Tag Archives: ryan trasolini

The First Annual Flamingos

Awards season appears to be over with the climax of The Oscars…or is it? Full disclosure, I was too busy watching the Justin Bieber movie instead of the Academy Awards, so I don’t really know what kind of competition we’re up against here. Anyway, here’s AMS Confidential’s take on the last years entertainment in council chambers. We give you…The Flamingos.

[image redacted to protect people doing better things with their lives now]

Brittany Perna was elected as the International Students Rep, and at her first meeting the AMS decided to axe the position altogether for next year’s elections. BritBrit still could have retained her seat for the whole year, lobbying for the international kids and all, but chose to skip all the council meetings instead.

Elin Tayyar never failed to make us swoon with his hipster style every meeting. Just look at this photo, it’s like pixel sex. And seriously, who else do you know who can rock PLAID pants?

Bijan Ahmadian doesn’t win a flamingo, but hey, this is us being nice to him. We could have said a lot of other things, but we just really don’t like this shirt. Or his fur lined jackets. Or his cuffed jeans, etc.

Amanda Li is fierce. Not only is she super hot, she’s also an engineer. Besides having to put up with guys all the time and a severe lack of ladies, she is also President of the EUS and can probably outdrink every other non-engineer guy on council. Who wouldn’t tap that?

Michael Haack wasn’t elected as VP Admin, but unlike every other person who doesn’t get elected, he decided to run in the AUS Elections for AMS Rep. Since then, Michael has gotten involved in a lot of committees and has grown from being somewhat knollie to being a good leader-of-the-opposition type of guy. We were really sad he didn’t run for VP Admin again, and it’s been fun watching him evolve into a cute little butterfly over the last year.

Ben Cappellacci came on the scene as a relative no one to anyone not in Sauder. At first we thought he was your typical frat guy, but over the year we’ve found out that he is so much more than that. Ladies, he is also single. Ben worked really hard this year on a whole bunch of things – like implementing Credit/D/Fail but most notably for lobbying on the Land Use Plan. He stepped in to fill Bijan’s shoes by leading the referendum committee and was overall stellar at pretty much everything he did, especially for having no earlier hack experience. We already miss him, and his ridiculous tweets on Wednesday nights.

Oh, Ryan Trasolini. Pretty sure that he is at the point now where he just wants to forget that he was ever involved in AMS politics. However, let’s reminiscence: after his election resulted in a tie, with the tie breaker being cast for the other candidate, he appealed. After the appeal didn’t go the way he wanted, he went to student court, where they tried to throw out the entire election. Then Brian Platt stepped down in order for the AUS Executive to vote to appoint an interim President, and Ryan brought some of his frat friends to proxy and vote for him so he could win. After that, he got to be AUS President, woopdeedoo, where they got their account frozen for operating without a budget. But back to the AMS – Ryan was the chair of the Student Life Committee which was supposed to be dealing with the Block Party fiasco and making a plan for it to be fiscally sustainable. Turns out that he didn’t do any of this, leaving Crystal Hon to pick up the pieces in just a few weeks. We advise Ryan to just stick to spinning sick beats in the future.

Have some other suggestions for The Flamingos? Leave in the comments or email to amsconfidential [at] gmail.com

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Abandon Ship

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DOES NOT APPROVE

The AUS Phailboat is going dowwnnnn.

Yesterday, my beloved Arts Undergraduate Society selected an interm President. They picked someone who already lost in the previous election, and was essentially a sore loser. FML.

After I straggled in, got a slice of delicious pizza, and started to listen, turns out there were four nominees for the vacant President seat. Who were these four fine candidates? The lovely Cheryl Kornder, former SUB Queen Crystal Hon, Mr. “FUCK THE AUS/LET’S MAKE IT AWESOMER” Brian Platt, and eventual winner, Ryan “I’m so happy and easy to work with vote for me even though my speech was complete hogshit garbage” Trasolini.

After the first round of voting, Cheryl and Crystal were eliminated. Hmm… both start with the letter C. Both eliminated. Conspiracy? I think so. Conspiracy even starts with the same letter (WHOA MIND BLOWN). Better take this up with student court so they can analyze something completely different about the council meeting. Eliminating these two was the first mistake council made.

Second round, everyone voted again. Turned out to be 12-9 or 11-9 or something like that for Ryan. Or Brian. “WHAT? With a B or an R?” With an R. Ryan. Ryan won. Hokay. Agreed. D’accord.

all eyes on you. all two of 'em.

@ginohhh’s tweet pretty much sums up how I feel about the situation: “Congratulations to the AUS for achieving new heights of incompetence. I’m out.”

Seriously. Council… WTF? You went though a month or two of elections / agony / student court / useless banter / resignations /complaining … and you end up appointing the same cry baby which put you into this whole mess? Smart. Real fucking smart. Maybe I shouldn’t even bemoan council, seeing as though it was all proxies there. Yeah, let’s let Mike Silley vote, even though he was kinda/sorta involved in the elections clusterfuck. Great fucking idea. No Offense, Mike.

I don’t know what to rant about. That council appointed Ryan, or you didn’t pick other, much more qualified candidates that weren’t involved in the clusterfuck of an election. You should have appointed someone impartial. Someone removed from the previous debacle. Someone that could have gotten the AUS back on track. Someone who could have led the recovery, and bring the AUS back to what it used to be (some of us still remember the ACF days).

Dammit council, you failed. I guess whining enough does pay off.

A Procrastination Post! Your April News for N00bs

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Confidential is back, Koerner’s isn’t, and surprise, surprise the AUS is a shit show once again.

