I have sorely misjudged myself.

How can one not know themselves, you ask? How can you not know who you are, what you like, what you don’t like, what makes you sad, what makes you want to smash walls and flex your imaginary muscles? How can you not? Apparently, you can.

See, I’ve always thought of myself as a “tough” person. I studied martial arts for about seven years, and I used to be insanely athletic before I became lazy and got fat. I also have a tendency to be sarcastic to the point of being almost mean, and some would describe me as sadistic. Really, guys. Really.

However, recent events have taught me otherwise. Apparently, I crave pain. I love it. I am almost masochistic, even. Oh how do I love it, let us count the ways.

(That was a Shakespeare reference and I hope someone caught it, because I don’t usually make Shakespearean references and it would be mighty embarrassing if it fell flat.)

1.  Fall Autumn (I am not going to conform to North American English, people. You will not corrupt me.) is here. Temperatures dropped all of a sudden. First, it was hot. Then it was cold. What the hell, Vancouver? 

Anyway, I love the cold. I love it. I go to classes dressed the way I would for summer. Pfft, who needs a jacket? You’d think that because I have lived in a tropical climate for like, oh I don’t know, my entire life, I might be wearing layer upon layer, but no. Noh. I wear flip flops too, but mostly because I am too lazy to put on real shoes. My fingers get numb from the chill and they hurt, but I love it. Oh how I love it. I revel in the feeling of the cold wind biting at my face and nipping and my fingers. I love how it hurts. So badly.

(But I will wear a winter coat when I have to. Don’t worry mom, I’m not going to die of hypothermia.)

2. I always complain about how I have so much work to do, readings that pile up endlessly and all that thinking I have to do… My brain just can’t deal.

But oh, it gives me so much pleasure. I love being busy. I love being pressured, and feeling like there’s not enough time. I enjoy how I sometimes have to stay up at night to do work, and I whine about how little sleep I get, but with each whine, I feel like my life has purpose. I feel like the god of unicorns and rainbows are smiling upon me and blessing me with the most radiant of rainbows and unicorn puke. I feel like the birds are squirrels are performing musical numbers just for me. I feel like the world is shifting into place, like there is real magic in the world, like ice cream sandwiches aren’t bad for you, like I can eat whatever the heck I want without ever gaining weight.

3. I visited the UBC Farm recently. If you haven’t, you should go check it out (and pay a visit to Menchie’s when you’re done!). The roads near the farm smell like manure and other generally foul-smelling stuff, but the farm is a pretty cool place. It also makes for a pretty sweet spot to take new profile pictures, if you ask me.

Anyway. They have chickens in the farm. Not just any kind of chicken, but FAT, FLUFFY chickens. They are some of the most ridiculously adorable creatures I have ever laid my eyes on. I am normally not a fan of chickens, because all they do is cluck around and do nothing, but UBC Chickens are SO cute.

Yeah, yeah, Jay. Get to your point. Nobody wants to read about chickens.

Well, you see, the chickens matter in this case. I whipped out my phone to take a picture of those chickens, because really guys, who wouldn’t? I rested my arms on the fence to get a steady picture and…

I got shocked by the electrical fence.

I am not kidding. I got buzzed by a fence because I was trying to take photos of chickens. Why the fudge bunnies is there an electrical fence anyway?

See, I got electrocuted, and for a nanosecond I thought I was going to die. It felt like an army of hungry people were marching through my veins, asking for bread and heading to the Versailles palace. It felt like the ground had shifted beneath my feet and I was falling into my life as a 5th grader again. It felt like thunderbolts and lightning, very very frightening.

And I liked it. I liked it.

I may have to rethink my life.