If you’re the type of person who reads these blogs, or other material with the same themes, we need to talk. First of all, good on you for seeking out information on mental health and what we can do to support your own and others’ well-being. Second of all, have you noticed a constant barrage of advice? I noticed that of all of the blog posts that I personally have written, each seems to include a form of vague but helpful (at least I found it helpful!) advice. While I agree with the work I’ve put out, as well as seen from others on this blog, one thing is certain: not all advice works for all people. In fact, any advice that myself or others will give to you may be helpful, but not life altering. And that’s good. If something you read resonates with you, I don’t think it was really someone else’s words; it was your own words that were merely presented in an enlightening way by someone else. What I’m trying to get at is, no matter how much good advice you’re given, you must find your own truth. You must truly believe in something in order for it to make a real impact, and that belief is inside of you, not something that can just be absorbed from an article.
If you’re seeing a counsellor or some other professional, you’ll probably find it’s very helpful. In my experience, the best counsellors were those who didn’t actually give advice. They listened, and asked you to reinterpret a negative feeling or memory to something more positive. That came from you. A counsellor is a guide, but you are the leader. You chose to see them in the first place, to continue to go, and to ultimately change. The person who, above all else, wants to make you happy is you. The negative feelings we have are excellent in clouding up that part in ourselves–the part that wants to make us happy and healthy. But it is there.
I thought about finding some sort of psychology article to back this up, but I realized for this topic, it probably doesn’t matter because the articles discussing how to organize your room, meditate, exercise, etc won’t change your mind and actually make it stick. The best way to make things stick is to learn the lesson yourself. Go out and mess up and learn from it. Vocalize what your soul already knows.
Written by Taryn Nowak-Stoppel