Technical Writing (ENGL 301) is an intensive writing course offered at the University of British Columbia. Throughout this course, students are to build professional writing skills that are essential to their careers. This page contains a myriad of assignments that students have accomplished in order to practice their writing skills. The assignments include definition, peer reviews, report proposal and progress report, business letters, and formal report. 

Definition Assignment 

The purpose of this assignment is to practice the explanation of a highly-technical word to different groups of audience. Having a definition is important especially when the reader is a non-technical audience. In this assignment, students need to define a highly-complex word in three levels: parenthetical, sentence and expanded format. Differentiating the appropriate amount of explanation and employing the right words for the right audience are the main goals in this assignment. 

Introduction:

The purpose of this assignment is to explain a technical term of our choice using technical writing skills to a target audience with little or no experience in a related field. We are required to explain the term in parenthetical, sentence, expanded format. This assignment allows us to practice using technical words and phrases to explain difficult concepts to the non-technical audience related to our professional field. The term that I am going to explain is Purchasing Power Parity.

Term:

Purchasing Power Parity

Parenthetical Definition:

Purchasing Power Parity (currency measurement through a “basket of goods” approach) is arguably a more accurate measure than the exchange rate to compare consumer’s purchasing power in different places.

Sentence Definition:

Purchasing Power Parity is an economic theory of exchange rate determination to reflect economic productivity and standard of living in a country. It shows the amount of each currency needed to buy similar goods.

Expanded Definition:

History

The concept of Purchasing Power Parity is originated from a Swedish Economist, Gustav Cassel, in 1918. Cassel asserted about a new theory that he created: The Law of One Price, which means that the cost of similar goods will be the same when the prices are expressed in the same currency in different markets.

Compare and contrast

Purchasing Power Parity is not the same as the exchange rate.

The exchange rate purely measures the movement of two currencies according to market demand and supply. The prices of non-traded goods are not taken into account, which leads to inaccuracy of the exchange rate while measuring living standards.

Purchasing Power Parity is measuring currencies by observing a basket of goods. Through the cost of goods could the economist understand the real price level in the market that consumers are facing in their everyday life, which is arguably a closer estimate than the exchange rate.

Visual

Figure 1 explains Purchasing Power Parity. A burger costs $3.57 in the US, while the same burger costs £2.29 in the UK. This means that, in the same market, the cost of goods should always maintain a ratio of $1.56 against £1 of goods. However, as per the image, the actual exchange rate reflects a wider ratio comparing two currencies, which shows discrepancies in pure currency comparison and cost of goods. (Wilson and Li, 2020)

The comparison of the cost of burgers (i.e. the Big Mac Index) has been used every year by all countries to measure Purchasing Power Parity and GDP in terms of a basket of goods.

 

Figure 1

 

Figure 2 shows the cost of the same cup of coffee in different countries. It costs the cheapest in Italy, which is only £0.78, whereas in UAE it costs £4.47, which is the most expensive in the world comparatively. The discrepancy occurs because the purchasing power is different in these countries. The aim of Purchasing Power Parity is to make a comparison between currencies to be more valid by adjusting local purchasing power differences. (IG Bank, 2020)

Figure 2 (IG bank 2020)

 

 

 

Required Conditions

In order to accurately show the Purchasing Power Parity, there are several required conditions. First, countries need to include a wide variety of goods in order to generalize the cost of goods to the average level. They also have to measure the same basket of goods in order to get the correct currency comparison.

Purchasing Power Parity also requires exclusion of tax calculation. Different countries have a different practice of tax payment; some are customer-transferrable (e.g. sales tax) some are non-customer-transferrable (e.g. import tax); some require expensive tax payment, but some do not. In order to generalize a fair result, the tax should be excluded in the calculation.

