Did you know that the day of the Deepwater Horizon explosion, there were BP executives onboard? They’d been flown out to celebrate 70 years of safety on the rig.
We can only imagine, as we head into this, the third part of our CUS Mascot breakdown [Ed. note: breakdown is suuuuper apt], that the mood in the CUS boardroom must be… oh, no, that’s in such poor taste.
More jokes that will hurt your feelings, after the jump.
DOES NOT APPROVE
The AUS Phailboat is going dowwnnnn.
Yesterday, my beloved Arts Undergraduate Society selected an interm President. They picked someone who already lost in the previous election, and was essentially a sore loser. FML.
After I straggled in, got a slice of delicious pizza, and started to listen, turns out there were four nominees for the vacant President seat. Who were these four fine candidates? The lovely Cheryl Kornder, former SUB Queen Crystal Hon, Mr. “FUCK THE AUS/LET’S MAKE IT AWESOMER” Brian Platt, and eventual winner, Ryan “I’m so happy and easy to work with vote for me even though my speech was complete hogshit garbage” Trasolini.
After the first round of voting, Cheryl and Crystal were eliminated. Hmm… both start with the letter C. Both eliminated. Conspiracy? I think so. Conspiracy even starts with the same letter (WHOA MIND BLOWN). Better take this up with student court so they can analyze something completely different about the council meeting. Eliminating these two was the first mistake council made.
Second round, everyone voted again. Turned out to be 12-9 or 11-9 or something like that for Ryan. Or Brian. “WHAT? With a B or an R?” With an R. Ryan. Ryan won. Hokay. Agreed. D’accord.
all eyes on you. all two of 'em.
@ginohhh’s tweet pretty much sums up how I feel about the situation: “Congratulations to the AUS for achieving new heights of incompetence. I’m out.”
Seriously. Council… WTF? You went though a month or two of elections / agony / student court / useless banter / resignations /complaining … and you end up appointing the same cry baby which put you into this whole mess? Smart. Real fucking smart. Maybe I shouldn’t even bemoan council, seeing as though it was all proxies there. Yeah, let’s let Mike Silley vote, even though he was kinda/sorta involved in the elections clusterfuck. Great fucking idea. No Offense, Mike.
I don’t know what to rant about. That council appointed Ryan, or you didn’t pick other, much more qualified candidates that weren’t involved in the clusterfuck of an election. You should have appointed someone impartial. Someone removed from the previous debacle. Someone that could have gotten the AUS back on track. Someone who could have led the recovery, and bring the AUS back to what it used to be (some of us still remember the ACF days).
Dammit council, you failed. I guess whining enough does pay off.