I’ve just gone through a list of 500+ contacts on my email list (and this is quite different to my Facebook list), cleaning out the vast majority of people I don’t need on there anymore.
Quite a significant number of contacts were those that were “one-off” emails: info at so-and-so websites, or people who got in contact for one event and I’ve never seen again. Others were people who have left their current situations and no longer use those old email addresses. A couple reminded me of long-ago embarrassing and painful times when you’ve sent emails you regret in the dead of night and in fits of emotion — yes, I can clear those out of my contacts list without hesitation.
Yet quite a lot were names that sounded vaguely familiar in ways I no longer remember, leaving me with the unsettling feeling of having troubled waters I cannot see the bottom of. Who were these people and what parts did they play in my life? I sat over one, struggling to remember where the name had come up before, and finally recalled a woman who had helped answer my questions about UBC before I came. That is one story I remember, but the rest are lost: I could search, but what would knowing them do? I no longer see these people; none of this really matters; I’m never going to talk to them again — but something inside me feels uneasy with this conclusion, because once upon a time, these people came into my life and did something, and I have forgotten it all. How much of life am I losing out on by the simple act of not remembering?
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