Did you know that the day of the Deepwater Horizon explosion, there were BP executives onboard? They’d been flown out to celebrate 70 years of safety on the rig.
We can only imagine, as we head into this, the third part of our CUS Mascot breakdown [Ed. note: breakdown is suuuuper apt], that the mood in the CUS boardroom must be… oh, no, that’s in such poor taste.
More jokes that will hurt your feelings, after the jump.
In Part One of our Mascot Madness series, we—
that is to say, KAI & TAYLOR of Confidential, TREVOR (Features) and JUSTIN (Coordinating) of the Ubyssey, and NEAL of Insiders—
laid out the CUS’s nefarious plan to make their faculty seem cute and cuddly by designing a new mascot. Naturally, we had some things to say about the submitted designs: namely, that they’re all unrepentant, derivative hogwash. SERIOUSLY YOU TRACED A DISNEY LLAMA WTF
After the jump, we’ll be taking on six more submissions—three of which are men in suits! Way to buck the trend, guys.
Oh. Dear. God.
Sauder, according to its own press, has “reached a point where we take ourselves way too seriously. We’re students! In university!!” So what have these unheard-of levels of self-awareness prompted—a mandatory soul-searching elective? New courses on ethical business practices? Zen meditation?
Hmm, no. Doesn’t sound like the faculty. How about a $6000 mascot competition? Sauder students have pitted their own semi-artistic overachievers against one another, voting on submitted designs. The winning design will actually get made, and presumably some kid with hidden art skills will achieve the two holy grails of Commerce: winning, and cash money.
Hence our first feature was born, Mascot Madness. The following three posts (Saturday! Sunday! Monday! A LONG WEEKEND OF HILARITY) are a collaboration between Trevor Record (Features) and Justin McElroy (Coordinating) of The Ubyssey, Kai Green and Taylor Loren of AMS Confidential, and Neal Yonson of UBC Insiders. It’s long, but we promise it’s not tedious. If you’re actually in commerce, voting ends on Monday. Spread unicorn love accordingly.
Warning: The opinions contained after the jump may reflect some disillusionment or refer to negative stereotypes of Sauder students. Rest assured, we’re not all bitter Artisies, suffering away only to graduate into the worst job market in umpteen-hundred years. Some of us are in Science too.