer readings so far in the course (at around 200 pages which is still relatively short if I’m recalling back to Span312 where we once read a 400+ page book). However, because it its style of writing, reading the book felt a lot swifter as it feels a lot more reminiscent of more recent contemporary books. I think that the author having a background in journalism did contribute a lot to how the book came to be (jumping between times and perspectives from witness statements, memories past, or reports from prison), which felt a lot more like piecing together different pieces of the story. In some ways, I feel that it also contributes to a lot more confusion in trying to filter out the truth of the situation (is there even one? I guess that is also a question) especially when most of the time when the gang is talking they are high on some sort of drugs.

I think the other peculiar aspect of this book is the focus of the narrative- I feel like a lot of robbery stories or crime stories focus a lot on the process of actually committing the crime and not have the bulk of the story dedicated to aftermath, that being the police chase down. I feel like this notion is true across similar stories in the genre like in peaky blinders and such. Although, this book did remind me a lot more about the show Narcos, since it also has the story focus on the police chasing down the criminal (Pablo Escobar) in the aftermath of him becoming a drug lord and honestly many elements of that story feel sort of similar in some ways, especially with the focus on the psychological disposition of the criminals.

Commenting on the shitty men category once again, I feel like on paper this book should take the cake for the worst there is so far- the killing of so many people (which included a LOT of innocent people), raping, stealing, like to be honest if we are being fair here they are probably the worst. But I somehow don’t find myself feeling that way. the tone of the book makes me not feel the actions behind them so much, and I guess that might be the authorial intent to some degree- none of the crimes committed really feel that personal- not in the way that makes my BP rise when I read a book about another abusive husband. And maybe just that- it not feeling personal on their end, whether about the violence, the abuse, or burning the money, means that it is the worst crime above all.

Question to all this week: what do you think happened to Malito? in the epilogue they mention different possible endings- do you believe one of them or believe something else entirely?

I too, would cry if I was sleeping with children (The Lover)

“very early in my life it was too late”.

I feel like that quote in itself really encapsulates the tone of the book very well- the moodiness of the book, to the writing style being a sort of recollections of instances in her life past but sort of looking at it sometimes as if from a third person kind of view? Either way, this writing style was very Lana del Rey of her. This book heavily emanates a sense of melancholic nostalgia to me.

My feelings for this book is a warped one to some degree. I have first heard of this book from another source in a book review- as I believe for one reason or another its been quite popular recently and sort of exists in the same literary canon as Lolita, Norwegian Wood, Breasts and eggs,  as “modern classics” to read. So I did choose to read this book with some knowledge of what it would be about, and I sort of came to see this book outside the more academic context and saw it through the lens of “personal enjoyment” like a book you would pick up to read as a pass time. Which I feel like I can say now that this book does not suit those circumstances- pedophilia does not work as light reading.

On another note, this weeks shitty man award goes to the older brother of the book. I think that there’s enough shitty men in every single book so far that its probably worthwhile to hold a shitty man award by the end of the semester to see who can duke it out and win the title for the shittiest man of all. I wanted to beat the shit out of the older brother in this book really bad so I probably would vote for him as being the worst. And I feel like that says a lot when theres a literal pedophile in this book.

Now that I think about it, titling this book The Lover kind of feels like one sick joke. She states in the book that she doesn’t love him, and that his feelings of fear are too great to be love. So where exactly is the love in this book? Her family dynamics is also a big oof; I kept on sighing whenever they were mentioned. However, I guess I see more love in her relationship with her mother- she is after all just a girl obsessed with her own mothers unhappiness- as I would argue is often the case with eldest daughters in immigrant families.

My question to everyone this week is: out of all the shitty men this class has seen so far, which one do you think is the worst and why?

The Hour of the Star: REST IN POWER MACABEA

Is a girl not allowed to like Coke in peace??? Is a girl not allowed to have some blood on her underwear??? Why did she have to die???? As much as the plot and writing of this book pained me to read, I actually enjoyed it a lot this week, and that is not because it’s only 77 pages long <3 . While the writing of the book initially bored the shit out of me because that man just won’t stop yapping about anything and everything, I think even beyond the writing of the book, the construction of the book is worthy of greater examination and praise. Because how is there an author that is female writing as someone that is male that is writing about someone that is female? The story of Macabea is also being part of a larger story or narration of people like Rodrigo who look at Macabea- so it really is a story within a story leaving a lot of layers to unpack. From this, I guess I have to not complain about his yapping because without his yapping I would not be able to clock his personality, and the larger purpose this characterization serves in dissecting class and gender within this book through his narration of a character like Macabea. I still think he’s an asshole though.

In response to the feedback from last lecture, I will attempt to make my reflections and comments more true to my personal feelings when reading this book. And additionally I will try to keep my complaints for  male characters to a minimum. But what can I say, this class and its choice of books almost resembles gender studies so we always have a lot to say. Here is my male character complaint of the week: There is a special place in hell for people that have the name Olimpico like if your name is Olimpico I already know you are up to no good.

To summarize my personal thoughts on this book, God gives his strongest battle to his strongest soldiers; the last one Macabea succumbed to is one no one can defeat (I’d like to see you not die from getting hit by a car like her)- so in some ways, this book is a testament to her strength in spite, or even maybe because of her circumstances, which is a point I think the narrator intentionally conceals / is ignorant to in some aspects.

This week my question to you all is: What is your take on the intended impacts of having Macabea die in the end?