 

Sources:

Purchasing Power Parity – Learn How to Construct and Use PPP. (2019, December 10). Retrieved from https://corporatefinanceinstitute.com/resources/knowledge/economics/purchasing-power-parity/

IG Bank, (2020). What Is Purchasing Power Parity (PPP) Retrieved from: https://www.ig.com/en-ch/trading-strategies/what-is-purchasing-power-parity–ppp—191106

Robinhood, (2020). What Is Purchasing Power Parity (PPP). Retrieved from: https://learn.robinhood.com/articles/7zujPxSG6V3QxlONIy2MrU/what-is-purchasing-power-parity-ppp/ [Accessed 4 June 2020].

Rogoff, K, (1996). The Purchasing Power Parity Puzzle. Journal of Economic Literature. 34, 647-668. https://scholar.harvard.edu/files/rogoff/files/51_jel1996.pdf

Wilson, F. and Li, J., (2020). Purchasing Power Parity – MBA Mondays Illustrated. MBA Mondays Illustrated. Retrieved from: https://mba-mondays-illustrated.com/2014/04/purchasing-power-parity/

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Peer Review of the Definition Assignment 

Doing peer reviews is important as it is a learning process of exchanging ideas and improving writing strategies. For definition assignment, peer-reviewing a student’s work from another professional field helps to examine the definition techniques and clarity for non-technical audience. Through this assignment, students are also to develop writing skills for professional criticism and feedback. 

To: Sydney Storie
From: Alison Ma
Date: June 9, 2020
Subject: Review of your Technical Definition assignment

Title of Expanded Definition: Hydrocephalus

I have reviewed your first draft of the technical definition as posted on the team forum. I enjoyed reading it and had a better understanding of Hydrocephalus that is mainly developed in young children. Thank you for your hard work! Please check below the reviews that I think would be useful to you:

Initial impression

My first impression of your work is conciseness. You explained a difficult concept with a handful of vocabularies that you are familiar with. You have done a great job in parenthetical and sentence definition as they are short yet explaining the key points.

You have also given enough information about Hydrocephalus in the expanded definition since you covered four strategies, explaining its meaning with visuals and tracing its origin through Greek and Latin words. I like the way you include an introduction paragraph in the expanded definition, so your audience has a better idea of what it is.

I think the whole assignment is quite informational in terms of the context. If I were your supervisor or editor, I would ask for small revisions in dictions. You could choose words that are helpful to non-technical audiences.

Purpose

The purpose of the definition is clearly defined at the beginning of your assignment. You have used different methods to address the meaning of Hydrocephalus, which is the main purpose of this assignment. Your whole assignment did not stray from the intended purpose and has explained a difficult concept well.

I suggest cutting the paragraph by removing repeated sentences. For example, you have mentioned explaining Hydrocephalus in parenthetical, sentence and expanded ways (line 2); you do not have to mention again in the latter half (line 6).

Target Audience

From the perspective of a non-technical audience, I think the visual is the most helpful in understanding Hydrocephalus. It visualizes Hydrocephalus in the young child’s brain and compares the situation with and without such damage. I really like it, you have chosen the right picture!

I believe that some of the vocabularies are beyond the comprehension of my ability, such as “ventricles”, “cavities” and “cerebrospinal fluid drainage” etc. I like your simplified explanation of “water in the brain” under expanded definition. I understand right after reading this, and I would expect to apply the same explanation on other vocabularies or using other methods like metaphor and figure of speech to help with your explanation.

Imagine explaining this concept to the parents of a young child diagnosed with Hydrocephalus. Even if adults are educated, they are not educated in your profession. Try to use easier words with occasional use of technical terms to address the meaning.

Please check below the list of jargons in expanded definition:

• Cerebrospinal fluid
• Ventricles
• Cavities
• Intracranial fluid
• Ventriculojugular shunt with a spring
• Ball valve

Organization

Under the section of expanded definition, there are an introduction and three strategies, including Etymology, History and Visual. I like the Etymology and History part; they are easy and interesting to know. Visual is useful as it visualized the ventricles expanding in the brain, which causes possible brain damage. Remember that we need four strategies in the expanded definition. I think your introduction paragraph looks similar to the intention of an operating principle, so you could try to fit into this strategy or add a new strategy according to your work and keeping the introduction paragraph.

