When someone tells you, “I love you,” and then you feel, “Oh, I must be worthy after all,” that’s an illusion. That’s not true. Or someone says, “I hate you,” and you think, “Oh, God, I knew it; I’m not very worthy,” that’s not true either. Neither one of these thought hold any intrinsic reality. They are an overlay. When someone says, “I love you,” [they are] telling you about [themselves], not you. When someone says, “I hate you,” [they are] telling you about [themselves], not you. Worldview are self views — literally. — Adyashanti
Replace the words “love” and “hate” with any other labels you’ve every had.
Adyashanti is conveying that your worth is not determined by how people feel about you, but by how you feel about yourself. Get to know you, recognize your strengths and accept your flaws, as cliché as it sounds. Asking for help won’t make you look weak — it makes you look courageous. Courageous enough to rely on others’ support to improve yourself and hopefully courageous enough to initiate assistance to other people that need your help as well. However, the different views that people have is something you may or may not be able to control. Thus, what relies completely in your hands is drawing the self view you want to see in yourself.
Stigma is a negative stereotype experienced by many people with mental health issues. It labels individuals and spreads misinformation. While our aim is to work hard to reduce social stigma, which involves prejudicial attitudes and discriminating behaviour of a public towards individuals with mental illness, the responsibility of eliminating self-stigma is in oneself. You and only you have the power to judge yourself and raise your self-esteem, which is crucial for your mental health and well-being.
Written by Miriam Wagner Valladolid
Sources:
Adayashanti (2004). Emptiness Dancing.