Looking at a magazine cover gives a fascinating look into what a mass population of people desire, or at least what a marketing team wants us to desire. If you could summarize it, they’re all advertently (or inadvertently) trying to sell one thing: happiness. According to any sort of advertisement you look at, the way to achieve this is through buying the latest product, or changing yourself. While self improvement is usually a good thing, what we’re being told is that our current state is never enough, and we must add or subtract a thing from our life in order to be happy. Change your weight? Then you’ll be happy. Land the perfect spouse? Then you’ll be happy.
In reality, these things we’re being sold do not equate to happiness. Happiness is not a tangible thing that we can put on our shelf once we’ve finally bought enough things or have done enough self-improvement. I think we’re often told that happiness is “not a destination but a journey”. The word journey draws a parallel with another word in this context: optimism. I think the one thing we should be trying to conquer is optimism, not happiness.
To stay optimistic: find at least one positive aspect about anything and everything in your life. I know that’s not ground-breaking advice, but I swear it’s more important than anyone gives it credit for. If you really truly cannot think of a positive thing about a negative situation you’ve been through, then the positive thing might be that you can learn something from it. You failed an exam/a course/out of school? Fine, you learnt that subject wasn’t for you in this moment in your life. You were cheated on? Fine, you learnt how to handle a bad situation, and how to recover from a broken heart, and hopefully how to let go and forgive. Maybe you learnt something about what you really need in your next partner. You have a mental illness? How do you spin that around to be positive?
There are some really difficult things that happen to us, and it seems like there is no silver lining, and trying to find one might seem flippant. So how do we ever move on and recover from something that we did not ask for, and would not wish upon anyone? Well, you are a beast if you can conquer a mental illness. You just proved your strength like no other. Even if you’re currently suffering, you’re still reading this and that means you are fighting so hard. You are so resilient.
The way I’ve come to peace with my mental illness is through helping others who may be currently suffering. One of the most frustrating things about mental illness is trying to describe your seemingly ridiculous symptoms to someone who doesn’t understand and can’t relate. Having someone to talk with who has experience in what you’re going through can be one of the most cathartic experiences. You can be that person for someone else; let that be your silver lining. While your suffering is not fair, you can be a rock to someone else and that can completely change their life. Share your experiences to help comfort others, and listen to those people in turn. Knowing you are not the only one out there can make all the difference.
Written by Taryn Nowak-Stoppel