You have done a great job in the introduction and body paragraph of expanded definition. Etymology helps to understand water in the head, which is a damage to our brain; history helps to reassure the diagnosis of “the accumulation of water in the brain” from early medieval times.

I suggest elaborating more on visual strategy. You explained well about expanded ventricles, leading to increased pressure and swelling of the brain. You could elaborate more, such as under what condition will hydrocephalus happen, or what are its impacts. I understand that you have mentioned a little bit in operating principle/ the first paragraph under expanded definition, but I believe reiterating important takeaways with the help of visuals will be useful to your audience too.

Overall impression

All in all, I like your parenthetical definition and sentence definition; they are concise and easy to understand. The main area of improvement is the use of simpler words or further elaboration in explaining difficult concepts under expanded definition.

I hope my recommendations are helpful in your completion of this assignment. Keep up the good work!

 

Link to the original assignment: 301 Sydney Storie – Definition Assignment

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Formal Report Proposal

Formal report is the major writing assignment in this class. The process is long: from brainstorming a topic to interviewing relevant stakeholders for the project, it requires impeccable attention to details. Writing a formal report proposal informs the professor, Dr. Erika Paterson, about students’ intended writing topics and ask for approval. 

To: Dr. Erika Paterson
From: Alison Ma
Date: June 19, 2020
Subject: Formal Report Proposal – Improving the Use of Technological Software to All Staff in E-commerce Office

Introduction 

Most of the members in the society have been using the internet every day. With the blast of coronavirus, many businesses moved their business from offline to online, trying to capture potential gain from customers on a new channel. I am pleased to be able to work in the largest E-commerce company in Hong Kong, coordinating email and app notification campaigns as well as communicating with the other teams for product promotion plans. However, I realized that most of the data work about e-commerce is unrecognized by most of my colleagues in the company; only a group of business analysts is familiar with the technical work, such as programming and result analysis etc. I am interested to know more about how the company runs and work out a feasible solution to my supervisor and management team in this company.

Statement of Problem

Now the company is comprised of many departments. Each department is divided into small teams responsible for individual tasks. Just like my internship, workers are doing email campaigns with the programming-ready languages. They only need to change certain numbers to tailor each email and schedule each promotion using certain websites. However, most of the people are missing skills to critically analyze the response rate of their campaign, such as the clickthrough rate (the percentage of people who clicked a product promoted in your email) etc.

There are a lot more tools to use for E-commerce, such as Google Analytics, however, I think that the company is missing the training as only a small portion of expertise knows the function. I think it is necessary to increase the exposure of staff to the other E-commerce tools in this internet-driven world in order to advance in their role.

Proposed Solution

I propose to make a solid plan for the implementation of specific technological tools. First, the company should purchase a full plan for the necessary tools so that all the workers in the company could have access to it. (The cost is huge but considering the scope of the company that I am working in, they are financially sustainable for the plan with the highest transparency and access).

I will also propose to have multiple software implemented. A successful company should include more than one useful software for different purposes and for a better analysis. After getting to know more about the functions, I will propose some to the company and seek opinions from the management team in order to increase the exposure to the e-commerce software to more staff.

Scope

In order to introduce technological software for e-commerce, I plan to research on the following area:

• The software recommended for e-commerce
• The feasibility of the introduction of technological software to other staff in consideration of their workload
• The cost needed and training available
• Any plan necessary to boost training participation
• Any difficulties in management perspective to introduce technological software

Method

My primary source will be interviews with related personnel. I want to take advantage of my internship in my current company and interview with different stakeholders. I plan to discuss with the current business analysts (the current team who are familiar with technological software), the manager and two to three normal colleagues from other departments for their opinions. If time allows, I would also conduct an information interview with expertise from other companies to know about their thoughts on the current e-commerce trend and tools.

