It’s been a while since I last posted something. I just forget about this blog now and then. Anyways, this is almost my last year at UBC and honestly I don’t feel so great about it. There are so many things I feel like I haven’t taken advantage of or accomplished and this just makes me really sad. I Hope that in the next 2 terms I have left I can accomplish way more. I also hate how I always can find something to write about on my personal blog but I’m not creative enough to write for my other assignments. I’ve just been feeling super blah lately and haven’t had the energy to do school work. I’ve been thinking a lot about grad school and how sucky my grades are compared to the grades we need. I’ve been almost on the verge of giving up my career choice and just go and work for retail….however if I do that I would just be accepting my own defeat. I’ve always been interested in psychology and always felt the need to listen to people and give advice. Honestly, I can’t picture my life without working for something related to counselling. I want to help others  in every possible way. The mind is a powerful tool and it’s often abused. I want to induce people to think positively and cancel out all the negative loops they find themselves in. I want them to be able to use the mind in a healthy and positive way, away from all the destructive thinking. This is what keeps me going and hopefully someday I actually reach my goal as a counsellor.

I should be studying for my midterm but I just can’t focus. I’m so spacey and I think I shouldn’t have even taken a summer class to begin with!

However, at the same time I want to finish my psych requirements asap. I need a break from psych…seriously. No matter how much I love my major, the repetition and overlap of the material in the courses is insane…yes bitch, I think after having taken 13+ courses + high school psych I know what classical conditioning, observational learning,  operant conditioning etc. ARE. I also can’t stand the scaling of the grades. Why do we have to be scaled down most of the time? FML. If you are in a smart class, you are bound to do worse in the class…and I’m so lucky cause guess what? The summer class I’m taking right now had a 75% average on the last midterm. Yes. So it means that the chances of being scaled down on the final grade are high as fuck (unless ofc people in the class become less smart…HAHA..right).

Anyways, a part from my crappy luck. I’ve also been really moody and unable to concentrate or even listen to people’s  conversations (after about 10 mins, my brain goes in “standby mode”).  So yeah, I’m not in the “best conditions” brain-wise. I don’t know what it is exactly that I need..but I think some alcohol will do me good. I need a break and I want to be surrounded by people who really understand me. Not by people who just pretend to be your friends like once a month. This term has really made me realize who is there for me and who is not. If you don’t  even know half of the stuff I’ve been going through then you are probably not in my list. While, I’ve decided to tell my close friends at least half of the stuff I’ve been going through, I’ve kept a part of it to myself. So yeah miss-“I tell everything to everyone”, is not as open as you might think…..

So here it is, It’s the end of my third year at UBC. I never thought this year would go by so fast. I don’t even know how I made it through this semester without two of my besties. I Honestly don’t know. I guess snapchat, Facebook, instagram, twitter, Skype, iMessage helped me get through the “separation anxiety”. #lovetechnology

I’m so happy for making it through the semester in a different way. I made many changes this term that I’m definitely proud of. I definately became more outgoing, more independent, more crazy (okay, maybe this is not a good one), more mature and developed a great “you know what? I don’t give a faack attitude”. Many things (some of which I’m not really proud of) have changed me. I learned how to control myself emotionally. I mean, maybe it’s true that you can’t control feelings/who you end up liking, but it’s also true that you have the power to control  the extent to which they can harm/hurt you. Getting “hurt” by someone is an emotional state you place yourself into. If the other person isn’t hurt, if the other person doesn’t care, if the other person doesn’t want you the same way… then there is really no need for you to feel hurt.  Why ruminate? Why spend so much energy on people who don’t really care as much? The energy you spend should be equivalent to the energy the other person spends on you (and this goes for friendships too).”Getting over someone” is really an emotional state you are able to change. The brain is one of  our most powerful possessions,  and we REALLY gotta learn how to make great use of it. AND Learning how to empower ourselves with positive self-talk is one of them.

