Something a lot of first and second year students struggle with is deciding a major. Not all people have this problem, some come in knowing exactly what they want to do and how to do it. That’s how I felt coming into UBC, but as I’m finishing up my first year at university, I’m starting to realize that I don’t really know what I want to do with my life, and that scares me.
In my first few years of high school, I bounced around a lot between wanting to go into journalism and psychology because I loved both subjects and I was actually good at them in school. Then in my senior year, while taking my AP Psychology class, I had a revelation and realized that this is what I should and wanted to do. So when I was applying to universities and colleges, I sought out the best psychology schools so I could accomplish my goal of being a clinical psychologist. I could see my entire future laid out before me and I felt confident in the direction I was going with my life.
I was lucky enough to be accepted to UBC, whose psychology department is the best in Canada and ranked 11th in the world. I was so excited to be able to study a subject I was so passionate about at a university that was perfect for me. I felt like everything was perfectly aligning to the image I had in my head of my future.
However, as this year has progressed, I have learned a lot about how the psychology department is set up and how difficult it is to get a high average with a psychology degree. This is a problem for me because I would like to go to graduate school at UBC but I would need an 80% average or higher to possibly get into the Masters Psychology program. On top of this, I’ve found that I am also very passionate about sociology and that I’m also quite good at this subject as well. For a while, I considered double majoring in the subjects, then thought about doing a major in psychology with a minor in sociology, then possibly majoring in psychology with a minor in family studies, then maybe just majoring in sociology and minoring in psychology. I wrestled with these ideas for a while, and to this day, I’m still not sure what I want to do. I have a general direction but no clear path. The image I had in my head seems so far away now, like something impossible and unattainable, no longer a plan but an unachievable dream.
Since I am a person who has anxiety problems, having no plan for the future and being unsure of what I want to do with my life is absolutely terrifying. I feel like I am hurtling into a future of nothing, like I’m headed for a dead end or, even worse, a completely open end with no sense of direction. It has sent me into a spiral of existential breakdowns: realizing that I am in total control of my life but I don’t know what I’m doing with it, and that I only get this one opportunity to take advantage of my life on Earth before I inevitably die and I must decide what to do with this one short life I have before it is too late.
The only thing keeping me grounded right now is the realization that I’m only a first year student. I have three or four years of school left ahead of me to decide what I want to do. There is an immense amount of pressure on first and second year students to figure out and decide what they want to do with the rest of their lives, and we bring a lot of that pressure onto ourselves, unfortunately. The idea that when we are 18-20 years old we have to decide what to do with the rest of our lives is incredibly overwhelming. But to anyone who is dealing with the same problem, I want you to remember how much time you actually have. It may seem like you’re quickly running out (I know I feel that way sometimes), but in actuality, you have your whole life ahead of you and your entire time at university to decide what you want to do. Don’t pressure yourself to rush into a major because you’re scared or feel like you have to, and don’t freak out if you don’t have any idea what you want to do because that is perfectly normal. You’ve only been alive for two decades (or maybe a little less or little more); it’s fine to not know what you want to do with the rest of your life. Just take a deep breath and relax. You’ll find your passion and figure it out in your own time, whether that’s by the end of your first year or beginning of your fourth year. You’ll figure it out eventually. And it’s okay to change your mind as well; it’s normal to jump around, from an econ major to a math major to a physics major. Explore your options and take your time. University is a time for self-discovery and exploration, so take advantage of it, and don’t panic if you feel unsure. Many other people felt the same way you do but they all figured it out in their own time, just like you will.
Written by Shelby Rogers