Show of hands who here was ever thirsting after their mother? Hopefully nobody raised their hand, but our main character this week, Agostino, can certainly not say the same.
I can’t believe the start of this book started like it did. I’m actually a little bit traumatized, but I guess obviously not as bad as Agostino was traumatized on the boat ride home with his mom and the young man. I feel like all of us (especially as we grow up) really rebel against imagining our parents as any sort of potential sexual beings- the mere thought of it grosses us out. That’s why it alarmed me so much to see Agostino interact or describe his mom as such. So I don’t really know what to make of his gradual descent from seeing his mom through a more filial lens which gradually turned more and more sexual. Before the whole incest thing really went into 5th gear, I thought that his mother’s actions were quite peculiar, this sort of looseness and unabashed behaviour, but now looking back, its hard to tell if his mother lacked this sort of sense of boundary or that the narration was a bit deceptive to reveal I guess the subconscious thoughts that Agostino didn’t really put a name to just yet.
As hard as it is to move on from talking about potential incest, there’s something else about this book that caught my attention. The rustle and tussle of the male friendships within this book is something that fascinates me and I think I see it sometimes in real life too. I don’t think the relationship between these young boys are representative of all or even most young male friendships, but this sort of crude and tough wrestling into a social hierarchy seems quite common among younger males, especially as I recall my experiences in middle school. The reason why this intrigues me is not only because the female equivalent is LARGELY different, but also the actual psychological effects in my view are quite worth looking into; I feel like this might be how inferiority complexes develop.
In some sense, I think that all of us can relate to Agostino in some ways (obviously not in the incestuous way, hopefully). I personally really connected with his emotions about losing your identity whilst not having acquired a new one just yet, and how lost that makes you feel in the moment to have to be suspended in the air like that, not yet knowing what pieces will fall into place.
This week my question to you all is: What do you think referring to his mother as “Big” means in this novel? What does it signify or how does it serve the author’s purpose?