Polly DO NOT WANT a Cracker!

Sitting in Geography 102 this morning I came to a vast realization as to the properties of information, and why I have a hard time in university level science courses. My realization?

Facts are like crackers.

Now, given that facts are like crackers, what do I mean by fact? It could be a piece of information, a book, a lesson, just a tidbit of knowledge. We’ll say that a whole box of crackers is on the average exam. Now that that is sorted out, let’s explore how the average English class consumes crackers:

Prof: “Everyone take a cracker. Now, see that edge there, start to nibble it. Now, try to interpret what the cracker tastes like, what it smells like, how it feels, how it makes you feel. How does it relate to other breads? Is is salty? Sweet? Regardless, isn’t it a tasty snack? Let’s eat a few more over the weekend and see what else we can learn from it.”

This is my pace, breaking down a work to its parts and seeing how they harmonize. I am always happiest in my English courses. Granted, sometimes they require a bit too much reading (or cracker analyzing) but I can cope. On the other hand, this is what my Geography course is like,

Prof: “Here, have a cracker! Oh, you’re hungry aren’t you, have another! Actually, why don’t you take two or three more! Yes, more crackers everybody! You know, you look skinny, you should grab at least a handful. Now chew! Chew damn it! You need to make more room! Aren’t these crackers AMAZING!  Eat more! More! MORE!”

While you often leave the class full, it is almost impossible to swallow that many crackers without choking. As interesting as geography has been thus far, I am rather afraid of the volume of…crackers…that will be on the test.

Well, better get snacking!

P.S. Just for the fun of it, this is what a Philosophy class is like:

Prof: “Would you like a cracker? What defines a cracker? Are they all the same? Does the property of a cracker change by the box it comes in? If we all eat a cracker are we eating the same thing? Where does my cracker start and your cracker end? Can a cracker taste itself? Does it feel the pain of you crushing it as you eat it? Nobody eat any crackers until we get this sorted out….”