Recently I’m been thinking about worry. It is something that many people deal with, or for some like myself, struggle with. Worry is an inescapable feeling throughout our lives. It comes and goes whenever it desires, but I’ve learned that there is always a root to this feeling. We worry about the future, as it is a symbol of fear and uncertainty. Worry is there to remind us of something that needs our attention, or to remind us of the bigger picture that’s in front of us, flashing to be seen and understood. And worrying isn’t always a negative consequence. We worry because we care about our futures, our family/friends, ourselves.
We can worry about worrying (which is something I do too often). We can worry even if we don’t really want to. Thus, to deal with this, there are solutions to lessen the effect worrying has on you; such as, Helene Brenner’s body centred approach, “Focusing Orientated Therapy”. The approach is very complex, but for the purpose of this post, I want to focus on the simplified outlook, the ABC’s to dealing with worry: Acknowledge, Be in the presence, and Compassion. First, you acknowledge the worry that you’re feeling as it is striving for your attention without judgement. You treat it as fairly as you would with any other emotion/feeling, without diminishing it or making it bigger than what it is. You are only making aware that those feelings are there and valid, not becoming it or letting it affect you any more than it should. Next, be in the presence with the worry. You can ask your feelings of worry questions: why are you here? what are you telling me? what do you want from me? If you are possible to answer these questions, then that’s great! If not, that’s okay too. That’s where the next step comes in. Last, you give your worr(ies) compassion. Try to understand that this moment is not forever. Although the very unfortunate part to worry is that it’s very likely to happen again, continuously throughout our lives, we can lessen the impact it has on us each time. Perhaps there is even pros and cons to worry. Although it might make you feel very uncomfortable and in a place you don’t want to be, it might be a chance for you to be aware of something that is important and worthy of your attention. Try to be easy on it, and yourself.
I hope we can all be a little easier on ourselves when we deal with feelings that overwhelm us. I hope that through these ABCs, you can understand that worry may seem to drown you in the moment, as you only worry about the future and not the past, but we cannot let it affect our present and what we choose to do in the moment. We don’t have to let this feeling drown us, we can overcome it by being friendly and understanding. This moment of worry is not forever, it is only now and nothing more.
Written by Charlotte Nip
Sources:
Brenner, Helene G., and Laurence Letich. I Know I’m in There Somewhere: A Woman’s Guide to Finding Her Inner Voice and Living a Life of Authenticity. New York: Gotham, 2003. Print.