Anyways, it’s funny how I’ve been told this so many times, but it finally took me a term full of crazy/irresponsible decisions to fully understand this concept. We can be miserable and waste energy, or positive self-talk ourselves out of that “garbage state” and  be awesome instead. And honestly folks, I choose the latter. #justsaying

Oh yeah and this term you probably noticed that I went crazy on hashtags #love #simplelife #excitement, makes life so much more easy! Anyways I could be writing about all crazy adventures, people I’ve met, new friendships but I’m gonna cut short and leave this for another time. I just can’t wait for summer 2013 to start! OH AND  less than 2 months until I see my lovaa <3

So excited! I also can’t wait to see my other italian baby twin Astrid.

Summer has passed, the warm sunshine left Vancity and the cold and rain made their way back home. Yes, autumn is back in town. Last autumn was quite boring and uneventful. However, this year it was really quite uhmm. entertaining. I felt for the first time in my life as if I was part of something special. It felt like my life was turning to the right direction. Everything looked so good and promising until I realized as TSwift might say “the joke is on me”. Sometimes, I really don’t know if I give the impression that I’m someone you can mess/pretend/fool around with…but for some reason people just do. I must have some kind of label on my head saying “hey look why don’t you just mess around with me and disappoint me, I just love it!”. It’s okay though, I’ve learned several lessons…1) Most people are full of sh*t 2) Not everything is what it seems 3) Don’t ever justify someone, if the person doesn’t put the effort ditch them. Autumn is all about things falling a part right? So maybe this is the season to get rid of things, people and situations that are making us sad. Time to laugh about the crazy things that keep on happening and just make jokes out of them.

It’s also time to buy people a new pair of glasses, cause people really have trouble seeing around here. O.O It’s getting really annoying I swear.

Spring, Spring, Spring…Summer is almost at the door. I can’t wait for it to be warmer. Sunny days like this bring me back to memories of last summer = happiness with people I love <3

and just thinking about it makes me a little nostalgic.

This second year has gone by wayyyy too fast and honestly speaking, yeah, I had some good and fun memories, but I ‘m not really satisfied with my grades, with the things that happened etc. If I could I would re-live it again another way and I wouldn’t let distractions bring down my grades.

I did learn something though, if people don’t appreciate you, then there’s really no reason to be upset about it because it means they are not worthy your time. All this time, I’ve made myself upset because certain people didn’t appreciate me. But really, what’s the point? It’s not like the other person is going to be sad as well if they don’t give a damn about you. If you don’t care about me, why should I spend my energy caring about you? A basic rule that I didn’t seem to incorporate in my daily routine. Now I know.

Tomorrow is Easter and yeah time kind of passes by waayyyyy too fast. A year ago I was with my friends celebrating in the Tec lounge eating easter eggs and listening to Britney Spears. It was such a good time and just thinking about it makes me smile. 🙂 Once again, this year we are going to make new memories!

And…..A year from now when my friends are on exchange… and hopefully *finger crossed* I’m on exchange too at  UC something, we’ll all be thinking about this EASTER. So let’s make it special! Let’s forget about all the drama and finals! (for a day)

HAPPY ALMOST EASTER!

Unusual title, huh? Well, I’m probably the only one that knows the meaning to it. In two words: repeating history. Isn’t it tiring to get stuck in the same situation over and over again through the years? And someone else gets what you wanted again? You would think life is about learning lessons so that next time you know what to do….this is what I thought. Honestly, I don’t think so. This is just an excuse people use to make themselves feel better if something goes wrong. Why? Cause if life really wanted to teach me a lesson, It would stop placing me in the same situation over and over again. If I have to make another mistake I wish I could just learn a different lesson. And I know, this might sound confusing, but, I’m just sick of repeating history that doesn’t make me any stronger. I just wish that for once all the effort I put into something got payed back. Is that asking too much? So I found this quote, and It was kind of inspirational. Don’t know how much it will help but it makes me “hope”, once again.

