Tag Archives: community

December 15, 2015 · 7:45 pm

Taking the Time to Listen

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“If you’re willing to help without listening to the story, then I have a problem.” – Caroline Berinyuy

A few weeks ago I had the privilege of speaking with Dr. Caroline Berinyuy, program director with the Young Women’s Leadership Program (YWLP) in Cameroon and leader of the next Global Solidarity Retreat.

Solidarity retreats emerged, in part, as a way to respond to challenges to and critiques of what has been called ‘voluntourism’, as described in other posts and in resources & readings. The messaging about much of the global South, particularly about sub-Saharan Africa, is that there are many poor / troubled people and that it is the role of those from the global North to travel and ‘help’ them.

Caroline’s take on this, as I heard it, is that the desire to ‘help’ is natural and valuable. The thing is, there’s a desire to jump in and help rather than first listen. It’s good to work with somebody who is willing to help – it’s a positive word if used rightly on the ground.

But, she says, “people are not listening to the story – they are quick to provide fixes without listening to the story. It’s important to see why doing a project in Cameroon might be different from one in Zambia… don’t overlook listening to jump to solutions first.”

Taking the time needed to deeply listen can be challenging, with short trips and tight schedules. She is visiting to present at the CIES (Comparative and International Education Society) 2016 conference. As a part of that conference she will give a short presentation to fellow academics and those within her field. The opportunity to participate in a Global Solidarity retreat, having several full days with the same small group of people, is a valuable addition to her travel itinerary – and a significant opportunity for Canadian residents.

Caroline is program director for the Young Women’s Leadership Program, which focuses on an after-school mentoring program for girls. The program aims to promote the education of girls both through academic support and scholarships. Workshops are led by professionals and by high school students, ‘leaders in training’. Her work engages mothers as well as community elders, and is a safe and welcoming space for students of all ethnic backgrounds and abilities. You can learn more about the YWLP in this article or in the following:

Global Solidarity Retreat YWLP Background

Stay tuned for further information about the Global Solidarity Retreat with Caroline Berinyuy: March 11th – 13th, 2016!

Photo of Girls Day

 

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February 15, 2015 · 6:56 pm

Global Solidarity Retreat: Report now available

The Artesana Global Solidarity Retreat, held Sept 26 – 28th on Gambier Island, provided an opportunity for people from the Lower mainland to explore issues related to international solidarity with feminist, artist and activist Sandra Moran from the Guatemalan women’s rights organization Artesana. Sandra is also the representative for the Americas for the World March of Women. The retreat was hosted by CoDevelopment Canada.

A diverse group of 11 women gathered to build relationships between each other and Sandra, build understanding of the work of Artesana, deepen understanding of global solidarity, and make plans for how to work together over the next 6 months. We shared delicious meals and thoughts on solidarity, went swimming / kayaking, learned about Sandra’s work, played in the night-time phosphorescence, sang songs around a campfire – and made plans for ongoing work with Sandra Moran and Artesana. For more information, click here for a post with more detail or download the Artesana Global Solidarity Retreat – full report.

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January 12, 2015 · 8:00 am

A New Kind of Shower

Over the past few years, I’ve been invited to several ‘showers’ – friends collectively around a friend about to have a baby or about to get married.

I’m not a big fan of showers in the abstract. I’ve always imagined an actual river of pink-and-white-wrapped gifts, small and large, tumbling from about head-height over an unsuspecting recipient. The traditional approach involves excessive amounts of tissue-paper-stuffed gift bags and either plastic penises or baby-themed chocolate, depending on the occasion. Then there’s ‘bonding time’ with a group of women who hours earlier had exchanged names. The facilitator in me is fascinated by the group’s responses to games that involve counting items in purses, wordplays on love, couple trivia. It’s challenging to be sincere in the face of so many superfluous activities.

Despite my mockery of the worst of these, there are pieces I appreciate about the tradition of showers. A wedding, or a child’s birth, are big times of transition; it’s appropriate to gather as a community to support, share our love for a person, express appreciation and care. It’s a bit like a birthday, but on a grander scale – a big gathering, organized by someone else, all focused on expressing care and love for a single person.