My secondary source will be scholarly articles of e-commerce exploration in recent decades, which helps to define my research direction and questions with the interviewee.

My Qualification

I am a student studying International Economics. I have a deep interest in digital marketing as it entails unlimited possibilities in the digital world. In my thesis paper, I had also studied the trend of e-commerce to the imported value of the US apparel. In my classes, I have also analyzed the cost and benefits of different policies, whether the net present value is positive for carrying out the plan.

After achieving an internship role in the company with the largest online shopping platform in Hong Kong, I have had more exposure to the e-commerce marketing team, especially in communication with the sales and design team to establish a slider on the website to advertise certain products. After realizing the problem, I want to make an impact in my internship and make a proposal to the company with the knowledge I gained from my degree as well as a perspective that is fresh to the company.

Conclusion

As an Economics student, I have been giving suggestions that are the most conducive after analyzing the given situation. With my strong interest in e-commerce, I am confident that I will gain a lot of insight while digging deeper into the digital world of business. Knowledge of certain software has to be acquired in order to avoid being eliminated from the job market. This proposal is a skill set that is valuable not only to the people in the company but also to other companies that are considering investing in human capital. I am looking forward to seeing even a small change my report could bring.

301 Alison Ma – Formal Report Proposal

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Progress Report with Surveys

A progress report is a mid-progress update to inform Dr. Paterson about the report and interviews. Since this course is conducted online, having a progress report helps Dr. Paterson to keep track of students’ work and provide the necessary feedback. After the approval of the formal report proposal, students need to further define the audience, research plan, writing schedule for this report and provide survey and interview questions. 

To: Dr. Erika Paterson
From: Alison Ma
Date: July 10, 2020
Subject: Progress Report on my Formal Report

As requested in Unit 2:3, a progress report detailing the key elements for the final report is provided below. Any feedback from you is much appreciated.

Audience

The formal report will be presented to the CEO, Marketing Manager and Business Analyst of the Ecommerce company called HKTVmall, which is a local company in Hong Kong. These three stakeholders are the primary audience for this project in order to help them understand the culture and expectation of the education of Ecommerce software. Other colleagues working in the company are also welcomed to read the report upon CEO’s permission.

Purpose

The objective of this report is to inform the audience about the need of software education in this technology-driven world. The intended purposes are to identify the necessary software for the company’s business and the advancement of software knowledge according to employee’s expectation.

Significance

As the world is undertaking online business practices more often than any time before, it is of utmost importance that workers in the company are able to handle technology in this fast-paced society. This report could help the company improve its current technology education and plan ahead the necessary software implementation to further boost potential profit.

Research Plan

• Distribute survey to workers in different department (translation is not necessary)
• Interview with senior staff member and related parties such as marketing manager and business analyst
• Evaluate normal staff members acceptance of proposed installation of new software
• Review statistical report highlighting importance of software and technology to a company’s development
• Research all programs that are already using in the company to understand its intended purposes
• Research for the cost of intended software programs and evaluate the acceptance of bigger stakeholders such as marketing manager and business analyst.

Writing Schedule

• Create a survey for normal staff members and prepare interview questions for related parties (done)
• Start distributing survey upon approval by Dr. Erika Paterson (July 15)
• Schedule meeting with marketing manager and business analyst (July 14)
  • Interview dates to be confirmed – should be in the week of July 13
• Observation of workers’ use of software programs (week of July 13)
• Analyze data obtained from interviews, surveys and observations (July 20)
• Analyze results and statistical data from academic report
• Present recommendations and report to intended audience (July 27)

Thank you for reviewing my progress report. I look forward to reading your feedback and suggestion.

