Tag Archives: Love

I too, would cry if I was sleeping with children (The Lover)

“very early in my life it was too late”.

I feel like that quote in itself really encapsulates the tone of the book very well- the moodiness of the book, to the writing style being a sort of recollections of instances in her life past but sort of looking at it sometimes as if from a third person kind of view? Either way, this writing style was very Lana del Rey of her. This book heavily emanates a sense of melancholic nostalgia to me.

My feelings for this book is a warped one to some degree. I have first heard of this book from another source in a book review- as I believe for one reason or another its been quite popular recently and sort of exists in the same literary canon as Lolita, Norwegian Wood, Breasts and eggs,  as “modern classics” to read. So I did choose to read this book with some knowledge of what it would be about, and I sort of came to see this book outside the more academic context and saw it through the lens of “personal enjoyment” like a book you would pick up to read as a pass time. Which I feel like I can say now that this book does not suit those circumstances- pedophilia does not work as light reading.

On another note, this weeks shitty man award goes to the older brother of the book. I think that there’s enough shitty men in every single book so far that its probably worthwhile to hold a shitty man award by the end of the semester to see who can duke it out and win the title for the shittiest man of all. I wanted to beat the shit out of the older brother in this book really bad so I probably would vote for him as being the worst. And I feel like that says a lot when theres a literal pedophile in this book.

Now that I think about it, titling this book The Lover kind of feels like one sick joke. She states in the book that she doesn’t love him, and that his feelings of fear are too great to be love. So where exactly is the love in this book? Her family dynamics is also a big oof; I kept on sighing whenever they were mentioned. However, I guess I see more love in her relationship with her mother- she is after all just a girl obsessed with her own mothers unhappiness- as I would argue is often the case with eldest daughters in immigrant families.

My question to everyone this week is: out of all the shitty men this class has seen so far, which one do you think is the worst and why?

The Shrouded Woman – The Feminine Perspective

The Shrouded Woman by Bombal was this weeks required reading, which is sort like a series of vignettes inspired one by one by different people who have come to visit this dead woman at her funeral, and is then told from her perspective. I think just the premise of this kind of novel seems to be a pretty popular choice somewhat by writers, as popular books even nowadays seem to feature that sort of exploration, such as The Midnight Library. One thing that is different though is that the intention behind recounting your life and I guess the overarching message as different authorial intents kind of leads the readers to different conclusions. For examples, a lot of the times authors sort of loom the question of “what would you have done differently?” or “What are your regrets?” or “What are the final lessons you actually learn looking at your life to gain peace?” over our heads as the main character sort of gets this revelation in the face of death. However, for this book, I sort of feel like this books focus was about honesty. I think in many ways it works to capture the authenticity in Ana Maria’s thoughts, beliefs, and most importantly emotions, even though at time they may be immature, immoral or whatever that might be. Point is that I don’t think she is trying to curate this image of herself, or what she “means” to be to prove a point. I think the portrayal of her authentic experience sort of utilizes this structure in a different way, sort of like an answer to the question: what was a woman’s life like during this time and place? What could she possibly be thinking about? How would she feel about this topic? It sort of works to answer this question about identity more.

One thing that particularly stood out to me is that the construction of the novel is about delving into moments of her life again, but the centre of the narrative is very very concentrated on this sort of nuclear family and their family business. I think a lot of times it is true that female authors put a much heavier emphasis on the relationships of those around them and I found this book to be the same way. I imagine that if I were to write down my own life story or recount what recall at the time of my death, I probably would do the same too. But I guess I also recognize that in the time and place of where Ana Maria lived, women likely were conditioned to primarily focus on their family and manage the family etc. so in some sense, they are primed to place much more significance on this topic. By just considering the focus of her recalling the events of her life, it sort of gives rise to a broader conversation about the positions and roles of women at that time and place.

Question: Which character in the novel stood out to you the most and why was it Maria Griselda? Just kidding please let me know who it is and why.