The first blog post I published mentioned how I would hope to improve on the conciseness and clarity of my writing, in preparation for graduate school, and future endeavours. Reflecting upon the assignments I have completed, I witness true value in the giving and receiving peer reviews, and the opportunity to revise my work. Although the rigour of my other courses have prevented me from making immediate changes to my work upon receiving the feedback, editing my assignments after some time actually situates me in the role of a reader, offering new perspectives on how the writing was or was not effective. For instance, my peers were quick to point my tendency to over-use words, and would offer helpful rephrasing tips. However, there were certain assignments, such as the my progress report, where I became a little ‘stubborn’, and frustrated because I did not know how to condense my writing while effectively communicating my ideas. In retrospect, allowing more time before re-editing the assignment would have been helpful, or I could have asked those around me to read my assignment, but such difficulties contributed to vast improvements in my writing.

I am also appreciative of the instructor’s feedback, as the comments reinforced my efforts and dedication, allowing me to see that I am gradually improving. Near the end, with assignments such as the email memorandum to Evan Crisp, I had noticed a significant difference in the length of my assignments, in comparison to the beginning of the term. The You-Attitude and mitigation of imperatives professionally conveyed my ideas, and the writing process became more enjoyable, I was finally beginning to see a positive change in my writing techniques.

I strived to utilize the same writing style for larger assignments, such as my application package and the formal report, but eventually became overly concerned about the conciseness of each sentence. I would spend over 75 minutes on one paragraph, obsessing over the sentence structure and re-writing it so many times, that it began to sound awkward. After many editing phases, I have come to the conclusion that quality is much more valuable than quantity, which is an insight I will carry along with me as I embark my fourth year of my kinesiology degree, and my ultimate goal of pursuing research in human movement. I am passionate about the physiological and sociological aspects of the human body, but regardless of the masters and PhD program I pursue, the You-Attitude, conciseness, and an active, professional tone in my writing are new skills that I will communicate in applications, emails and letters.

The web folio illustrates the milestones I have experienced throughout English 301, showcasing my growth within the course, with new platforms to showcase my profile online, such as in LinkedIn. Having always preferred simplicity in my designs, my web folio strives to offer information in the most straightforward manner, which has also been one of my main goals throughout English 301. Although I admit to very basic social media design skills, I aimed to generate a site that represents a skill I have learned in this class, which is the clarity of information delivery.

Catering to the audience of potential employers for graduate school, gave my web folio an intentional path as I was creating it. Each page displays my strengths and skills, such as in my resume and best works, but the entire site illustrates a trajectory the improvements I have made throughout the term, and my dedication to each assignment. I was skeptical my abilities to create a user-friendly and organized site, and had to do a lot of preliminary reading on ways to create an engaging platform. Even though the site is not exactly how I had imagined in to be, due to the rigour of finals, the process of creating the site was very rewarding.

Main components of my web folio are the reflection posts embedded within the “Blogs” page. Each reflection captures the difficulties I had undergone through various assignments, but also demonstrates my learning and problem-solving skills. Reviewing previous reflections, I am grateful for all each milestone, or issue I ran into while writing, for it has contributed to my knowledge in technical writing.

The formal report was unlike most of the papers I have written in my field of kinesiology, because the research and analysis process required analyzing the statistics of the company. Obtaining the check-in records from specific months was timely since 30MH had a recent software change. Therefore, the data prior to 2018 must be tracked through an older program, but the data effectively contributed to my suggestion of implementing a new rewards program.

I was initially overwhelmed by the amount of information and detail I had obtained through my research, and wanted to incorporate everything, since most information seemed to enhance my report. However, taking into account the busy schedule of my audience, I had to reiterate select pieces of information in a conciseness manner. I also had trouble organizing all the information to ensure coherency and smooth transitions since there were certain topics (barriers of exercise and 30MH income statistics) that were quite irrelevant with regards to each other. The use of subheadings guided my organization process, allowing me to individually sort out my ideas, and see what topics should follow. The writing process process was frustrating in the beginning, mainly due to the scattered and incomplete information of my survey findings. I decided to conduct a second round of surveys to ensure that I had sufficient data, which delayed my writing process by one week. However, the rich information and diverse ideas I received in the new surveys enhanced the analysis of my project.

The peer review process was immensely beneficial because I was able to learn from my peer’s work and provide them with suggestions that could have also aided my report. Reading from the perspective of the audience communicated the importance of having a logical and well organized flow of topics and ideas. Since I knew very little about my partner’s work (non profit organizations), her excellent organization of the report clearly laid out all the information, without leaving me to make assumptions. I gained ideas of how I could potentially improve the organization of my writing. My report’s style and layout was also very different than my partners, in that I focused more on the rationale for justifying the implementation of my rewards program, whereas my partner emphasized various options her company of interest can use for improving communications. Being able to see unique deliveries of the report will be useful for my ongoing editing process. Overall, the formal report exposed a new style of writing in which I can continue to practice using concise language and the YOU attitude.