“Believe you can, and you can. Belief is one of the most powerful of all problem dissolvers. When you believe that a difficulty can be overcome, you are more than half way to victory over it already” – Norman Vincent Peale

Ever had a strong belief about something? No matter what others say you still firmly believe in it? No matter what you see, no matter what others are showing, there is something inside you that tells you the opposite? Well, this happened to me. I don’t know what it is but I just know it. Maybe I might be wrong and once again making another mistake, but at least I can say I was true to myself. And that I strongly believed in what I was thinking and what I was doing.

You know what’s magical about a belief? People around me can tell me whatever they want, show me whatever they want, but if I believe in something you won’t change my mind easily. I’m stubborn and there is nothing no one can do about it.

Once again, this is the time of the year where all the lovey doviess have fun and have to publicly make their single friends even more aware that life is just so muuuch more fun if you have someone else. Unfortunately, the” lovey dovies” (includes married couples, engaged couples, regular old couples, new couples or even two people just liking each other) are not really making me jealous this year. Hey, don’t get me wrong, I’m not a V-day/couples hater, but,  from what I’ve experienced I just think  that getting hurt is so much more painful than just being alone 🙂 I mean, it’s really cute to watch other couples have their own thing on V-day and hearing all stories…but to have this you need to buy the “whole package”  which includes dramaa-fo-yo-mama. So all the singles out there who are crying/being depressed because they don’t have a “valentine date”, just think about the “whole package” thing and it will make you feel better 🙂 PLUS, the best V-day dates (at least for me) are my friends. They were always there for me even in the worst situations. SO all my loveee goes to them 🙂

BUT if you are single and you have/think you have a special someone, then go for it only if it’s worth it. I mean, out there…somewhere   I’m sure there’s a person that will be worth the drama and if it’s really worth it, there will be something inside you saying “green light-he/she’s worth it”…..BUT if you have doubts it’s kinda like a red light saying- “he’s a nono”.

JUST GO WITH THE FLOW.

HAPPY ALMOST V-DAY.

Hey hey, it’s been a while again! Haven’t really had time to blog with exams/projects/holidays..

I’m really bad at keeping up with blogs and I do this only in my spare time/when I’m really bored. Right now for example, I’m experiencing the same symptoms of an insomniac. I’m in Italy and with a 9 hour time difference, my sleeping pattern has been pretty much messed up. It’s 3.30 Am and I can’t fall asleep. I’ve tried everything…AND by everything I mean literally everything. I drank hot camomile (they say it should get ya sleepy), took these drops that are supposed to make you sleepy, jumped around the house (hoping I would get tired), tried to relax……but no. Nothing worked. This is when I thought “hey, I might as well use this time to do stuff” and yeah, here I am, on this blog.

What can I say? 2011 is going to end in 3 days! Only 3 days! And Goodbye 2011! I’m always excited when a new year comes. I don’t know exactly why, cause I know that it’s not like something AMAZING is gonna happen in the new year. I’m just excited cause I always hope that the new year will be better than the present year. Every year, my wish is the same. However, every single year, I get my hopes too high, and yeah, the year ends up being like every other year. BUT I can’t complain about my 2011, I have some great memories, great friends and had by far the best summer. However, the past 3 months have been really stressful for me and my family, and, one of my biggest wishes for 2012, is that all the pain and stress that my family is experiencing right now will go away. I feel like I can’t have fun and enjoy myself knowing my family is living a never-ending nightmare. I just want to hear good news from Italy, cause I think I’ve had way too many bad news.

So right now, this is my priority for 2012. I will also try to get the positive out of every negative situation from now on. So, if you are like me, and, have some wishes for 2012, you should start writing them down on a piece of paper. And by the end of 2012, (hopefully the mayans were joking when they made the calendar) you can check and see if they came true.

🙂