Tag Archives: upass

15 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Vote in the AMS Referendum

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Have you ever dated someone who is passive aggressive? It’s pretty much the most annoying thing in the world, and almost impossible to change. Kind of like the 92% of students who haven’t  yet voted in the AMS Referendum. At first I was quite annoyed because the Referendum committee is sucking balls (last referendum ~23K students voted), but then I decided to just be passive aggressive like all the other students who haven’t voted yet. So, here’s why you shouldn’t vote:
#1 Democracy is a failure, at least, that’s what I’ve learned by reading Plato and shit. Also, something about a cave.

#2 I don’t drink alcohol, therefore I never get to enjoy $9.50 pitchers on campus.

#3 I’m celibate, so I never have to go to the Pit on Wednesdays to try and get laid. I also never use the AMS health plan to cover my birth control pills. Or cold medicine. Or antibiotics.

#4 My parents pay my tuition, so I don’t care if there’s a student society to lobby to the government about student loans, student aid, and shit like that.

#5 I’m graduating soon, so I don’t care about the $108 million brand new awesome SUB that is going to be built.


#6 All the VFM blogs are stupid, and I don’t like unicorns, therefore I don’t care if unicorn hack blogs exist.

some people draw devil horns on their exes, we think unicorn horns are cuter.

#7 I don’t like cheap but good food on campus, and I especially hate blue chip cookies.

okay, these look seriously so awesome.

#8 I never use the cheap Whistler Lodge. Whistler is stupid.

#9 I’m super smart so I don’t use the services, like free tutoring.

#10 Nobody reads The Ubyssey.

#11 I never get sick, so I never use the AMS health plan for prescriptions. I have perfect eyesight and teeth, too.

#12 I have no friends, so I’m not a member of any clubs that would benefit from a Club Benefits Fund.

#13 I hate getting drunk at outdoor concerts like Block Party and Welcome Back BBQ (and thus have never made out with Mike Duncan)

gerald deo photo

#14 I hate the earth. Screw a sustainability fee, worms are stupid.

#15 I never use my mother fucking U-Pass.

Oh, plus: I will never be sexually assaulted, and none of my friends will. Because I can totally control that, so there’s no need for me to consult with the Sexual Assault Support Centre.

Yeah, so, there’s probably at least one reason why you should vote for the “$5” increase. I’m going to go drink cheap beer now.

For more information on the referendum, check out our page here.

Breaking: The Not So Awesome New U-Pass

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Hey, remember when we broke that story about how all the students in BC will now be getting access to a U-Pass? And how us cool kids at UBC will have to pay a little bit more? Sounds ok, right? We’re having a referendum on it in March so there will be more on this to come.

However, the new U-Pass system SUCKS SO HARSH. Let us break it down.

  1. The U-Pass will now be monthly, instead of by semester. This is a HUGE pain in the ass, to always remember to go get your U-Pass at the end of the month before it becomes the 1st. Also, isn’t this wasting a lot of paper?
  2. You will most likely be going to a vending machine to get your U-Pass.
  3. If you lose your U-Pass, you can’t get another one until the next month. Update: You can actually get up to one lost one per month, but have to go to the carding office instead.
  4. The U-Pass won’t have your picture or name on it. It also will not be able to swipe in the swipy machines.
  5. You have to present your student card with your U-Pass.
  6. If you are caught without your student card, you are fined $173 AND you are not allowed to participate in the U-Pass program for the rest of the year.

So, let’s say you’re taking the Canada Line to work. There’s a random fare check before you get on the train, and you have your U-Pass in your pocket like you always do. You’re asked for your student card, and then you realize- oh shit, you forgot your student card in your gym bag after using it to scan in at the BirdCoop! If you get a mean transit cop, you’re then fucked for the rest of the YEAR.

Not to mention that if you get your wallet stolen or just misplace your U-Pass (as I do at least three times/year) you are then fucked for the rest of the MONTH.

So basically Translink is trying to crack the whip down on students. Good thing we have some smarty pants on Council. Students, if you get caught, just say that you have no fare instead of showing “half” of it. Then you’re treated like a regular criminal and not that of the super special student criminal. Oh, and if you’re graduating, don’t forget to “lose” your student card! It will be valid for another five years, so you have all that time to get your friends who are still in school to give you their “lost” U-Pass each month.

Thank you, Translink for this epic fail.

Rage your comments and conspiracy theories in the commentzzzzz and

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