Enclosures:

301 Alison Ma – Survey about Software Education in Ecommerce Company

301 Alison Ma – Interview Questions with Senior Manager and Business Analyst

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Business Letters: Complaint and Response Letter

The purpose of this assignment is to practice writing with a YOU-attitude. A YOU-attitude is a writing technique for successful communications. It focuses on the reader’s situation and considers their point of view. This writing technique makes the reader comfortable to read and feel that the most important person in the business relationship is you – the reader. 

Complaint Letter

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Peer Review of Application Package 

The purpose of this assignment is to provide feedback for students’ job application skills. Reading another student’s resume and cover letter helps to examine the writing ability from an employer’s perspective and improve job application strategies. The reviewing content includes a cited job advertisement, a resume, a cover letter and three reference request letters. A YOU-attitude is used and professional writing skills for giving feedback are practiced in this assignment. 

To: Kathryn Simone, UBC ENGL 301 Student
From: Alison Ma, UBC ENGL 301 Student
Date: Aug 14, 2020
Subject: Application Package Rough Draft Peer Review

I hope this email finds you well. Thank you for submitting the application package, it was well edited with many of your skills and achievements highlighted. Your resume is very eye-catching and easy to read. Most of your skills are well highlighted on your resume and cover letter. Some areas of improvement include reserving appropriate white space and spacing to improve professionalism and comfort for readers to read, and clarifying specific words to let the reader understand your request. I have given some feedback, please check below:

First Impression
The whole document is very neat and professional. The list of experience and technical skills makes a strong impression that the candidate endorses a lot of abilities that the company is looking for.

Organization
• Each document is correctly arranged.
• Sections are correctly labelled

Content:
1. Job Advertisement
• MLA referencing is correctly included
• The job advertisement is well selected to match the candidate’s ability

2. Resume
• Heading:
o Name and expertise are easy to spot
o Nice use of icons to differentiate contact information

• Technical Skills:
o A vast list of skills is mentioned highlighting candidate’s experience and knowledge
o Ranking the required skills mentioned in the job ad would help employers identify candidate’s ability more quickly and accurately

• Work Experience
o Excellent list of past work experience
o Cutting some sentences and
o Removing repeated action verbs could avoid redundancy and demonstrates candidate’s further ability
 Groundswell Cloud Solutions: Designed deliverables for global clients; Implemented close cross-team collaboration
o Including keywords like leadership and troubleshoot from the job advertisement requirements could notify employers of the candidate’s potential advancement in their company

• Personal Projects
o Excellent personal project example to highlight candidate’s interest and ability
o Removing Technologies Used could avoid redundancy on the resume
o Putting more weight to highlight the design process could make candidate’s work and ability stand out.
o Rephrasing the problems intended to help stand out the argument
 Example: Implemented new navigation

• Education
o Accomplishments and activities done in the degree are impressively mentioned
o Impressive achievement in the Bachelor of Arts degree

• Missing sections: objectives, reference

3. Cover Letter
• Starting the letter with a referral from one of the current workers in the company helps the employer to identify candidate’s potential achievement in the company
• Comfortable flow of expressing interest to the company first then highlighting personal skills from past experience
• Interpret some key responsibilities from the job ad could persuade the employer about candidate’s ability to handle the major tasks in this advertised position
o Using the same words from the job ads could be more convincing
 Example: “I have created several personal projects, including a dog walking matching service in Lightning Web Components and Apex and a React app that keeps track of students’ Computer Science degree progression.”
Could change to “I have implemented a dog walking matching service with new functionality in Lightning Web Components and Apex. I have also designed a React app to enhance current CS student’s course registration experience.”

• Aligning the design with the resume helps employer recognize candidate’s application as well as improves professionalism

4. Reference letters request
• Enclosed important documents in the letter, such as resume and cover letter to keep the referee up to date the candidate’s latest achievement outside school
• Included a deadline for the referee
• Avoiding passiveness in the letter makes the reader more confident with the candidate’s ability
o Example: “Although you were the technical architect and mentored my skills in technical and developmental design, many of the skills are directly transferable. All of the time, project management, and code standardization that I was taught will directly benefit me at the job I am applying for.”Could change to: “Project management and code standardization that I have learnt from your mentorship are some of the great transferable skills that I could apply in the job that I am applying.”