I’ve been wondering how we could do the same – ‘shower’ love and care on someone when it’s not their birthday, and when they’re neither pregnant or engaged. In fact, when perhaps they are emphatically neither of the latter… when they’re doing fertility treatment, finally single again, or anxious about the future.

I’ve thought of it as a ‘love-in’ – that’s just in my mind, it needs a better name (any ideas?). It’d be an opportunity to celebrate a whole person – their and idiosyncrasies.

Either at the gathering or in advance, people would share words / phrases / notes of support or love. They’d bring photos they love, momentos of past times. Ideally there’d be some way of collecting these pieces and putting them in one place… something made on paper to celebrate the person of the day.

The tricky part would be figuring out who to celebrate, and why. I think the person themselves would be nominated by someone, or by themselves; it’d be most useful to celebrate someone who is going through a tough time, but somehow it’d be important to make the occasion celebratory rather than based in pity/charity. It’d be a boost through a low time, a community ‘harambee’ for mental health, an opportunity connect and laugh and share.

Now, what could this thing be called and how could it be framed? Could it be part of an existing network of friends/people, or a separate thing? How could we pick the first person to be ‘it’…? Email me with your ideas…

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May 15, 2014 · 8:54 am

Building community in the city: “friend-family”, green leis, and Mt Pleasant Mondays

Crayon-drawing of connections.For some time I’ve been thinking about ways to connect more regularly with people that are important to me. In my ideal world connecting with community is a part of my home, a part of my routines, it’s natural, easy, and assumed. I’d love to say that it’s easier to see people, even when times are tough, than to not connect at all. When life is challenging, things aren’t all going the way I expect – I don’t want to have to reach out beyond the usual for additional supports. When I or those I love can’t see hope or joy, I want there to be natural communal networks that respond and provide support. Instead of calling on one friend, who then bears the brunt of my complaining/sadness/overwhelmed-ness, I’d like to have a community of people who can love me in my sickness/overwhelmedness.

I feel like I’ve experienced this kind of community at various points in my life – as a child in my own family, with the assortment of people who made up ‘2nd floor Tweeds’ in undergraduate residence, living in Smithers in a strawbale house, and as a teacher living in Kenya where individual rooms faced onto a collective courtyard. Now, as single professional in my 30s, I don’t have natural or easy ways to be a part of community. I have recently found myself living on my own, and am surprised by the ease with which I can be un-noticed and anonymous in and around my own home.

I’ve been thinking about community a lot, lately. And I’ve come up with a few different ways of building community into my life and my community. I know that I’m not alone in feeling disconnected and alone – the Vancouver Foundation apparently reported that 40% of Vancouverites feel isolated. And so I’m sharing these ideas in the hopes that they may spark similar initiatives. I’d love to see, years from now, a network of these circles in all of our communities. I’d love to have someone ask me, ‘do you have a friend-family?’ as if it were an assumed part of adult life.

One is “Mt Pleasant Monday” – a once-per-month gathering of people who live in Mt Pleasant. The idea is to gather collectively on the last Monday of the month to hang out, spend time socializing, connect with others in our neighbourhood.

Arising from that amazing conversation came a separate but related idea – “green lei culture”. Basically, we’ve distributed some green plastic ‘leis’. When any of us in the neighbourhood are home and welcoming spontaneous drop-by visitors, we put out the green lei on our doorknob, fencepost, or mailbox. It’s as easy as that – !

The third idea builds on the broader loose connections fostered by the above two and builds a deeper, personal connection. I’ve been recognizing how hard it is to consistently make plans with different people, from different parts of my life, and how easy it is for me to ‘just not see’ someone for several weeks or even months. I’d like to be a part of a circle that notices when I’m gone, even just for a week or two, and welcomes me back to the city. And so I like the idea of having a ‘friend-family’ – a group of 4-5 people who agree to gather once per week (or maybe every other week).

Last night was the beginning of a ‘friend-family’ gathering for me. I and three others cycled to Kits Point with food and wine, our first of what we hope will be weekly gatherings of this circle of beautiful people. These aren’t the only friends I have in my life, but they’re the most regular. We’ve committed to be there for each other collectively, and that somehow helps me feel more ‘at home’ here in the city.

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