Jon actually approached me at the start of the last class as I was reading this book. He asked me how I felt about it and honestly I did not have an answer for him. I kept flip flopping between who genuinely was the problem in this book and I think that’s what Duras wanted. Through race, gender and class intersecting to make this affair feel wrong in many ways, it really is hard to tell who is being taken advantage of. Before I get to my yapping about the book I just gotta say, Duras you would have loved Lana Del Rey.
This book gave me “lolita” vibes but in the way that I find it a little better than “lolita”. Im a sociology major so whenever anything has any notions to gender, race and class boy I “eat it up”. At the start I had the initial reaction of “oh fuck this guy hes sleeping with a 15 year old girl” and yes that lingers in the back of my mind, but, as the story progressed I started to think “wait the girl is also a little manipulative”. As Duras slept with the unnamed Chinese guy the more we start to see alternative motives as to sleeping with him. In the book she used him to get food for her family, get pleasure and obviously money. We see her desire for money throughout the book. Jon even comments in his lecture that because of race, gender and class being conflicting factors as to who is being used by who, we as the reader are left puzzled and uncomfortable. This is shown when the narrators family has lunch with the Chinese man. We see the narrator’s family take advantage of the food given to them but also spit such racist remarks at the fellow paying for the food. Rather shocking to read but obviously that’s the way it was.
The part I found so shocking was the fact that Duras wanted a threesome with one of her classmates. The immense detail put into the sensual scenes in this book had me sitting there thinking what the hell am I reading? I think this book did a very good job at making all of us question the morals of the situation at hand.
My question for you today is what made this book so uncomfortable for you? I have to say I think the age gap takes the cake for me.
Hi there! I loved reading your blog on The Lover. I think the part that made me uncomfortable was the fact that it was clear that the man knew what he was doing was illegal yet he continued to do so. Also sometimes the language he used when talking to Duras was really harsh and quite mean.
I think the scene with the narrators family and their way of treating her lover made me uncomfortable or angry, as well as the age gap between the girl and the lover. It is definitely a book that makes us consider all these different factors that come into play in relationships, such as age, advantages, and gender. Thanks for sharing – Maia D.
Hi! Actually, when I was reading this book, I also found it quite strange. A 15-year-old girl and a 27-year-old man—such an age difference was somewhat hard for me to accept. Moreover, I don’t think this relationship is purely romantic. The girl initially agrees to be with this man partly because of his wealth, and one of the reasons the man ultimately separates from the girl is because he’s unwilling to give up his wealth for her.
Hi! I absolutely love the title of your blog. to answer you question, I agree with you, their age gap made reading this book so uncomfortable
– Nini Koul
Maxene, I think you did a good rendition of the moral dilemma that the reader faces. It is easy to get lost in the author/narrator/characters’ thoughts or perspectives but I like that you switched it up by focusing on the reader!
Thanks for your comment!
– Tesi