• Clarifying some of the keywords could make the reader understand what kind of skills to highlight for the candidate
o Third reference letter request
“All of the people skills…”
Could further elaborate “people skills”, like interpersonal and communication skills.

• Highlighting skills learnt could refresh the reader about the candidate’s achievement
o Nice highlight in the second and third letter! Including skills in the first letter could align the documents and help the reader writing the reference letter

Visual/ Design
• Resume is clear with an outstanding selection of colours, font and icons
• Most of the documents reserved appropriate spacing and white space for professionalism
• Second and third letter to request for reference letter – reserving adequate white space like the other documents makes the reader more comfortable to read

Tone
• Tone is professional and respectful
• Using positive dictions could make the reader more comfortable with the candidate’s request
o Avoid using prepositions like “although” lifts the overall professionalism

Grammar/ Typos
• All of the documents are well edited with no grammatical mistakes. Well done!

Concluding Statement
All in all, this application package is well-edited with impressive achievement and experience. The applicant has demonstrated outstanding accomplishments that are pertinent to the job advertisement. With the following adjustments, the application would be even stronger:
• Including objective and reference on the resume
• Using the same action verbs with the job advertisement on your resume and cover letter
• Elaborating further some words for clarity
• Reserving appropriate white space and spacing for professionalism

It was a pleasure reading your application package. I hope the feedback is helpful with your revision. If there is any question, please contact me at my email alison.ma@alumni.ubc.ca.

Thank you.

301 Kathryn Simone Application Package

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Peer Review of a Formal Report 

The peer-review of a formal report is to provide feedback for the writer about the content, organization and writing mistakes before submitting the final version to Dr. Paterson. The peer-review employs a YOU-attitude and practices professional writing skills for criticism. 

To: Mandy Su, UBC ENGL 301 Student
From: Alison Ma, UBC ENGL 301 Student
Date: Aug 6, 2020
Subject: Review of Formal Report – Increasing the Participants of the Annual General Meeting in Monet Community

Thank you for submitting the formal report – Increasing the Participants of the Annual General Meeting in Monet Community. It was very inspiring and informative to read. Please see below some of my feedback during revision:

First Impression

The main research problem of this report is well analyzed. All required elements are present, there are also many figures with appropriate headings included in this report.

Organization

The flow of the report is easy to follow, even the flow in each section makes sense and could bring the key arguments out in each subsection. There are effective headings and subheadings which help to identify the flow.

One thing I would like to suggest improving is the arrangement of the report. Some of the title and the body paragraph are not on the same page. For example, “Table of Content” is at the end of the cover page, but the whole table of content is on the second page; “Data Section” is at the end of page 4, but your body paragraph for Data Section is on page 5. Not sure if technical problems would be a part of the reason, such as different versions of Microsoft Words are used, but it is better to for us to pay attention to this issue when we output the formal report.

Another point that I would like to highlight is the alignment of the graphs in Data Section. Most of the graphs are aligned from the left and have the same distance from the left margin, except for the last graph, which is Figure 10. It is easy to spot out this difference as there is another graph on the same page. We should pay attention to the overall appearance and spacing.

Finally, I suggest opening a new page for every new section that created in the report. For example, Conclusion could move to the next page instead of following right after Figure 10 on the same page. This would reduce the feeling of compactness and makes the reader easier to digest the thorough information provided while reading your report. Adding page number at the corner of each page makes reader easier to read and will not lose track in the report.

Content

1. Introduction
   • The introduction is full of background information that is necessary to the report.
   • The introduction is concise while bringing a lot of key information to the reader. Limiting the introduction in one page with four subsections is a good decision.