During unit 2, I went through several ideas regarding my workplace that could be investigated for my formal report, including the sanitary standards of the gym, ways to increase sales of memberships, or marketing of the gym on social media. However, the decrease in attendance rate was most relevant to my studies in kinesiology and the prevalent issue of physical inactivity amongst the working class in our society. I had actually drafted a formal report for methods to increase membership sales, which also connected to promoting physical activity amongst women. Unfortunately, the feasibility and data sources would be very limited because 30 Minute Hit is a Franchise, and any changes regarding memberships would require extensive legal consultation and the opinions of all 30MH gyms, which is unattainable for the scope of my report. While preparing to conduct the interviews, I wonder how the findings will be integrated into the formal report. For instance, will I be using the information to justify why my proposed solution is feasible, or am I expected to use their input to illustrate how the rewards system will be constructed?

The formal report outline required preliminary research of 30MH statistics to provide sufficient sources to carry out the research. The writing plan we completed aided my organization of the project and provided me with step-by-step procedures as to how the research will continue to ensure sufficient writing and editing time.

Writing a peer review for my partner’s proposal was useful in comparing our different writing styles and how I can improve the clarity of my writing in future assignments. My partner’s proposal was shorter than mine, but communicated sufficient detail for most of the sections. With technical writing, detail is important but conciseness is key to respect the reader’s busy schedule, and I strive to continue to improve on this aspect. My colleagues’ work on the team forum displayed immense diversity in our interests and professions.

I have not created a Linked In profile prior to English 301 and I was glad for the instructions and peer feedback my peers provided in making sure I had a personal and professional profile. Since a lot of my new connections on Linked In did not have a profile photo, I was initially unaware of the importance of visuals. However, after reading several “best practices” of Linked In, and receiving feedback from my colleague, I promptly added a photo to enhance the effectiveness of my profile. A professional social media network greatly differs from any of the platforms I have used for connections, but I find that it is meaningful to showcase your accomplishments and work or academic intentions in a professional manner.

Attachment of the revised proposal: Revised Proposal -Christine Pang

Hyperlink to peer review of my proposal: Peer review of Christine’s proposal

Writing the first draft of my definitions allowed me to learn and make use of the several ways that one can define a term. Definitions are vital for knowledge translation and ensuring that information is accessible to most people. When making decisions for word choice, I reflected back on my experience as a first year student in kinesiology, when I was taking introduction classes. I recall the professors having large portions of their PowerPoint or lectures devoted to giving us the proper definition, usage, and application of the terms.

When using related terms for the negation method, I used sentence definitions to define the term “Obsessive Compulsive Disorder”. Although the audience has been exposed to the basic psychological terminology, a clear definition will ensure appropriate connection of OCD to body dysmorphic disorder. The visual I chose is a diagram encompassing the major aspects of the disorder, but each term that may possibly be unfamiliar to my audience has either a parenthetical definition within the flow chart, or has been defined in my explanation of the visual. The examples of how each component of the disorder may be elicited is shown in the diagram, allowing a more applicable image of the disorder.

Completing a peer review for my group-mate was very beneficial. The definitions I peer reviewed was for the term “Donor Development Cycle”, and through my group-mate’s appropriate usage of word choice, tone, and examples, I was able to grasp a clear idea as to what the stages of the donor lifecycle was. While reading through my group-mate’s definitions, I also reflected on my own choice of methods and the delivery of my explanations. There were many instances where I went back to my own definitions to see whether if I had demonstrated the same skills, or have made similar errors as my group-mate had. After the first read of my group-mate’s definitions, I had already had a basic understanding of her term as she has concisely delivered each definition without any grammatical errors. I chose to focus slightly more on the organizational aspect of her definitions because I came across expansion methods that did not seem to be clearly titled. This illustrated the importance of clear labelling of a document and motivated me to be more careful in my future assignments and documents.

The feedback I received from my group-mate was very valuable in allowing to see my current skills in defining terms as well as the clarity of my writing, which is a skill I have been aiming to improve ever since high school. Following her advice made the editing process more efficient. For instance, I could have employed fewer words to communicate my idea, or I could have structured my sentence in a more effective manner.

Throughout this assignment, I became more aware of how small changes in my sentences can result in a large difference in the tone and clarity of my idea. The peer review and editing process improved the first draft of my definitions as well as altered my expectations towards the effectiveness of my writing for the future. I look forward to more opportunities to practice these skills, and to receive more feedback in ways I can improve my writing.

Edited Definitions: Definitions (edited)

Hyperlink to peer review: Peer Review of Christine’s Definitions