Four years ago today the father of one of my best friends passed away unexpectedly. Although I personally never met him I know he must have been an incredible man because I have the great pleasure of knowing his daughter, who is one of the bravest, kindest, most understanding people I have ever met. Even though I never got to meet this man he has had an extraordinary effect on my life. He has made me so thankful for what I have.
I know that right now both my parents are working very hard and sacrificing a lot to pay for my education and ensure that I come out of these four years in as little debt as possible, and I love them infinitely for it. I really wish I told them that more often. I think we all tend to take our families for granted sometimes, especially in college, when it is easy to forget to call, or limit the communication to “more money please” and I really feel that that needs to stop. These are the people who brought us into this world, that fed us and held us and taught us, these are the people who helped build who we are now. I wouldn’t have an undying love for The Legend of Zelda or know the relish of a perfectly prepared steak if it wasn’t for my dad, and if it wasn’t for my mom I would have a much more limited view of the world, and of myself. I love my parents and I couldn’t ask for better ones, and I am so thankful that I know them.
So please, if only for the memory of my best friend’s father, call your parents tonight. Tell them about the snow, ask them about work, say anything…just realize that, as sad as it sounds, we have only so long to get to know these people who created us, and we should take every opportunity to do so. Even if you call and there is no answer, remember to tell them that you love them, because they probably don’t hear it enough and will really appreciate it. Do this for her father. Do this for yourself.
Thank You.
2 replies on “In Memory of a Great Man”
Do this for yourself, for your own parents.
I have a friend with whom I disagree about this point: our parents could die any day. It sounds so morbid, which is why she rejects it — there are at least another fifteen years, she says. But you know what? It’s still true.
My father had a stroke last summer. It was, thank God, a very mild one and he is now fully recovered. The experience shook me, though. At the time, we couldn’t be completely sure he would be 100% okay. And it made me realise how very mortal our parents are.
I’d always known that my parents would die, but somehow believed they’d live to a ripe old age before they might get sick. In truth, they could get sick now. They could get into an accident. Every day could possibly be the last day I might speak to them, and while I can’t live life worrying that they could be taken away from me at any moment, it took me a couple of months afterwards to realise that crappy things happen and they are all a part of life. I still have to go on living and making the most of everything I have, but the knowledge that my parents could potentially die any day is there in the back of my mind. Which sounds inordinately unhealthy, but it means I’m actually deeply grateful whenever I remember that I have just passed another day with them (in affection if not in physical presence).
I don’t know if you were writing this during the bomb/gun/scare/thing but whatever happened yesterday certainly intensified your point.
There is no guarantee that our parents will be the first to go. Schools have become terrifying places.