2. Data Section
   • The data section is well-edited with the analysis of the current situation first, followed by the preference addressed by the residents.
   • The definition of keywords like “Deemed Notice” and “Actual Notice” is also provided before the analysis of graphics in this section.
   • Nice to address the demographics and data limitation (possible bias) in the result.
   • The data section is separated into three different main findings that are identified in the data research.
   • The report has identified and analyzed three different areas that lead to unsupportive AGM in the Monet Community.
   • Each section is written to appeal to the identified reader, which is the Strata Manager.
   • The choice of words is important for readers to understand the report. Some words in this section might have a different interpretation. Please see the following:
     • “A great deal” in Figure 3 The Impact of Time Conflict to AGM’s Participation seems to be saying that time conflict is a big deal/ the main reason for participants being unable to participate in AGM; versus
     • “A great deal” in Figure 7 Resident Preferences to Different Means of Notice seems to be referring to the amount of notice that the residents prefer to receive.These two are of different meanings but using the same diction. I would suggest replacing “A great deal” in Figure 7 with “A lot”. It is more straight-forward and easier to understand.

3. Conclusion
   • Summary of Statistics: it is well written with a brief summary from the data section! Interesting figures are also highlighted in here which serves as a main point from the data section.
   • Summary of Problem Causes: a short description of the problem that you identified from the data you collected.
   • Suggestions: they are reasonable and seem to be feasible to carry out.

Design/ Figures

• The figures use the blue tone in general, which is professional
• Sometimes it takes a bit of time to figure out different groups in the figure since the blue tones are quite similar in the figure. In order to improve the easiness to read your figures, try either way in the following:
  • Employ different color tones to make your figures easier to understand; or
  • Tune each blue tone to highlight the difference, such as tuning the dark blue to be slightly darker, while the baby blue to be slightly lighter.

References

• The correct MLA format is used in this section. Well Done!

Style/ Tone

• The tone is very professional and objective
• The tone is not negative, even when you are pointing out shortcomings
• The appropriate “you” attitude is used in this report

Grammar/ Typos

The report is smooth to read except some grammatical mistakes. Please see below:

• Abstract
  • Could remove comma
    “… the absence of various recurring events and meetings[,] and use similar solutions…”

There are also some typos in your report, please check:

• Introduction – Scope [of] Inquiry
  • No need to capitalize prepositions in the title/ subtitle
• Data Section – Figure 9 Online/ Virtual AGM [Acceptance]
  • Need to change the heading in your graph

Throughout your report, there is a lot of double space in between words. Though it does not affect the audience understanding the report, it does affect the overall tidiness and appearance. Remember to check the spacing after finishing our work. Here are some of the examples that require amendment:

• Introduction – Situation
  “… with 14 qualified voters and [] 16 voters of proxy.”
  “… the total number of residents with voting rights is 143, [] this means…”
• Data Section – Deemed vs Actual Notice
  “Figure 6 Ways of [] Notice Residents Received.”

In reverse, space is needed before and after each punctuation. Please see below:

• Data Section – Timeline of Notice
  “ … when the residents were notified of the notice. [] There are 74%…”
• Conclusion – Summary of Statistics
  “… to deliver a paper notice in person [] (42.2%).”

Concluding Statement

Well done! This report is very interesting to read, it investigates the issue in the community that the members in the neighbourhood should be aware of. With the following adjustments, the document would be more convincing to the Monet Community:

• Changing some choice of words to increase the understandability of the report
• Increase the readability by incorporating the correct spacing in between words as well as the white space between each section.
• Fine-tuning the colour in your graphics to make it more appealing, especially for pie chart.
• Adding page number at the corner
• Changing the grammatical mistakes and typos in the report to make the arguments stronger

It was a pleasure reviewing this report. I hope you find the feedback helpful and I am looking forward to reading your final report. If there is anything unclear, please do not hesitate to contact me at my email alison.ma@alumni.ubc.ca.

Thank you.

 

301-Jie-Su-Draft-Formal-Report