This one reminded me of my best friend Rachel. (warning: this is a trauma dump)
In “My Brilliant Friend”‘, Ferrante illustrates class, gender and language through the friendship of two little girls as we progress to see them turn into adolescent women. Since Jon had already discussed the societal problems in this book, I would love to put my blog post’s focus on the more “silly things”.
This book reminded me what it was like to have a best friend growing up. I found myself in Elena and my best friend Rachel in Lila. Rachel shined like a star despite her stubborn tendencies and much like Lila, she did not want to conform and had many guys attention. I on the other hand, like Elena, was very kept to myself and tended to secretly envy her free will. I think that’s something Ferrante did very well. She accurately depicted what it felt like to adore someone so much sometimes you’re just sick with envy. I think its a very normal thing to have in female friendships, especially growing up. I mean it sucks obviously but sometimes you just have that one best friend that shines brighter than the sun itself.
I believe Ferrante brought up very important points of girlhood as well. Maybe this is my barbie? I felt myself in Elena, the way she hated herself in then mirror and thrive so hard to feel pretty compared to her peers. If not her beauty then she focused on her studies, striving to be the best. But I want to highlight that even though Elena has the education and seemed to “have a better life” she was still envious of Lila. I think that’s so important. Like yes Elena had the education that I am so sure that Lila wanted as well, she still felt so deeply jealous of everything in Lila’s life. I think this is sadly relatable to a lot of us. I think we at some point have been so deeply jealous of those around us that we tend to forget the privilege at hand.
I definitely felt that with Rachel. I, like Elena, looked at her as if she had so much more beauty and she definitely had way more of the guys attention at school. Like Lila, Rachel also disappeared, she passed away January 2020. So yeah maybe my lesson and the one of Ferrante through her writing of Lila is that you should maybe be a little less jealous of those around you and appreciate them more (I know that is not Ferrante’s intention but like I’m trying to give you a lesson)
I hope my vulnerability made sense when it comes to this book. Rachel was my brilliant friend and I believe she deserves this trauma dump of a blog post.
My question for you though is, who is your brilliant friend? I wish I could say more but I am out of words lol
First and foremost, I’m sorry to hear about your friend.
And then I wonder if, like Lila, she thought that in fact *you* were the “brilliant friend.”
Because in this book, after all, it’s not clear who is the brilliant friend. And perhaps the same is true in life, as our insecurities colour even our closest relationships?
Hi Jon! I wonder that too, I sure hope I was. I honestly think that’s the beauty of this book, Elena admired Lila so much just for her to be brilliant in her own way.