Brian vs Ryan vs Student “Court” vs Naylor vs OMG Enough Already

So the AUS is a goddamn nightmare. It all started with this document that makes no fucking sense and hurts our cute little headband decorated brains. As a fellow sexy blogger once said, “most of it is irrelevant shit amounting to intellectual masturbation.”

So, n00bs: Naylor was the AUS Elections Administrator and isn’t a fan of Student “Court” as referenced by “the rising scourge of kritarchy.” Student “Court” dislikes Naylor because…we’re not quite sure. Let the battles commence.

In the AUS Presidential election, Brian beat Ryan by one vote. Ryan filed an appeal to the SC over a single ballot that he thinks was ambiguous and should therefore be spoiled, meaning it wasn’t a tie, meaning Naylor’s tiebreaking vote wouldn’t count, and meaning that Ryan would be EL PRESIDENTE.

However, SC went all power thirsty like the Volturi and began to “investigate” the situation. They ramble about the background of the election, how paper ballots got fucked up, how the results apparently caught on fire, and concluded that in the end there was STILL A GODDAMN TIE (seriously, we’re not making this up).

However, what is really alarming (think black iris thirsty alarming) is how they then deem the election VOID AND OF NO EFFECT. SC was simply asked by Ryan to “rule” on the validity of a certain ballot. Instead, SC found that the way the AUS elections were run was in violation of AMS code because they lacked appeals procedures (yes, we actually looked up the code). They also made this ruling without looking at the AUS 2010 General Election Regulations which includes the appeals procedures.

Whatever, its now all a moot point because Brian resigned in a professional letter to AUS Council in which he signs it “peace out, dawgs.” Be still, our gangsta meme hearts.

More sparkles and #procrastireading after the jump!

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And you thought the last meme post was forced.

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Elections season is over, which, these days, means it’s time for recount/contest season! Rather than recount the Trasolini/Platt saga at great length, we’ll recap shortly, and then present the only result we care about: ACKBAR ACKBAR ACKBAR

So.

Trasolini loses by one vote, cast by AUS EA Matt Naylor to break a tie.
Trasolini writes open letter, claiming that ballots were miscounted (he has proof!!) & he should have won by two votes.
Wahmbulance called.
Recount reveals that Platt is still winner.
??????

Anyway, here’s a thought to cheer you up, Artsies. Sure, we’re starting the new elective year on a wonky note. But there’s so much for us to anticipate! Yes, you, Foresighted Arts Voters, had the courage—the understanding—the bravery to elect Seannie C., a.k.a. ADMIRAL ACKBAR. We here at the Confidential (okay, I here at the Confidential) are Huge Fucking Star Wars nerds, and we’re super-excited for the opportunity to spend an entire year doing variations on the trap meme.

When we haven’t had our caffeine:

tip your goddamn barista, kids, we're fucking starving

When we’re feeling just too old to keep up with you political whippersnappers:

tis not a woman true, but a half creature, neither fish nor foul

When shit’s about to get funky:

in west Coral City, born and raised / on the Calamarian Council is where I spent most of my days

WE’RE SO EXCITED!!! WE’RE SO EXCITED!! WE’RE SO SCARED

Voting for Sexy Candidates is Sexy.

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Let’s face it: looks matter. Attractive people succeed in life. Just knowing that Kai and Taylor are extremely attractive individuals is probably enough to get you to read this blog. Their shear hilarity and awesomeness gets you coming back with every post.

Enter myself, Gossip Guy, into the fold, and holy shit, you’re probably checking this site more than twitter and facebook combined. Yeah, I’m vain like that. Deal with it.

There are some sparkle-tastic sexy candidates this year. Choosing solely and purely on looks, who would the Confidential pick? Only the ones that fit our extremely strict guidelines. Sometimes it’s fashion that tickles our fancy, other times it’s someone’s adorableness that fancies our tickle. First up…. Arts.

"oh hai"

Ryan Trasolini

He’s the definition of smarmy. He was the one out there in front of every event, looking awfully cold, handing out his fantastic yellow business cards. That has to be a few sparkle points and a gold star or two in the Unicorn Championships.

Fact is, the man is bold. He can be in your face. He’s not afraid to take chances, just like his seafoam green shirt in the picture. He’s quite adorable and cute, which is evened out by his obviously cheesey/sleazy behaviour.

Ryan Trasolini – we approve. Of everything. Except for that shirt. I fucking hate that colour.

YEAH YOU WANT TO READ MORE.

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aus throwdown/showdown

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Gossip Guy here. Happy to see me? I know you are. I can practically see the smile on your face from wherever I’m currently sitting/stumbling.

Well, fellow Artsies… we have a lot of tough choices this year. We’ll have to pick Yes or No in four different races, one involving a Star Wars character (WIN). Three guys going for President, and two ladies and purple lightsaber-wielding Sammy J for VPX. Then a bunch of General Officers and AMS reps. But c’mon… let’s focus on what’s really important here (Not that they aren’t all important. Just some things take priority, k?). So yes… EL PRESIDENTE. How are we going to decide who to support this year? We’ll leave it to…

the crudely rendered semi-androgynous pink and black gambling addicted elections mascot

I now realize I spent all my bloody time making that stupid graphic, and didn’t write anything of substance. Make sure you read the contest at the end of the post, and actually enter, so I don’t end up crying alone tonight because I wasted so much time. [Kai sez: welcome to the Confidential Editorial board, GG. You’ll get used to it.]

We’ll do some in-depth analyses in the coming days – and be assured, we WILL penetrate into the inner recesses, unlike the EUS elections, which we know nothing about. Full candidate list and some useless links after the jump y’all. AND THE CONTEST.

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